tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13907560084575444592024-03-12T19:38:06.475-07:00Pop Culture Gone BadA snob, English major, and general malcontent takes on the everyday chaos that erupts from the world of movies, tv, music, the internet, and whatever else you can fathomDevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-61148246256917194712013-11-06T12:37:00.000-08:002013-11-06T12:38:26.398-08:00Can Only Death Stop The Simpsons?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuLBP-PZULlNTdJweph8hjRgOAKmKE7krZe7NJu4HWYdegRQhJOOjIUfLzho8jmzJRd6RhnnwmXwIYCRR7iYcDk2vR7TtH3iPCu6OyFZuB0ZWVjv6iWn6HzDd23BgE7ZJi8tZYAbkD9UI/s1600/Miss+you.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuLBP-PZULlNTdJweph8hjRgOAKmKE7krZe7NJu4HWYdegRQhJOOjIUfLzho8jmzJRd6RhnnwmXwIYCRR7iYcDk2vR7TtH3iPCu6OyFZuB0ZWVjv6iWn6HzDd23BgE7ZJi8tZYAbkD9UI/s320/Miss+you.jpg" /></a></div>Recently, The Simpsons and the world suffered the loss of Marcia Wallace, comedienne who voiced Edna Krabappel. While the staff of <i>The Simpsons</i> have handled it well, giving her a touching chalkboard goodbye, her death has me again thinking about the monster that is <i>The Simpsons</i>'s longevity. The show, despite being past its prime for over 15 years, is now on season 25 and Al Jean has announced hopes for at least 5 more seasons after this one. There was a lot of talk about it ending in Season 24 and yet it didn't. Lists have been made about <a href="http://splitsider.com/2013/10/18-things-youd-be-surprised-happened-on-the-simpsons-if-you-stopped-watching-in-2003/">everything that has changed on The Simpsons</a> since the original fans mostly stopped watching. This show is one of the few even that could have been some of the current writers' favorites when they were teens. <p>
But there are more issues with <i>The Simpsons</i>'s longevity than simply the fact that the show many of us loved back in the day is going on long without us, like an ex who has a life well after you break up and move to different cities. It goes beyond the inferior quality of most of the episodes and the plain excessiveness of 25 seasons. Now, for the first major time since Phil Hartman, mortality is an issue. Sure other characters have died, such as Homer's mom and Maude Flanders, but they were mostly one-off characters or at least very minor ones. Sure Maude Flanders was the first major death...but even the show mocked how inconsequential of a character she was (and furthermore, the death was due to an actress leaving, not dying): <p>
<i>In many ways, Maude Flanders was a supporting player in our lives. She didn't grab our attention with memorable catchphrases, or comical accents. But, whether you noticed her or not, Maude was always there ... and we thought she always would be.</i> <p>
Now, however, an important secondary character has died - one who has arcs, love stories, multiple episodes, etc. And I worry that, with each year the Simpsons continues, it will get closer and closer to losing other major characters. <p>
Perhaps the most alarming thing about Marcia Wallace's passing is that, for the most part, it wasn't overly alarming. It wasn't like John Ritter's death, or Phil Hartman's. While Wallace's passing was tragic, it was also roughly one standard deviation under the average female life expectancy. In short, she died younger than expected, but she didn't die overly young. Yet she was 45 when she was hired. By all means, the show probably wasn't expected to outlive the actress (unlike, say, the Harry Potter Franchise and Dumbledore's first actor). <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisSXtbZMWlDkdSnDV50iNQYQaQnJmshOsU_ggvAjPC-7ExJO4SrzauGuH5Qb2DDP1U09t9QYMzJ8acj3nZTBNrLdof8elHVBdEqyCncxDJANWL3obE-Wfa0HHdhK3HcBxfU-23ZR0KcUc/s1600/edna-krabappoly.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisSXtbZMWlDkdSnDV50iNQYQaQnJmshOsU_ggvAjPC-7ExJO4SrzauGuH5Qb2DDP1U09t9QYMzJ8acj3nZTBNrLdof8elHVBdEqyCncxDJANWL3obE-Wfa0HHdhK3HcBxfU-23ZR0KcUc/s320/edna-krabappoly.png" /></a></div><p>
<i>I'm putting this image here since mainly cause I love this joke and because it shows how present Krabappel was in that universe</i> <p>
Now the main characters' voice actors are all notably younger. For now. But if the Simpsons keeps going as it seems it might, the show might ultimately have to face not only the death of a supporting actress, but a main voice actor as well. Seem unlikely? 12 years ago, the longevity and the inexhaustible nature of the show, despite its faults, was the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-z-puGaImE">subject of a moment of Simpsons self parody</a>. 12 years ago. In short, the show has doubled its length since then. Another 20 years seems unlikely in any other sitcom. With the Simpsons, I'm less convinced of the impossibility. <p>
Why does this unnerve me, aside from the usual creepiness of mortality? Maybe it's because of how the Simpsons carries on and how this event affects it seems like the perfect symbolic portrayal of how we think about life vs. how life actually is. Springfield was always going to have Edna Krabappel. She was there, as permanent as Moe's, Santa's Little Helper, even Bart. And now I'm thinking of a Springfield without Edna Krabappel. And it's reminding me that nothing lasts. Even in this world that gives the illusion of immortality - where the Simpsons can have multiple Christmas, Apu can get married, have children, and watch them grow to toddlers as Maggie remains permanently a baby - characters eventually need to say goodbye, all because their actors are not gifted with the same Wilde-esque pictures that their animated counterparts have. <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn01.cdnwp.celebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/04/marcia-wallace-tribute.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://cdn01.cdnwp.celebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/04/marcia-wallace-tribute.gif" /></a></div>
I know, I'm being maudlin. But maybe it's because The Simpsons's refusal to end seems to be denying us the great pleasure of stories: "And they all lived happily ever after." Edna will never return to Seymour, she won't be with us as Springfield marches on, and as the years go on, she may be supplanted in canon with another teacher. In a scary way, perhaps, The Simpsons in this way might be the most realistic show of all. It has the illusion of narratives and completion, but ultimately like The Sopranos, things do not end - they just fizzle out. Death happens, there's brief (often off-screen) mourning, and life goes on. A character's death does not become the focal point of a story.
Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-56493072606135430882013-09-22T18:55:00.000-07:002013-09-22T18:55:50.337-07:00The Extremely Good Fan Strikes Orange is the New Black<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8bGZGLuDh0Jc-0az5PzsXXPf_RfxWGZXKgZAKHzS9o0zmQQZTVT27XmranSQ6mO0DwN7dbgcK6xup9KXrgW9b4w-pCrps11RlfGOU_CaPPPxwithuuHc1O8660EJEjkfBeeg0pKfRF2c/s1600/keep-calm-and-love-alex-vause-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8bGZGLuDh0Jc-0az5PzsXXPf_RfxWGZXKgZAKHzS9o0zmQQZTVT27XmranSQ6mO0DwN7dbgcK6xup9KXrgW9b4w-pCrps11RlfGOU_CaPPPxwithuuHc1O8660EJEjkfBeeg0pKfRF2c/s320/keep-calm-and-love-alex-vause-1.png" /></a></div>Warning: this post contains spoilers for Orange is the New Black.<p>
In her <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2013/09/last-nights-breaking-bad-that-mindbending-phone-call.html?utm_source=tny&utm_campaign=generalsocial&utm_medium=facebook">commentary on this past week’s episode of Breaking Bad</a>, Emily Nussbaum brought up the idea of “bad fans”: <p>
<i>All shows have them. They’re the “Sopranos” buffs who wanted a show made up of nothing but whackings (and who posted eagerly about how they fast-forwarded past anything else). They’re the “Girls” watchers who were aesthetically outraged by Hannah having sex with Josh(ua). They’re the ones who get furious whenever anyone tries to harsh Don Draper’s mellow.<p>
</i>
She even notes that some shows eventually build their “bad fans” (or Bad Fans) into the shows in some way: Sopranos had the Cleaver horror films, Breaking Bad created Todd who worships Walt, etc.<p>
Of course, the idea that there are Bad Fans necessarily implies there are Good Fans. Good Fans note the subtlety of the show. They see Breaking Bad as the morality tale it is meant to be. They appreciate the familial drama of the Sopranos and enjoy watching the gradual invasion of the feminism and racial politics and Vietnam into Mad Men. They may find the protagonists fascinating or charming, but they never side with them. <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKavxEH34M_ogC_dqi6Yc7Bb65jSYkYqI_C5BhSY0cXJlvlnoFOwOIV7mqs2pmlv5xNwgO-y9rUm0yMS5kNXLdgw3_gXXWV-9GI2noMSf9Flk8v88KFmdZurGjPAzJ5prmBfZVF3KEYQc/s1600/JenniferMelfi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKavxEH34M_ogC_dqi6Yc7Bb65jSYkYqI_C5BhSY0cXJlvlnoFOwOIV7mqs2pmlv5xNwgO-y9rUm0yMS5kNXLdgw3_gXXWV-9GI2noMSf9Flk8v88KFmdZurGjPAzJ5prmBfZVF3KEYQc/s320/JenniferMelfi.jpg" /></a></div>In fact, if any show had a Good Fan built into its universe, it would be Sopranos with Tony’s psychiatrist, Dr. Jennifer Melfi. Throughout the show, Melfi seems to flirt with the idea of growing to like Tony as a person, or allowing herself to be taken in by his affability; ultimately, however, she always shocks herself back to reality that he is a mob boss and a Bad Man. Even when she is faced with a trauma (and I won’t go into detail for those of you who haven’t watched it), she considers acting like one of the other characters on the show, only to remind herself of her superior moral compass. <p>
That’s what a good fan does: like the character for his craft and his charm, but ultimately remind herself that she must deplore that character for his morality.<p>
But is there such thing as an Overly Good Fan? Is there a fan so adroit at reading the genre of Quality TV that s/he overreads a new protagonist and ultimately passes the steps of being charmed and evaluating to go to the typical endpoint: despising the protagnoist? In the case of Orange is the New Black, I would say so.<p>
From my current experience, Orange is the New Black does not have a lot of Bad Fans. I haven’t really met anyone who views Piper as the model that all other characters must be judged against, or agrees with Piper's statement that everyone who is in prison deserves it (and has made bad choices), or thinks that prison is a good system. <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYeMDAunhurCRT5Y4qZZ3It44IBXGnfQkCji54FOhk0ibzUlLc4aVMn_Q9yM2PC0_6jSuzi0RgQom5JAL3evgsNW2HhCmWo7s08mc6BRtxfvmFYvbzMrQbNkM6RuYWRCvDfLVx3m8HMLE/s1600/o-ORANGE-IS-THE-NEW-BLACK-facebook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYeMDAunhurCRT5Y4qZZ3It44IBXGnfQkCji54FOhk0ibzUlLc4aVMn_Q9yM2PC0_6jSuzi0RgQom5JAL3evgsNW2HhCmWo7s08mc6BRtxfvmFYvbzMrQbNkM6RuYWRCvDfLVx3m8HMLE/s320/o-ORANGE-IS-THE-NEW-BLACK-facebook.jpg" /></a></div><p>
It has a decent amount of Haters (the paranoid readings of this show are countless). In fact, the only people who take the line about Piper and all others making “bad choices” as the show’s POV (a job that should be left for Bad Fans) are the Haters who do so in order to critique the show. <p>
It has many Good Fans, who grasp that this show interrogates Piper’s POV and racial/class priveledge and that Orange is the New Black does so in order to explore the interiority of other characters of less frequently showcased races and classes.<p>
And then it has Extremely Good Fans. These people hate Piper. To them, she is nothing but a stuck-up, privileged, self-centered rich white bitch. Even very smart, nuanced readers of the show (as shown, for example, <a href="http://kaydubya.wordpress.com/2013/08/27/am-i-doomed-if-im-a-bw-and-i-enjoy-fried-chicken/">here</a> in the last caption in an otherwise brilliant, incisive article) do not like her.<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7_idGttHUhyQhVpKo5R7rNRLgxX3Iof3svNWZ7UAdoRGZiBxlPwZfEa_3JBXb9MeJHI0pNsS9SdG3T0JfPkf6aenwdE-3B68GG8hOrsQK-PWUyK7lCMWo8nTYChXMi90pN9UeK2D_tGo/s1600/netflix-sets-premiere-date-for-jenji-kohan-s-orange-is-the-new-black.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7_idGttHUhyQhVpKo5R7rNRLgxX3Iof3svNWZ7UAdoRGZiBxlPwZfEa_3JBXb9MeJHI0pNsS9SdG3T0JfPkf6aenwdE-3B68GG8hOrsQK-PWUyK7lCMWo8nTYChXMi90pN9UeK2D_tGo/s200/netflix-sets-premiere-date-for-jenji-kohan-s-orange-is-the-new-black.jpg" /></a></div>Now Piper has her problems. She’s definitely narcissitic at times, she’s lived a sheltered life, and to an extent gets preferential treatment (until that turns on her). But does she really in fact deserve to be lumped into the same category as the murderous Tony Soprano and Walter White and the solipsistic, avaricious, deceitful Don Draper? Even if she did, doesn’t she deserve at least to get that “We find her really likeable but…” detour that these characters get from Good Fans on their journeys?<p>
It seems as if these fans have taken Alex’s and Larry’s season finale comments about Piper at face value: she is a force of evil narcissism - nothing she suffers is anything but her fault. They disregarded how self-centered Larry is and how Alex had admitted just the prior episode that she’s a “ruthless pragmatist” who ready to sell Piper out. Heck, they even seem to take Piper’s own depression-fueled self-hatred at face value. Ultimately, Piper has earned and deserved all that has happened to her in the first season. She may be the real villain of the show.<p>
Orange is the New Black, a very smart show, a show that almost feels designed for grad students who debate representational politics, to me seems like it has anticipated this reading. And where other shows create avatars for their bad fans after the fact, I cannot help but wonder if Alex, or even Piper herself, become avatars for the Extremely Good Fans. The critiques these two lodge against Piper in the final episodes seem to anticipate much of the internet reaction. But if Orange is the New Black has shown us anything about itself, it's that one person's point of view should never be fully accepted.<p>
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Call me crazy (or privileged) but I find Piper to be flawed but sympathetic. She’s not our moral compass by any means. She probably needs a good deal of therapy and the occasional slap of reality. But she’s a pretty real-feeling person who, despite her problems, is ultimately a character I like and want to see turn out okay by the time Orange is the New Black reaches its final episode. So why don’t Extremely Good Fans feel the same way?<p>
One reason simply could be that these fans have gotten too used to Quality TV and immediately assume characters aren’t supposed to be sympathetic or relatable any more. The hatable protagonist is almost formulaic now. And no one wants to be the naive Bad Fan. <p>
Or perhaps Piper starts from a less likeable place. Walter White, for all his problems, may appeal more to a Cultural Studies mindset; he needs to defy The State to cope with Capitalism, whereas Piper’s whiteness is thrown in our face. Walter’s story is about the underdog climbing up; Piper’s is the high being brought down. We’re more used to cheering on the former. <p>
Maybe it’s an unfair comparison since the Extremely Good Fans of Orange is the New Black may be turned off by Mad Men or Sopranos due to all the Bad Fans. Insert your own Apples and Oranges joke here. Maybe it's the fact that we think we know Piper will turn out fine and write a book and sell that book to Netflix (though honestly, by now, considering this show to be in any way a biopic seems to be risking being another Bad Fan). Or maybe, just maybe, we’re just more comfortable with guys breaking the rules.<p>
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Whatever the reason, I’m not so ready to leave Piper to the SHU so I can focus on the other characters. In the end, I may be Team Suzanne (and even she thinks Dandelion’s all dried up), but I still need to remember that as wise as she may have sounded that scene (and as awesome as she can quote Shakespeare), she still can get <i>pissed</i> off. She's still written as human. She's still fallible. She's not an author's mouthpiece. She’s a combo of sympathetic and messed up, like most of the other inmates are, thanks to the nuanced writing in this show. And maybe only seeing the former in Piper would make you a Bad Fan…but only seeing the latter, as some of the Extremely Good Fans are doing, just turns you into a Bad Fan by any other name.
Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-8361421036876042052013-09-08T11:08:00.001-07:002013-09-08T12:32:32.719-07:00Why he keeps answering that question: Joss Whedon and Feminism as Marketing Strategy<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZd7f5slNufoxT6LcAe0xKLJYZi_5C38lE5G2J-DCkXRep3dDxSUsZDn4y5JVCQd759mWMmpX1OUx-KYu-jWvoIk4APtKXmCmBB2q-kzr5amjoguQlqH7zTOycdbfJgpbdI0rJrNkGoA/s1600/Joss-Whedon__120808043648-275x439.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdZd7f5slNufoxT6LcAe0xKLJYZi_5C38lE5G2J-DCkXRep3dDxSUsZDn4y5JVCQd759mWMmpX1OUx-KYu-jWvoIk4APtKXmCmBB2q-kzr5amjoguQlqH7zTOycdbfJgpbdI0rJrNkGoA/s320/Joss-Whedon__120808043648-275x439.jpg" /></a>
<i>Q: So, why do you write these strong female characters?<p>
A: Because you’re still asking me that question. – Joss Whedon</i><p>
If you haven’t seen this quote in some sort of a graphic bandied about Facebook in the past year or so, I congratulate you. Because I can’t seem to escape it.<p>
Recently, there was an impressive piece making the rounds about the problems of <a href="http://www.newstatesman.com/culture/2013/08/i-hate-strong-female-characters">Strong Female Characters</a>. Also, the hit book of 2012, Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, makes an excellent case against the Cool Girls. I am partially troubled by Whedon because, despite his talk (and to be fair, the fact he often overcomes the Smurffette principal), he seems to be writing a never-ending parade of Cool Girls and Strong Female Characters. They seem to be his concept of feminism's logical end.<p>
What disturbs me more, however, is how Whedon has coopted the language of feminism into a form of self-aggrandizing marketing. He's the Feminist Comic/Nerd Writer. He <i>deserves</i> endless praise for how he dares to write Strong Female Characters. In the end, the above quote (which notably, <a href="http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/josswhedonequalitynow.htm">never actually happened</a>) in its meme form - and the dialogue around it in any Facebook comments section - becomes less a strong statement on the case of feminism and the problems of female representation and power in the media industry. Ultimately, it's more a case of basking in how awesome Joss Whedon is to say it. <p>
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[SIDE NOTE: Before I begin this entry, I should note that I am committing two of the major sins of paranoid reading. First and foremost, I’m critiquing something of which I’m not entirely versed. Secondly, I’m critiquing something I don't like much anyway. The first is the more grevious offense (but I have an excuse in a second), the second is more of a pet peeve. I get annoyed paranoid readings of things the writer dislikes because ultimately the thesis seems to be “and here is why I am right for hating it aesthetically, because it is politically bad.” Admittedly, I may be in the minority here. <p>
As for these problems and my issues with Joss Whedon, I’ll try to excuse myself the best I can. Concerning the first, this critique is only about what I’ve seen of his (Avengers, the first eight or so episodes of Firefly, his X-Men run, Alien 3, Toy Story, and Doctor Horrible) and, much more importantly, about his self-presentation in the media. Therefore, this ccritqiue does not apply at all to Buffy or Dollhouse or anything else. That being said, having seen a few movies, about 5 or 6 hours of a television show, and some comics, I feel like I'm at least not a Whedon-virgin.<p>
As for the second, I’ll at least be up front about it. I think Whedon’s work is forever hindered by the fact that all of his characters talk in the exact same register (i.e. like Joss Whedon). This problem prevents me from ever seeing his charactters as people – they can never become more than author avatars (Fiction Suits as Grant Morrison would say). There may be something intrinsically linked with this problem and the problem this blog addresses (i.e. Whedon writes women as men), but that's a topic for another entry I suppose. <p>
Oh, and for anyone wanting to defend Whedon by saying that he did not write all of those Firefly eps, I’m invoking “show runner as TV auteur” theory. Whedon had a large amount of input in those episodes. He gets a fair share of the credit for them; thus he deserves any blame as well.]<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT08TJ720I2wB4m5NoZbUJRFSfiYfCuzy6oZIQLgZD9ELv_K5MpDbSTTnMzf1Oy_3klzHbdcEkNbrTuIiiDdjF8q9Tebq9t-LJLe4aXRIu1rhvzRKh79qI_gBYsbrf_vv6Ezgf_zFPxsc/s1600/firefly+cast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT08TJ720I2wB4m5NoZbUJRFSfiYfCuzy6oZIQLgZD9ELv_K5MpDbSTTnMzf1Oy_3klzHbdcEkNbrTuIiiDdjF8q9Tebq9t-LJLe4aXRIu1rhvzRKh79qI_gBYsbrf_vv6Ezgf_zFPxsc/s320/firefly+cast.jpg" /></a></div>
I’m sure Whedon’s heart is in the right place. I know he does identify as feminist, which in and of itself is a good thing and not to be undervalued. So what bothers me? Perhaps the fact that his idea of feminism isn’t all too complicated of one…and yet he never shuts up about it. Most interviews with Whedon seem to be about how he’s a feminist…and a man (gasp!), but never really about any of the nitty gritties of feminism. Feminism for Whedon often does not seem to go beyond the point of “Let the lady kick ass.” In Firefly, we have a Strong Female Character (Zoe, playing into many of the stereotypes of Black Women and strength), two Cool Girls (Manic Pixie Dreamgirl Kaylee and Inara, a sexworker who is able to be dignified by Whedon only once he completely untangles sex work from its current reality and removes any complexities in the situation), and one Victim (River). Black Widow is the Cool Strong Female Character. Emma Frost and Kitty Pryde don’t fare much better. And I don’t even remember any details of the love interest form Doctor Horrible. <p>
To be fair, sometimes Whedon evolves from this position to “Let the ladies kick ass, and let there be a more proportionate number of ladies to men as the ass-kicking commences,” and that’s a good thing. But he’s been playing the game this way for 20 years. Isn’t it about time someone who likes using feminism so much as he does starts thinking more deeply about the concept? This form of self-branding that’s probably gotten him a serious amount of cash by politically minded nerd-girls and socially-conscious nerd boys should be more than <i>simply</i> a marketing strategy, right? <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwU9OqUqUanIOnI4OycidduD33ddobI2e6tVBbGknP_Hc4gM21wp3jc8kz59xJLf47eNP7nxkuh5R_6ZlH7JP2SRAbXcpVPbvicFo99aakeXbo5EgpYXel2D_wJ9-RfCxa04puf6R2wHk/s1600/buffy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwU9OqUqUanIOnI4OycidduD33ddobI2e6tVBbGknP_Hc4gM21wp3jc8kz59xJLf47eNP7nxkuh5R_6ZlH7JP2SRAbXcpVPbvicFo99aakeXbo5EgpYXel2D_wJ9-RfCxa04puf6R2wHk/s320/buffy.jpg" /></a></div>Instead, what we get is a Whedon who continues to tout feminism in a reductive manner. This manner would be refreshing to hear from someone just starting his writing career or who up until now has not be reknowned for his takes on female characters. But for someone who has espoused it as long as Whedon, it feels lazy, perhaps even a bit disinterested. <p>
When talking about Avengers, Whedon complains about the lack of female characters he could use. When asked about his being a male feminist, his response is less an attack on the men who would accuse him of playing traitor and <a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/07/20/joss-whedon-comic-con/">more a defense against the imaginary women who think men can’t be feminists</a>. There’s also an odd “transgender people complain too much” comment that weirdly sticks out. And, when asked about the rise of vampire fiction in contrast to his Buffy works, he said, “The Twilight thing and a lot of these franchise attempts coming out, everything rests on what this girl will do, but she’s completely passive, or not really knowing what the hell is going on...A lot of things aimed at the younger kids is just Choosing Boyfriends: The Movie.” <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCbgq75KyVbD-_BxidHJbmZso2RY3B2e9JWGcgcUweIfSOdieWF4gi9wUiDATAcDY-qsp6KstzPlHYZrodOIVnw2Bp5c_7k71VZldOeZcZy9Als53byi6Ur-3MJCMWtAoEux9P72ULagU/s1600/the-avengers-poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCbgq75KyVbD-_BxidHJbmZso2RY3B2e9JWGcgcUweIfSOdieWF4gi9wUiDATAcDY-qsp6KstzPlHYZrodOIVnw2Bp5c_7k71VZldOeZcZy9Als53byi6Ur-3MJCMWtAoEux9P72ULagU/s320/the-avengers-poster.jpg" /></a></div>Whedon wants to play Feminist but doesn’t want to get his hands dirty. His confrontations with anything resembling a patriarchy (comic fans' expectations, movie execs) feel just as staged as any of the fights he’s written in which a tall, statuesque woman defeats ten men. He acts as if complaining about the lack of women in the movie he wrote and directed completely exculpates him from any accountability. Again, it'd be one issue coming from an up-and-comer. But Whedon's in a position now where a real feminist would ask himself: "Well, now what am I gonna do about it?" <P>
Currently it sounds like we’ll be getting three new characters in Avengers: Ultron, Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver. Once more the numbers don’t look all that good for representation. In fact, despite his huffing and puffing, his sequel has the gender makeup of the average summer blockbuster (the Smurffette principal is slowly becoming the Smurfette and Friend one). But couldn’t Whedon, if he cared, do something about it? Rumors existed that Whedon is getting paid 100 million dollars for the next Avengers. He fervently denies this number, but I imagine it’s not too far off. In short, Whedon is a desireable commodity for Disney/Marvel. Why not use that leverage? Ask for more ladies, a lot more, or he walks? Again, not every director needs to do these things. But ones who like to talk on and on about their politics are more accountable.<p>
His male feminist response is almost too odd for response. It feels as if Whedon’s foe there is a branch of feminism that seems more or less gone: i.e. the separatist movement. Not only that, that movement has really not contributed all too much since Whedon started his career. It has and had occasional gasps, but by now the current strain feels more in the root of men acknowledging their privilege before enterting discussion. Why in his answer does he position himself against women even though there's tons of imaginary men against whom he could pitch his answer?<p>
My knowledge of Whedon’s own queer-politics is admittedly too limited to go into here, so I won’t approach that angle for now...except to say it sounded not incredibly ally-like.<p>
And then there’s Twilight. What can be more feminist than hating Twilight, right? Right? Everyone hates Twilight! Except, you know, its fans…most of which are female. <p>
While admittedly Twilight has many problems and is by no means the most exemplary case of feminism, I always find myself a bit unnerved by all the hate it gets. A lot of this goes back to issues of genre/gender that I won’t go into much here, so I’ll just focus on the attacks on it from the Whedonesque POV – i.e. those that are trying to appear feminist. <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoTehtytN9yHep2bzwYhUCXF72mf_wFa6RF_dJO81j7GUzKAajqmK6KS723E3KVyb5ykGhIH7SdRmaJ0wG57CImPQxxekbgLGwLgxpXwflINBh4bY9VjqXlM7fg9jJg8_g2J_qrVasQOo/s1600/bella.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoTehtytN9yHep2bzwYhUCXF72mf_wFa6RF_dJO81j7GUzKAajqmK6KS723E3KVyb5ykGhIH7SdRmaJ0wG57CImPQxxekbgLGwLgxpXwflINBh4bY9VjqXlM7fg9jJg8_g2J_qrVasQOo/s320/bella.jpg" /></a></div>The issue with these critiques is that they never really take anything resembling sexism or anything resembling a patriarchy to task. They often come down to “Look at the dumb female [fans/writer/protagonist]. [Aren’t they/isn’t she] silly for [liking this book/writing this book/not fighting for herself]?” It’s a criticism that never extends its contempt beyond the female sphere and is content with making women the object of scorn and ridicule. It never questions the larger structures that may create this issue, never wonders why these books are appealing to girls, and how else we may work to improve entertainment beyond shaming the readers and the writer. Whedon's argument sadly seems to be "Ladies, time to man up!"<p>
As for “Choosing Boyfriends: The Movie”…why is choosing a boyfriend necessarily a bad plot? Despite the fact that Whedon adapted a Shakespearean comedy (and that’s all any of them are really - how to pick a mate), he somehow assumes that reducing a female-aimed YA down to one plot becomes immediate shorthand for its inadequacy compared to the endless kicking and world-saving of his narratives. Last time I checked, picking a boyfriend is tough – it’s filled with emotional struggles and self-interrogation and lots of meaty twists and drama. Sure, Twilight or its ilk may not always provide that deepness, but neither does a much of YA literature fully explore such concepts in the same manner that adult literary fiction would (nor does really it need to). <p>
Whedon’s equation of romance with worthless storytelling brings to mind a Virginia Woolf quote:<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZtInKVK2kXhtrlTm4TP1P3bdEb5_iiq_d_fwLalX7JNGDozqpkv0Ht6SRbBNmxrQT6d_xsq0odrYDYYhWbgp66-9rPJbmAlNatfdO6lTWx_sZUC1ZQ3LQb4zWSaTzvmhPkImi4J-2T2U/s1600/220px-VirginiaWoolf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZtInKVK2kXhtrlTm4TP1P3bdEb5_iiq_d_fwLalX7JNGDozqpkv0Ht6SRbBNmxrQT6d_xsq0odrYDYYhWbgp66-9rPJbmAlNatfdO6lTWx_sZUC1ZQ3LQb4zWSaTzvmhPkImi4J-2T2U/s320/220px-VirginiaWoolf.jpg" /></a></div><i>Yet it is the masculine values that prevail. Speaking crudely, football and sport are ‘important’; the worship of fashion, the buying of clothes ‘trivial’. And these values are inevitably transferred from life to fiction. This is an important book, the critic assumes, because it deals with war. This is an insignificant book because it deals with the feelings of women in a drawing-room. A scene in a battle-field is more important than a scene in a shop — everywhere and much more subtly the difference of value persists.
</i><p>
And this quote really sums up my issue with Whedon as a feminist. His buttkikcing blonde may have been a great first step – but since then he seems to have, in various ways, coasted and boasted. Were he committed to feminism, really committed to it, he would have to take the time to not only consider how to put women into the roles typically inhabited by men, but perhaps to valorize typically feminine attributes. How could he make a sex worker a compelling, dignified character without elevating her to an ambassador? How can he work on less masculine genres and give them the same dignity and nerd-cred that he’s gotten for his other works?<p>
Admitteldy, I am asking a lot of Whedon. But I ask it to him particularly because he truly does seem to want to be a feminist. In twenty years, you would think a feminist writer would have come across this Woolf quote. Or have picked up one of the hundreds of books of theory which try to push past simply the Strong Female Character. So much of writing is research and yet in his interviews and recent works, Whedon shows very little of his, if he’s even doing it.<p>
Of course, there’s always a more paranoid reading. That Whedon really is just branding himself as the Feminist Nerd Writer. It’s possible, and very possibly an aspect, intentionally or not, though even I’m inclined to think he’s being sincere. If so though, I’ll end this essay undercutting my own reading. In this age where feminism is becoming a dirty word, where we have less Leslie Gores singing against male ownership and more <a href="http://bitchmagazine.org/post/lady-gaga-im-not-a-feminist-i-hail-men-i-love-men">Lady Gagas</a> talking about worshipping men and avidly denying the label of feminism, maybe there’s something not entirely awful in even being willing to use feminism as a marketing strategy. Maybe it’s like the ads with same-sex couples in them: certainly a bit of a clever move to tug on the heartstrings of the liberals and get them to open their wallets…but I suppose it’s better than the alternative.<p>
And that’s the concession I’ll give Whedon. If nothing else, at least he thinks feminism can be a marketing strategy. And we could use more of that.
Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-46261995001670635962013-08-14T15:48:00.000-07:002013-08-15T09:06:34.056-07:00The Real Mystery is "Do I even care anymore?" (JJ Abrams, Tomorrowland, and Too-Coy Marketing)<b>Rant Prologue</b><p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIlMd4c4uAJ9BkJbZ2gs1tafRIRcATHrv5XMJYEnlVKEq5ri728c5dl2jU2hKxAWc_Eniy3P1Il0Hc-EgtAYo5PsYM-t_dlNmbNh0tXmVgVYFfiOpUWoDDlJqZfejzlt8uUGN1qYQh4Y0/s1600/something_weird_2_p_2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIlMd4c4uAJ9BkJbZ2gs1tafRIRcATHrv5XMJYEnlVKEq5ri728c5dl2jU2hKxAWc_Eniy3P1Il0Hc-EgtAYo5PsYM-t_dlNmbNh0tXmVgVYFfiOpUWoDDlJqZfejzlt8uUGN1qYQh4Y0/s320/something_weird_2_p_2013.jpg" /></a></div>
This past weekend, I was a good Disney Crazy and attended the D23 Expo in Anaheim. For those of you not in the know, this expo is essentially Comic Con-lite: booths, panels, costumes, and swag on everything Disney (of course, with the company’s ownership of Star Wars and Marvel, it has a decent amount of geek muscle in it by now). <p>
There were a few things I was looking forward to in the convention: <p>
1. The Animation Panel and seeing what Pixar had in store for us with their non-sequel movies as well as learning more about Frozen<p>
2. The Movie Panel and previewing Saving Mr. Banks as well as learning what the heck Tomorrowland is about<p>
3. Richard Sherman and Alan Mencken in concert<p>
4. The Imagineering Pavilion and learning what was on the slate for Imagineering now that Cars Land is a roaring success and all New Fantasyland needs is the finished Mine Cart ride.<p>
1 and 3 did not disappoint. Neither did the first half of 2. But then, there were the other parts….<P>
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Somehow, between the 20 minutes at the booth and the 10-15 minutes that Brad Bird and Damon Lindelof talked at the movie panel, I still have no freaking clue what Tomorrowland is about. Instead of, I dunno, showing concept art, talking about how they came up with the story, showing clips, or doing whatever it is that <i>every other film did</i> at the two panels, we were “treated” to an elaborate song and dance about how they found this box in the Disney studios morgue and it was full of stuff, and all the stuff was super secret and all filled with mysteries (photoshopped picture of Walt and Amelia Earheart), labyrinth under Small World, scratched up early laserdisc that showed a pastiche of 50s images of the future, etc.). For those of you not following Tomorrowlnad, this mystery box and its mysterious contents have been all we’ve been hearing about the film since the beginning of this year. There also has been some type of “alternate reality game” involving somebody blogging about her father, but who has time for that? (More on that later) <p>
Eventually, there was also a booth which was mysteriously guarded in a blue tarp and wasn’t revealed till halfway through the convention (which meant hellish lines afterwards). The booth contained an exhibition of “random” artifacts from the box. To tour the booth, you needed to rent an iPad and carry it about as it gave you an audio tour, spending about three minutes on each object. If you took your time at the booth, it could easily take over half an hour…after waiting an hour on line (needless to say, the overly complex nature of this booth made it far more time intensive and with far longer lines than your average movie booth). <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqfF-wIQmz_7pjPOJm8_3lhf2q4DK-EIKJtVGxLN540wQzOQBMGRlteKt-7SmC__V5akylkd0JK9lF69VT_XX-MTu9p5BQRIJdgQp2IfULAUzLRqDnuw52GMj7k5fRjcjSJHm75RC-Qo/s1600/DSC08500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqfF-wIQmz_7pjPOJm8_3lhf2q4DK-EIKJtVGxLN540wQzOQBMGRlteKt-7SmC__V5akylkd0JK9lF69VT_XX-MTu9p5BQRIJdgQp2IfULAUzLRqDnuw52GMj7k5fRjcjSJHm75RC-Qo/s320/DSC08500.jpg" /></a></div><p>
And throughout all of this, you still would not know what the movie was about. Is it a mockumentary about espionage and such during the World’s Fair? Is it a sci-fi time travel film? Is it a period piece? Will Walt be in it or has Tom Hanks filled our "people playing Walt" quota for the decade? Who knows…<p>
Meanwhile, Imagineering’s exhibit seemed mostly like a retrospective on their techniques and accomplishements. Except for three things. <p>
1. Cartons saying “Orange Harvest” out of which R2-D2 broke out, wearing a castmember badge.<p>
2. A booth that seemed to be on Animal Kingdom but, according to some reports, actually had stuff on Avatarland.<p>
3. If you asked to “see something weird” you would receive the poster shown at the top of this post.<p>
Orange Harvest is the least egregious of these offenders, almost to be a non-offender. Its placement was obvious, its message clear and already building off prominent rumors. Star Wars Land is in the works. But the other two, combined with the marketing of Tomorrowland, provide the subject of this rant.<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8IfMaweNAvn_BxGwHl6CyzlTbMpfIi3SqG25BH7j_AZs4E9zqu_Mt4ghiNLLtCUuiIZad62gAs7aWbk5hJaupxErM7w1F-UpuIj7XI54G9ySuuKna564QCOblmBpUJ1KuHfqTfFYPVso/s1600/DSC08103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8IfMaweNAvn_BxGwHl6CyzlTbMpfIi3SqG25BH7j_AZs4E9zqu_Mt4ghiNLLtCUuiIZad62gAs7aWbk5hJaupxErM7w1F-UpuIj7XI54G9ySuuKna564QCOblmBpUJ1KuHfqTfFYPVso/s320/DSC08103.JPG" /></a></div><p>
<b>Rant Proper
</b><p>
I knew a gal once who would be prone to saying things like this: “Oh I know a story, but it’s so dirty, I really shouldn’t tell it!” After which, naturally, she would wait for people to beg her to tell it. It was a simple, desperate attempt for attention, to make the story seem more interesting than it probably was. And the worst thing you could do was say “Well, if you don’t want to tell it, let’s move on, shall we?”<p>
For years, a marketing trend has gained steamed among Hollywood, thanks mainly to JJ Abrams and his cronies (of which Lindelof is one) that resembles this young woman’s storytelling technique. It asks fans to beg the filmmakers for more information, to do an intense amount of research and devote far too many hours to what is ultimately a wild goose chase, where the most "fans" (and I use this term loosely) can do is speculate, guess, and beg the filmmakers for another labyrinth…all the while having to deal with the creators not giving them even the most basic of information (genre, premise, characters).<p>
As I said, JJ Abrams with Cloverfield and Super 8 is, if not the main culprit, certainly the personification of this problem. He even inexplicably remained coy about the villain of the second Star Trek film even though everyone had already guessed it. Some think that this coyness is exactly what led Into the Darkness to underperform at the box office (after all, we all know the primary antagonist for our average summer blockbuster). Either way, I think it’s time that we tell Abrams and his ilk that we’re changing the conversation?<p>
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Why does this bug me? <p>
It assumes I’m a fan and that I care enough to do the marketers work for them. As I said, Tomorrowland is expecting more time from its fans than the length of the movie itself. Similarly, Disney Imagineering was attempting to put me on a quest that would put that for all Hidden Mickeys to shame. Quite frankly, you need to earn it. I don’t watch the DVD extras before I watch the movie. That’s ridiculous. Why should I devote hours of my time immersing myself in a world before I even know if I like this world…hell, to even find out what this world is? Ultimately at the end of the day, while “Shut up and take my money” is an ideal situation for an entertainment company to be in, they should not assume that will be the case. They should be trying to sell me on paying fifteen bucks to see Tomorrowland at the multiplex, not hoping that I will be so intrigued with so little that I will be begging them to take fifteen bucks so I can learn the secret to an obtuse mystery. I don’t have time to do this research, and quite frankly, if you can’t tell me what your movie is even about, there are a lot of other movies for me to choose from. <a href=" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okGV3jf9qRc">Come on JJ Abrams/David Lindelof…some of us have work in the morning.</a><p>
Not all mysteries are created equal. Were I to post a blog entry and say, “This next blog entry is about something” I really shouldn’t expect to become an overnight sensation. And were I to, it wouldn’t be earned. What I worry about Tomorrowland, about the fact that it is so incredibly vague, is that the mystery will overpower the story. Super 8, after all (despite the praise it got), was nothing more than <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWYfx-twAAx02hyphenhyphen3vjZb2k343kJ56PtM8rvaAPk2Ff_AdWSRnD2L8ZAGOGApfDIMQ6LyY9fK-6uYnTYL4jKCIlkvHcQFsWaSgw0oobII5PXA21OiiIm7jlRELNUOccZcEUpEEqJLRks5o/s1600/DSC08501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWYfx-twAAx02hyphenhyphen3vjZb2k343kJ56PtM8rvaAPk2Ff_AdWSRnD2L8ZAGOGApfDIMQ6LyY9fK-6uYnTYL4jKCIlkvHcQFsWaSgw0oobII5PXA21OiiIm7jlRELNUOccZcEUpEEqJLRks5o/s320/DSC08501.jpg" /></a></div>
a cheap mashup of ET and Stand By Me. It might have razzle-dazzled some people who were just so happy to solve the mystery of “What’s this movie about?” but ultimately, the film feels hollow and now that the secret's out, will probably not stand the test of time. Similarly, Tomorrowland’s marketing has me less likely to be dying to see this film than I was when the title and creative team were first announced. Similarly, my reaction to the Imagineering poster was not the salivation I had upon viewing each sketch of Cars Land, but something more akin to “What is this shit?”<p>
Of course, this is not to say that there aren’t right ways to do this marketing. After all, everything in moderation…<p>
Not all speculation is bad, but you need to earn it. Obviously, theories about the last Harry Potter books were rampant the second people would finish the latest one. But why is this different than Tomorrowland or Cloverfield? Because Harry Potter as a property had earned the time people would devote to it. It did not expect virgin – nay, potential – fans to act like diehards. Furthermore, the genre/general narrative had already been established (I knew what I was getting into more or less with each HP book) and any questions actually posed by the author for fans to speculate on were relatively straightforward (What is the Goblet of Fire? Who will die in this book?), not overly ambiguous like “Here’s a magazine from the 20s! Here’s a poem that you can get from random words in this magazine! What does it mean?!” (yes, that did happen with Tomorrowland).<p>
I’m not asking for a trailer to give everything away, but I am asking to know what I’m getting into. Marketing is supposed to make you want something, not give you all of it, nor assume you already want it.<p>
Extra world building for those who care is fine. Days of the Future <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYHvu6_6j-B_gVY01pMTCmUqegH7dxY4kKNqMdWrozSwNyxLit6yMRiWd_L0Yw2ySbvtaJ17NhRddB7W3Ln1ASdo_U6HjNzuXS6r26VPhmhp8a3mKi1fEoTgHVxxuZjrYPuuAFRf9wNyQ/s1600/trask_industries_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYHvu6_6j-B_gVY01pMTCmUqegH7dxY4kKNqMdWrozSwNyxLit6yMRiWd_L0Yw2ySbvtaJ17NhRddB7W3Ln1ASdo_U6HjNzuXS6r26VPhmhp8a3mKi1fEoTgHVxxuZjrYPuuAFRf9wNyQ/s320/trask_industries_3.jpg" /></a></div>Past already has a website up for Trask Industries, the company that makes the Sentinels. Even with my “You have to earn it” out of the way, this technique is fine even before a trailer because anyone with Google can immediately find out the general jist of the movie. It’s based off one of the most famous and beloved X-Men stories of all time and probably won’t stray too far from the basic premise. Anything that may want to hide in the recesses of a website then is gravy.<p>
You can have a little bit of a bait-and-switch (like Tomorrowland is doing with the mystery box), but the gag gets old fast. Disney also did this strategy better at D23 with the short “Get a Horse!” For the week or so beforehand, D23 was touting this short as a recovered 1928 Mickey Mouse short. They even brought it out to the animation <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSdfGmtiqadFwR3z1rdh2suiIHesKm2RkYXlk40jQPq16CinGeVItzSBU9WmMPKgo42k5qcN_Xu0x3CWn-a2wbUSuRLy7v-N2rA1iNtZAyT3DsO5QnxjJX6EJ_jCMx1btreqZZlWHdDPM/s1600/DSC08211.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSdfGmtiqadFwR3z1rdh2suiIHesKm2RkYXlk40jQPq16CinGeVItzSBU9WmMPKgo42k5qcN_Xu0x3CWn-a2wbUSuRLy7v-N2rA1iNtZAyT3DsO5QnxjJX6EJ_jCMx1btreqZZlWHdDPM/s320/DSC08211.jpg" /></a></div> panel with the director dressed as and pretending to be a film historian. Of couse, very soon it became obvious what the truth was. Why did this work? Because it did not leave too much time for speculation and frustration. It was a week or two until the payoff. Furthermore, there was actually no perceived mystery. Whereas we all know by now that Tomorrowland isn’t actually about the F&#!ing Box (which I think I may henceforth call it), Get a Horse easily could have just been a recoverd short for the lack of pomp around it. Tomorrowland, meanwhile, has been dragging out the pretense of the F&#!ing Box for eight months and, honestly, I would not be surprised if they do so for the next year.<p>
Call me old fashioned, but in the age of viral marketing, transmedia, and so forth, I still want there at the end of the day to be a basic advertisement at the heart. What is the movie about and why the hell should I give you any of my money to see it? If you can’t answer that, well then, I’ll just change the conversation.<p>
EDIT: I just realized that the photo makes it look like Photography is Permitted in the Tomorrowland booth. There was a no in front...my fat thumb was just blocking it.
Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-11431783373296880722013-07-30T11:16:00.001-07:002013-07-30T11:19:31.062-07:00Diversifying Your (Artist's) Portfolio aka My Gay Spider-Man Entry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoTzhU9vZGP1PpMx8q9XZB1N8GpOKq7K9f2DuPsug9ZMqGL_Oidk1JiG3Dd1FFUvBofIkdggNVF1CPoAvexlXBAdfX7qCV_eSiFChf0tCevOYUKXUDhreftt9_EvFJSIu5774b42XNkBw/s1600/062812-andrew-garfield-spider-man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoTzhU9vZGP1PpMx8q9XZB1N8GpOKq7K9f2DuPsug9ZMqGL_Oidk1JiG3Dd1FFUvBofIkdggNVF1CPoAvexlXBAdfX7qCV_eSiFChf0tCevOYUKXUDhreftt9_EvFJSIu5774b42XNkBw/s320/062812-andrew-garfield-spider-man.jpg" /></a></div><i>Spider-Man, Spider-Man<p>
Does it with either gal or man <p>
Not restrained by gender <p>
Unlike the author of Ender <p>
Look out! Here comes queer Spider-Man!</i><p>
Recently, Andrew Garfield made pseudo headlines by intimating that Mary Jane (or MJ) could be a dude for the next Spider-Man film and that Peter could be moving a few spots up on the Kinsey scale. As is to be expected, there were unhappy fanboys. And happy gays. And once more, the internet was at war. Ultimately, Garfield declared that, despite his wishes, there would be no queer Spidey, but people are still talking.<p>
Ultimately, as a gay fanboy and someone who thinks about representation politics far more than the average Joe or Jane, I have mixed feelings about Garfield's ruminations. On one hand, I acknowledge that someone needs to intervene on comic book canon if we are to have anything slightly resembling diversity. Let's face facts: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRWSgIYYQROJnkf8zm0-mO2MAMTB6ykmWpZ29Rw2QRdcccgwiSbimXuTUXLIbvGcQhPHvaPkMe9GvP2Dqf9jSTy2R1ncpLRUgF8t8jJ7pGrt9G8eXeTjSrqxLlYTprXkcqQoCqc3vlQsE/s1600/Old+JLA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRWSgIYYQROJnkf8zm0-mO2MAMTB6ykmWpZ29Rw2QRdcccgwiSbimXuTUXLIbvGcQhPHvaPkMe9GvP2Dqf9jSTy2R1ncpLRUgF8t8jJ7pGrt9G8eXeTjSrqxLlYTprXkcqQoCqc3vlQsE/s320/Old+JLA.jpg" /></a></div>there have been VERY few iconic characters who emerged after the 60s (the All-New, All-Different X-Men, Venom, and Harley Quinn are the first ones that come to mind). What that means is that most of the staples for superhero movies originated in a time where heroes were predominantly white men and (with the exception of 40s Wonder Woman and, if Dr. Wertham is to be believed, Batman and Robin) heterosexual (not to mention cisgendered). If no one intervenes, we are stuck with endless blockbusters with the diversity of 50s entertainment. Think of superhero movies up until now. Gays are non-existant and women and characters of color are often relegated to the sidelines (Lucius Fox, Pepper Potts, etc) or there's one-per-team rule (Nick Fury and Black Widow). Admittedly, the X-Men films have MUCH better gender stats, but again, that's because they draw heavily from characters which emerged in the 70s and 80s.<p>
On the other hand, Peter Parker is very straight. In fact, he may be the straightest of superheroes. Spider-Man was the super-hero comic most defined by romantic woes - possibly the first major superhero one to focus so intently on <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKWp7SYYl6UdmJpK5WTzAiqlVIEFwS5XAs1KUEXJ-4wXZ5oZP_-DXCjcK4hjZmMef1BOasMGRE59z8yQRPtq1-R5dimiHiHvsxdL_tRi-_lHc7gAe_vdwoYSE8t6onMxsgtAp0MRAfTRc/s1600/Spidey+Blue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKWp7SYYl6UdmJpK5WTzAiqlVIEFwS5XAs1KUEXJ-4wXZ5oZP_-DXCjcK4hjZmMef1BOasMGRE59z8yQRPtq1-R5dimiHiHvsxdL_tRi-_lHc7gAe_vdwoYSE8t6onMxsgtAp0MRAfTRc/s320/Spidey+Blue.jpg" /></a></div>them. Of course, gays have romantic woes...but is being a gay teen the same as being a straight one? Is thinking we can just make Mary Jane into a guy risking universalizing the queer experience? We may live in the age of <i>Glee</i> and <i>Modern Family</i> and I'm sure things are different than when I was in high school, but I still think some things will be the same. Sure, Peter would be bullied as much as he always was, but were he queer and (more importantly) out, his bullying would probably be less likely to make him romantically unappealing to other guys (who would also be bullied) instead of how it's been so far, where he just looked weak to girls. Also, Peter would be more experienced with having secrets and a double life (even if he was out by the time he was bitten) - being Spider-Man would not equal the first time he had to have barriers between him and Aunt May. <p>
In short, diversity is never as simple as "Just add queerness/lady parts/color." Being a minority often <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd5NKYSJ2Ud_R0eJ_hkCR4EQJgHdazkisL2yP85y4N9LnRB3R05bYLJtnhzxSTOf5D_-9b2iTKV3th9ydVBVehkPu8b7c_gEppexB6Sxjp_URDoRYuBALizu5Q-7KYizQoaZpjPS3L4xc/s1600/Rainbow.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd5NKYSJ2Ud_R0eJ_hkCR4EQJgHdazkisL2yP85y4N9LnRB3R05bYLJtnhzxSTOf5D_-9b2iTKV3th9ydVBVehkPu8b7c_gEppexB6Sxjp_URDoRYuBALizu5Q-7KYizQoaZpjPS3L4xc/s320/Rainbow.gif" /></a></div>
entails a different experience and outlook and that should be incorporated in the character. Batman, for example, might be a great bisexual character. Bruce Wayne always wants to be dominating the headlines as luxurious and decadent - sexually fluidity might help that...and also maybe make Bruce seem more effete so no one suspects he's the uber-macho Batman. In short, some characters can be changed...and some may have a harder time. <p>
Who cannot (without changing the character substantially)? I'd say, for starters, Captain America, Superman, and Thor, as far as gender and race goes...perhaps sexuality as well. [note of course, that there CAN be a variation on any of these characters...as long as the author is aware that they may be severely changing the mythos or some of the central character conceits]<p>
Why? Well, for Cap, we need to consider that 1940s America would never choose a racial minority to be their icon, and that Rosie the Riveter occupied a very different spot from Uncle Sam. It'd be a white-washed history if we were to make the US government color-blind. Also...we'd lose something I always love: the irony that Cap is actually the embodiment of Hitler's Master Race.<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZnry58JAgbEqEHrTVkWp1WpxeXO09ShN_KHbRUMVgR6dkNdZZP4sp4KzXIIzcJI78sSFKDHyx6iBDzHhYSNjWhynxI_Ri9ZKGfvGV4hiDdszjeDza9z_d1LP8p9X5mKhxG4W766Okdng/s1600/Captain_America___TRUTH_by_northchavis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZnry58JAgbEqEHrTVkWp1WpxeXO09ShN_KHbRUMVgR6dkNdZZP4sp4KzXIIzcJI78sSFKDHyx6iBDzHhYSNjWhynxI_Ri9ZKGfvGV4hiDdszjeDza9z_d1LP8p9X5mKhxG4W766Okdng/s320/Captain_America___TRUTH_by_northchavis.jpg" /></a></div>
[Granted, there is a black "Captain America" story - and an excellent one at that (Truth by Robert Morales and Kyle Baker) - but anyone who has read it knows it's not your typical Captain America story (i.e. get powers, represent the US, defeat Nazis).]<p>
Superman is a similar story. He's the beloved of Metropolis, of everyone. Quite frankly, were a woman or a person of color to have that much power, the sad reality is that there would be more suspicion. Lex Luthor would be the norm...not the exception. Is this an interesting story here? Definitely - one that interrogate certain attitudes on race and gender and the foundations of the Superman mythos. But it's not a classic Superman story - and one that might be tougher to sell as the major, mainstream representation of the character for the decade. [However, apparently Man of Steel ends on this note, so maybe this is a moot point.] Also, I would say Lois Lane is so key here that I'd be hesistant to make Clark anything but straight.<p>
As for Thor...yeah, I suppose he should look very Norse. And still be a dude. I'll give some precedence to mythology. Of course, Asgard isn't only white in the movie, so again, maybe a moot point. <p>
But that leaves us LOTS of characters. And major ones at that. <p>
A common retort though would be that fans don't want movies tampering with the characters. Hawkeye is a white guy - to make him an Indian woman or a Chicano trans-man would make him not Hawkeye. He's Clint Barton. Fandom has not been overly quick to accept these types of changes - the lukewarm reception of the Latino Blue Beetle and the now-dead Asian Atom attest to that. In short, some may ask why do Hollywood and the PC police need to mess with things? <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRusTXKk2HDqzm-DWgerRJvPlHWRHjbvGaIuKnmnKED9q2Iyp8M_AXXfnrs8Al78ZsITHswGfSCO4BA6hDQoi8OHAUvZuFqnhM9b16JvWoov1TdE-nIzmsxlCfpljCLjn1ttZeK1OzC2k/s1600/Blue_Beetle_Jaime_Reyes_012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRusTXKk2HDqzm-DWgerRJvPlHWRHjbvGaIuKnmnKED9q2Iyp8M_AXXfnrs8Al78ZsITHswGfSCO4BA6hDQoi8OHAUvZuFqnhM9b16JvWoov1TdE-nIzmsxlCfpljCLjn1ttZeK1OzC2k/s320/Blue_Beetle_Jaime_Reyes_012.jpg" /></a></div><p>
The reality is that Hollywood messes with things all the time (to the point that, all my prior exceptions are loose at best). Joker in <i>Dark Knight</i> no longer had an acid-changed face but wore makeup (and thus Batman's creation of Joker was lost). Jarvis is no longer a butler but a computer program. Rogue's big crush is Iceman, not Gambit. And so forth. <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ZQmwQ_FoKdb1OmNBveYqd0ut9b6Q-Qu6yiGzxcGsWPrDopXBVTfRxeXmh3B5UXakS7BPLqy-CN0dDi6RMksM16XU-0gfQHGdBpn92u4-h_00HvOb2rQN1CrmGOGXtJ_oicnSFQ9E22U/s1600/carrie_kelley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ZQmwQ_FoKdb1OmNBveYqd0ut9b6Q-Qu6yiGzxcGsWPrDopXBVTfRxeXmh3B5UXakS7BPLqy-CN0dDi6RMksM16XU-0gfQHGdBpn92u4-h_00HvOb2rQN1CrmGOGXtJ_oicnSFQ9E22U/s320/carrie_kelley.jpg" /></a></div>Meanwhile in comics, there sometimes is not even an iconic iteration of a character. Is the definitive Flash Barry Allen or Wally West (or Jay Garrick or Bart Allen)? How about Robin: Dick Grayson or Tim Drake? In fact, we've seen Robin change genders in The Dark Knight Returns and briefly in the comics when Spoiler took over the role. Same could be said for Jon Stewart, though he often pales to the love for Hal Jordan or Kyle Rayner (but we'll soon get to why Stewart is 1000 varieties of awesome). Psylocke has managed to turn from British to Japanese without even changing her being Betsy Braddock! So maybe comic fans may be more pliable than they or others may think.<p>
[Admittedly, part of this could point to an inherent racism/sexism/heterosexism/cisgenderism in certain areas of fandom, similar to that of the "Rue backlash" from The Hunger Games, that accept certain changes but short circuit at those of identity - particularly of major characters. But I don't want to push that argument just yet. I'll give those areas time to prove me wrong.]<p>
[<i>Also</i> I should probably note that a lot of this problem stems from unconscious chauvinism - basically "write what you know." As one brave fangirl dressed as Batgirl pointed out at Comic Con in 2011 to many DC panelists, the comic world is a boy's club. Particularly, it's a straight white boy's club, despite our occasional Phil Jimenezes and Gail Simones.] <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijfYCbneZ-i7_JOdmH27eP1jV2Y82m-6JKfz_JdgQOu9KFiKAB5ktwq1347OQLn_4CvERYV-6LHkh34M1I7xKUpyFISd92wNdyl56LtkrNvlNCt7WVXxDQWBKhafDzlT1U7KyoTP9hPUU/s1600/Nick+Fury+616.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijfYCbneZ-i7_JOdmH27eP1jV2Y82m-6JKfz_JdgQOu9KFiKAB5ktwq1347OQLn_4CvERYV-6LHkh34M1I7xKUpyFISd92wNdyl56LtkrNvlNCt7WVXxDQWBKhafDzlT1U7KyoTP9hPUU/s320/Nick+Fury+616.jpg" /></a></div>Furthermore, this has already been done, and successfully, in comics. The only reason Nick Fury is played by Samuel L Jackson in the Marvel movies is because Mark Millar and Bryan HItch reimagined him as a black man (who looked remarkably like SLJ) in the Ultimate Universe. Similarly, Wasp (sadly absent from the film <i>Avengers</i>) became Asian and Colossus turned gay. J Michael Straczynski's Supreme Power changes the old Squadron Supreme to essentially give us a tale of a Justice League<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibdVzzvc0S2j_V5VuSR1JXwsmIQu0Wr1M9w5qd0Lgf0sGhX9k2EtXSS16V2Gv8Pzc6_ia0Z4vTmU16UDH5g1zk_L8-fUJ75UEwtjmsd7QIeTHlfNxAAIK41HgPHN9gApNVYBk2OxyZYys/s1600/nighthawk21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibdVzzvc0S2j_V5VuSR1JXwsmIQu0Wr1M9w5qd0Lgf0sGhX9k2EtXSS16V2Gv8Pzc6_ia0Z4vTmU16UDH5g1zk_L8-fUJ75UEwtjmsd7QIeTHlfNxAAIK41HgPHN9gApNVYBk2OxyZYys/s320/nighthawk21.jpg" /></a></div> wherein Batman and Flash are black...and race is very much foregrounded. This choice was perfect for a retelling of Justice League that was meant to be darker and more realistic. In a series that did not shy away from the government realities in a superhero team, it only would make sense that the racial realities and tensions of superheroes should be considered. The DC Animated Universe's Justice League chose the lesser-known John Stewart (over Hal Jordan or Kyle Rayner) as Green Lantern and threw in the double wildcard of Hawkgirl - not only avoiding one of the more famous members, but even choosing her over her "man" counterpart. Stewart's race/class background and Hawkgirl's defiance of gender expectations helped make these characters arguably the two most interesting ones in the Justice League series. And Batwoman has finally returned to the DCU - now a lesbian. Diversity is not only good for politics and morality - it's good for storytelling.<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie-ybtwqE57kXa88uvd-5F3r-9J5G-OklL0mCVAjjb-H1Pj5_DGU3pZPcVgf3Zp09USa8W8C_yD_L_9XW3AfvyR-KvYctU_BssOZMMqsF8RrUrfwpvkEsZTzqTTeXjzNHSXYDEAcMD3Pg/s1600/whizzer1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie-ybtwqE57kXa88uvd-5F3r-9J5G-OklL0mCVAjjb-H1Pj5_DGU3pZPcVgf3Zp09USa8W8C_yD_L_9XW3AfvyR-KvYctU_BssOZMMqsF8RrUrfwpvkEsZTzqTTeXjzNHSXYDEAcMD3Pg/s320/whizzer1.gif" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx0dhAsoEIn9BJHj6baxsZwAROdtZfqoUtMlmeMFNV5CJEM04NzBKfGEkIePkONd3WLeFrCRZyKxZN0W-Vf56IBeyRJEjAWiK0_dIxPawgG-22_q9F3rHnMRgyXtSsYhrGz9v6PdIPdic/s1600/blur.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx0dhAsoEIn9BJHj6baxsZwAROdtZfqoUtMlmeMFNV5CJEM04NzBKfGEkIePkONd3WLeFrCRZyKxZN0W-Vf56IBeyRJEjAWiK0_dIxPawgG-22_q9F3rHnMRgyXtSsYhrGz9v6PdIPdic/s320/blur.jpg" /></a></div><p>
[Of course, writing this made me realize how the transgendered comic fans are still being incredibly ignored in superhero representation. So my apologies for being unable to think of any mainstream success stories on that front.]<p>
In short, if a Justice League movie comes out of the upcoming Batman/Superman film, perhaps it should have a Wonder Woman who looks more like she came from a Mediterranean Island or a Flash who looks less like the typical Wally West/Barry Allen. But also, we need to not only ask "which character can be less straight/white/male/cisgendered," but also why this character should be so and what narrative potentials are possible. Garfield is making a start of this, and I applaud him for not taking comic history as canon, but his comments do not seem to fully consider both the reality and the narrative impact of making Peter queer. Comic characters' identities should shift for diversity, but this diversity should be more than just an accoutrement or a selling point. The diversity <i>should</i> be diversity, not a universalization of such diversity.<p>Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-5486036211512054192013-07-24T16:04:00.000-07:002013-07-24T16:04:44.773-07:00Post-Frozen Disney: A Disheartening ProspectHello Pop Culture Gone Bad Fans!<p>
It's been a while, hasn't it? But I, like King Arthur, Jean Grey, and Grover <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbX-f3eu1VT86MIWMY1u8bJdZrbK_IBHen8HacaMpwkLCbhPFicuBeow3GCnJ0RX7GwZ8hRiVoI1Y7phICmfx8nEjS52bQc5heyZpGcOMp32DKvPPv0HWUa4qmrlniBXL9VQri_9AdORE/s1600/Transformation-Scene-beauty-and-the-beast-17161844-720-480.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbX-f3eu1VT86MIWMY1u8bJdZrbK_IBHen8HacaMpwkLCbhPFicuBeow3GCnJ0RX7GwZ8hRiVoI1Y7phICmfx8nEjS52bQc5heyZpGcOMp32DKvPPv0HWUa4qmrlniBXL9VQri_9AdORE/s320/Transformation-Scene-beauty-and-the-beast-17161844-720-480.jpg" /></a></div>Cleveland, have returned! And instead of ruminating on my absence, why not delve into another pop culture staple, which is almost by this point distinguished by its waxing and waning.....<p>
<i>“All of this has happened before, and it will all happen again.” ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan.
</i><p>
Over the past two years, in an attempt to give myself time off from my graduate studies but still assure my grad student brain that I was being productive, I underwent another movie-watching mission (afficinados of this blog will remember the first one in <a href="http://popgonebad.blogspot.com/2010/04/kane-mission.html">The Kane Mission</a>). This time, I watched all 52 animated Disney movies (as well as all the Pixar ones, but they’re not too important for the purposes of this entry). <p>
What I noticed over this mission is that Disney undergoes cycles of quality. There is, roughly every generation, a period of <b>amazing, highly praised films</b> (usually with a misstep in the midst), one following which consists of <b>decent films</b> that have their fans, their diehards, their haters, and their meh-ers, and then just a period of <b>god-awful</b>. Furthermore, usually this period of quality is <b>prefaced by a film or two </b>that isn’t as good as the high points of this renaissance, but certainly better than the schlock that preceded it.<p>
And all of this should have us very worried for what film comes after <i>Frozen</i>.<p>
Let’s take a look, shall we?<p>
<b>Period 1: <p>
</b><b>Classics</b>: <i>Snow White, Pinocchio, Fantasia, Dumbo, Bambi</i>. Even though I honestly can’t stand Bambi, I’m trying to leave my own personal taste out of this asmuch as possible. <p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi30kGjId27GbHuYEHp5HYjbf29_udOKwCh9C0IYGTUuZkwoBCkaU3VTApDTsfsqjGwLYlYs2hyphenhyphentbzeMe4a5yapStIYXb1tewzCNcCcqxphkjVgrXd2HDMOxNFrCCUnSKYrpYOtVonjIBc/s1600/meldoy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi30kGjId27GbHuYEHp5HYjbf29_udOKwCh9C0IYGTUuZkwoBCkaU3VTApDTsfsqjGwLYlYs2hyphenhyphentbzeMe4a5yapStIYXb1tewzCNcCcqxphkjVgrXd2HDMOxNFrCCUnSKYrpYOtVonjIBc/s320/meldoy.jpg" /></a></div><b>Decent films</b>: The South America ones, i.e. <i>Saludos Amigos</i> and especially <i>Three Caballeros</i> (really, it’s the only film people know from the 40s after <i>Bambi</i>)<p>
<b>Forgotten failures</b>: <i>Make Mine Music</i> (again I’m a fan of this one, but let’s be real here), <i>Fun and Fancy Free, Melody Time</i><p>
<b>Period 2:<p>
Preface:</b> <i>Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad </i>(not a full-on classic, but definitely has more a seat at the Disney table than <i>Melody Time</i>)<p>
<b>Classics: </b><i>Cinderella, Alice in Wonderland</i> (arguably the misstep of this period as it was a critical and commercial flop), <i>Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, Sleeping Beauty, 101 Dalmatians</i>. Admittedly, some would put these last two in the decent category, but I’m in charge of this list and allowed my little power trips.<p>
<b>Decent films:</b> <i>Sword in the Stone </i>(actually - as with many of the divisive films of the late 90s - there’s no middle ground on this film…people either have it as a continuation of the classics or something akin to shoving a hot coal covered in vinegar in an open wound), <i>Jungle Book, Aristocats, Robin Hood, Winnie the Pooh, The Rescuers</i><p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxfGCsyVQFApXcXFW1tL8LTttcA2nEDeLPznr6egbUPcEMek2Uw4ZeJEEIybLd4a2ovn-tIr1SsiZAJUgGygso3PQHC1qVC9O9SfaUqy-778Khbsf8gpA0WkZyQR6sfGHenU5hOWgSwiI/s1600/Sword+in+Stone+squirrels.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxfGCsyVQFApXcXFW1tL8LTttcA2nEDeLPznr6egbUPcEMek2Uw4ZeJEEIybLd4a2ovn-tIr1SsiZAJUgGygso3PQHC1qVC9O9SfaUqy-778Khbsf8gpA0WkZyQR6sfGHenU5hOWgSwiI/s320/Sword+in+Stone+squirrels.jpg" /></a></div>
<b>Forgotten Failures: </b><i>Fox and the Hound, Black Cauldron</i>. This may seem like a small period, but it actually lasted almost ten years. The lack of animated features in general could be construed as its own aspect of the dark period. Also,<i> The Rescuers </i>may have been a hit at the time and even have gotten a sequel, but it has more or less lost its place in Disney history by now.<p>
<b>Period 3: <p>
Preface:</b> <i>Great Mouse Detective, Oliver and Company</i><p>
<b>Classics:</b> <i>Little Mermaid, Rescuers Down Under</i> (Misstep),<i> Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Lion King</i> – duh.<p>
<b>Decent films: </b><i>Pocahontas, Hunchback, Hercules, Mulan, Tarzan. </i> All of these films are fiercely debated. They all have their haters, as well as their fans who think they’re terribly underrated. My theory on this lot is no one likes all five. At most, you like two…maybe three. And you viciously hate at least one of them. <p>
<b>REALLY murky area of decent or forgotten:</b> <i>Fantasia 2000, Dinosaur </i>(well, everyone hates this one), <i>Emperor’s New Groove, Atlantis </i>(surprisingly, this has its fans. I blame Joss Whedon),<i> Lilo and Stitch</i> (mainly because Disney has done all it can to shove Stitch down our throats)<p>
Forgotten Failures: Oh this list is fun…<i>Treasure Planet, Brother Bear, Home on the Range, Chicken Little, Meet the Robinsons</i>. Man, it’s like listing horcruxes.<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyjvlDtobBicrAjLkW7wOSE22w7-RmdI_yjsf39a8N6MahGn5RFQbWtOIGobul-ey1Me68f40kKw5DQNFk8GgYiFZYFLdBN2DMXkkGoTn6Jb75eteuOH2px_EdHAHp-YSlKBfvNyPV1kc/s1600/i-yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyjvlDtobBicrAjLkW7wOSE22w7-RmdI_yjsf39a8N6MahGn5RFQbWtOIGobul-ey1Me68f40kKw5DQNFk8GgYiFZYFLdBN2DMXkkGoTn6Jb75eteuOH2px_EdHAHp-YSlKBfvNyPV1kc/s320/i-yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle.jpg" /></a></div><p>
We are now in Period 4. And it looks a lot like period 3.<p>
We have our preface, <i>Bolt</i>, which like <i>Great Mouse Detective</i> (or <i>Oliver and Company</i>, if you’re a fan of that) is a cute talking animal film that’s far better than you expect it to be but isn’t the huge hit or inducted into Disney canon as quickly as what will follow it.<p>
We have our Princess Fairy Tale musical (after a period of non or less musical films that often take place more in current – or future – time and are less reliant on old classic fairy tales) that really garners attention from the mainstream public back to Disney Animation: <i>Little Mermaid</i>, meet <i>the Princess and the Frog</i>.<p>
We have our second Princess Fairy Tale music that pretty much follows all the rules of its predecessor to equal or slightly greater/lesser success. Don’t let the Oscars fool you: the debates over <i>Little Mermaid</i> vs. <i>Beauty and the Beast</i> are as fierce as those over <i>Princess and the Frog</i> vs. <i>Tangled</i>.<p>
We have our more boy-centric, more adventurey film: <i>Aladdin</i> and <i>Wreck-It Ralph</i>.<p>
We even have an animal-centric, sequel misstep that’s a complete flop in the midst of this renaissance: <i>Winnie the Pooh</i> plays the role of <i>Rescuers Down Under</i>.<p>
And now we have Frozen. Reports on Frozen thus far have been mixed. I’d actually be less optimistic if I wasn’t convinced it will be <i>The Lion King </i>of this period. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIqZ-yOoy6kKVCWzD3Rs5SMWrZtHVjmKonc_eZS0K5uO8vG89coaKUNJFPWmhDg0JUcB9OTKx_7sMowUhXyje5TAzKqWM83_bfGLK1A5VoPYvawPOTyRPK9N-eCl2QiIADV0e6rhWUE2o/s1600/frozen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIqZ-yOoy6kKVCWzD3Rs5SMWrZtHVjmKonc_eZS0K5uO8vG89coaKUNJFPWmhDg0JUcB9OTKx_7sMowUhXyje5TAzKqWM83_bfGLK1A5VoPYvawPOTyRPK9N-eCl2QiIADV0e6rhWUE2o/s320/frozen.jpg" /></a></div> But I could be wrong. It could be <i>Pocahontas</i>: a Princessy story…that’s really isn’t exactly right. But even if it is <i>The Lion King</i> of this period…that means <i>Pocahontas</i> is next. We have nowhere to go but down right now.<p>
So what do you guys think? Am I just superstitious? Or are you ready to just hunker down for the next decade or so until another fairytale finally stumbles our way?
Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-14522574614162379002011-07-17T16:06:00.000-07:002011-07-17T16:42:02.416-07:00Harry Potter and the Unsettling Omissions<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOGYBp1go_jBUxP80JBC8Vm1bAPUocjUBOHUMD_HrRBEildBAF8xtFx5izNYms5pd808uHh0m8DXusahwEq3bfvhtBmgS4HtUEVr0LjnCSagKNhfxh0jN_iRE2Ax4N_wblPfU9yyQ1C7M/s1600/harry-potter-deathly-hallows-part-2-poster.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 217px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOGYBp1go_jBUxP80JBC8Vm1bAPUocjUBOHUMD_HrRBEildBAF8xtFx5izNYms5pd808uHh0m8DXusahwEq3bfvhtBmgS4HtUEVr0LjnCSagKNhfxh0jN_iRE2Ax4N_wblPfU9yyQ1C7M/s320/harry-potter-deathly-hallows-part-2-poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5630466714818750066" /></a><br />Obvious statement: there are things to love and things to hate about the new Harry Potter movie. Some changes they made, such as the shield around the castle, were fun and even sensible. Others, such as the omission of the confrontation in the Ravenclaw Common Room and the long, drawn out fight against Voldemort at the end, were disappointing and aggravating. But what disturbs me is what happens when we line certain changes next to each other. <br /><br />The changed parts under consideration:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">- Hermoine speaking to Griphook</span><br />Hermoine never mentions to Griphook how she is as much an outsider to Voldemort as goblins are, as she is a Mudblood.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">- Neville filling Harry & co. in as to what has happened at Hogwarts</span><br />Neville fails to mention how Muggle Studies has changed to how Muggles are inferior creatures. Furthermore, the Cruciatus Curse is used on first years instead of Muggle-born students.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">- The Snape flashback </span><br />Snape’s anti-Muggle prejudice is omitted, as is his memory of calling Lily a “mudblood.” Instead of becoming a complex, flawed character who is still a bigot, he becomes another savior figure. Lily’s understandable (though tragic) choice to leave Snape is undone and instead she is a fickle girl who goes for the hot jerk. Rowling in an interview said that that was the moment where Snape lost Lily. Thus the film omitted from Snape’s past what was probably its most crucial moment.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">- Dumbledore’s backstory </span><br />There is no mention of Grindelwald’s backstory, leaving us no idea how Dumbledore got the Elder Wand. Furthermore, this means that there is no mention of Grindelwald’s “Muggles are inferior” beliefs, nor can there be any allusions to Dumbledore’s love.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">- Neville’s stand against Voldemort </span><br />Voldemort does not commend Neville’s status as a wizard from a pureblood family. Also, Neville gives a long speech about how Harry’s heart lives inside of everyone even if he is dead.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">- Luna and Neville end up together</span><br />This addition not only is never alluded to in the books, but even goes directly against who Rowling said the two marry in interviews.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK0D3u3Fvy6sjSWdMLUM4RfmM1_N5ha6JYYttiUHWCX4vtpdmaaSDI12TSyCx3-Z-dL2ABsuUfbAGocR4uXAd51ToO-lYxlYN3Nhcbbvr-3CSKK2hlxWsaiiBo1fjChnqcJLxwtRx8aUs/s1600/NEVILLEHP7-300.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 220px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK0D3u3Fvy6sjSWdMLUM4RfmM1_N5ha6JYYttiUHWCX4vtpdmaaSDI12TSyCx3-Z-dL2ABsuUfbAGocR4uXAd51ToO-lYxlYN3Nhcbbvr-3CSKK2hlxWsaiiBo1fjChnqcJLxwtRx8aUs/s320/NEVILLEHP7-300.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5630466931098001378" /></a>Any of these parts taken under consideration individually would seem reasonable perhaps. I might take umbrage (or even Umbridge) at the grotesque mishandling of Snape’s backstory and Neville’s Oscar speech, which was a heavy-handed waste of time that could have better been used showing Harry repairing his original wand, but whatever. However, when all of these are lined up together, we see a systematic deletion of the Pureblood agenda from the last film.<br /><br />This deletion is pretty surprising, especially when one considers that <span style="font-style:italic;">this is the central ideological conflict of the book series</span>. The final movie would make one believe that the fight is not about a pureblooded Wizard community vs. an inclusive one, but simply the Evil Wizards vs. Harry Potter (as underlined by Neville’s speech). <br /><br />The bad Wizards must be exterminated so that the good ones may live. Harry never tries to reason with Voldemort. He does not try to get him to repent to save his soul. We do not even know in this version if he casts the harmless “expelliarmus” when he kills Voldemort. Harry in this version is out for blood, as are many of the “good guys.” This film is not one about tolerance; it’s one about cleaning house. It’s not a film about inclusivity; it’s about getting rid of everyone who stands in your way. Even the Malfoys don’t have a place at table in the final celebration.<br /><br />Why is this film giving up Rowling’s message of tolerance, a message so prevalent in the books I used to accuse it of being heavy-handed? Because, ultimately, this film is a very conservative film. In this climate of tea-partiers running Congress and <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP5vMUNibixgpw_rnoKlQu9mkHRECApLcVJzUVf59DmnqG0sj9Vx-8kl0A_L-KciYYFTjylgC_K_kNBxFfkRdxjEKSu2ZUmfQtsKxkryKcC8-55GvlyX6U8ifsj48X7SCuahQm1EJKdAs/s1600/medium_voldemort-looking-up-9fzhu4mo.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP5vMUNibixgpw_rnoKlQu9mkHRECApLcVJzUVf59DmnqG0sj9Vx-8kl0A_L-KciYYFTjylgC_K_kNBxFfkRdxjEKSu2ZUmfQtsKxkryKcC8-55GvlyX6U8ifsj48X7SCuahQm1EJKdAs/s320/medium_voldemort-looking-up-9fzhu4mo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5630467160963894322" /></a>Mormon vampire tales ruling the box office, perhaps a bleeding heart film about love of those who are different is not the smartest financial strategy. Notice that the filmmakers even ensure that Dumbledore cannot be gay, since he has no one in his backstory with whom to be gay. There must not be the slightest hint of anything that could keep the red states from inflating the box office gross.<br /><br />Bigotry is fine. It is not a trait of the bad guys. It’s not directed against the good, smart people like Hermione. It is not something that could lose you the love of your life. It will never try to tempt you to the wrong side by telling you that you would benefit from it. Perhaps bigotry is more than fine…perhaps it just doesn’t exist.<br /><br />So what does the film leave us in its place? The compulsive, aggressive heterosexual coupling we see enforced on Neville and Luna (a single boy and a single girl can never just be friends!). And we now have a new enemy. We have the flamboyant, foppish Other, whose skin and facial structure is very different from the straight, white kids he is terrorizing. Instead of Hitler, Voldemort is everything that Hitler would decry in a frantic speech. He is a freak of nature, a sexual pervert who in a moment of near-pedophilia gets grabby with Draco Malfoy (again, not in the book!). In the final fight, he ties up Harry like a good bondage master and terrorizes the other children with his very large, very aggressive…snake. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjFPiwlqhq8dhXU2aNdoX7unPnkFB2nC_KnXRfcv-eTi4SyM2DgNI0ZhV9HyXcFUz9Dun3eMLCf-NXKmzpLdeYJrVtdifruYFHS0gSDJXrGh3F6tyWTXptyHEIE-arEdMbhkyAetEUTzQ/s1600/Fight-Voldemort-500x153.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 122px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjFPiwlqhq8dhXU2aNdoX7unPnkFB2nC_KnXRfcv-eTi4SyM2DgNI0ZhV9HyXcFUz9Dun3eMLCf-NXKmzpLdeYJrVtdifruYFHS0gSDJXrGh3F6tyWTXptyHEIE-arEdMbhkyAetEUTzQ/s400/Fight-Voldemort-500x153.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5630467333510689922" /></a><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Note how daintily Voldemort holds his wand</span><br /><br />Thus we have Voldemort as the abject figure. The abject racial other. And the abject homosexual who endangers the future. Lee Edelman in No Future argues that:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">…in the uncannily intimate connection between Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort [we see in the Child] a Symbolic resistance to the unmarried men…who embody, as Voldemort’s name makes clear, a wish, a will, or a drive toward death that entails the destruction of the Child. (Edelman 21)<br /></span><br />Edelman wrote No Future before the final three Harry Potter books were released, three books which turned the tables, making Voldemort the one obsessed with living forever, whereas Harry underwent a thanatopsis. In the final book, we learned that no one should want to live forever, that to be a true master of Death is to accept its inevitability. <br /><br />The movie however fulfills Edelman’s argument. Harry never really dies. Instead, futurity is hammered into our heads. Neville’s speech leads us to believe that even when hit with an Avada Kedavra curse, Harry still lives. Everyone carries a piece of Harry. Whereas the book had Harry “die” to protect the people of Hogwarts with his love, the film has Harry “die” only to turn every person at Hogwarts into his Horcrux. Voldemort is right; only one person can live forever. That person is Harry. The Child, the eternal enemy of the abject queer, will live forever. Any maturity he gains along the way, from his acceptance of his mortality to his tolerance of his enemies, must be forgotten, just as any of Peter Pan’s memories must be for the sake of his eternal childhood.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjRGLtcwD7i0GIj-nmbEwNKgJJbisLFvFKKmol-G6JDbrgDa0BBlFuOlxB5maIiIY824cL97dKZf7sN3_rgtAphjSi-KiuN5ucYDGdMAnKsl4K3D-RraB-h67tL296j_5bAxRfbFBUP2o/s1600/hp7-banner-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 121px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjRGLtcwD7i0GIj-nmbEwNKgJJbisLFvFKKmol-G6JDbrgDa0BBlFuOlxB5maIiIY824cL97dKZf7sN3_rgtAphjSi-KiuN5ucYDGdMAnKsl4K3D-RraB-h67tL296j_5bAxRfbFBUP2o/s400/hp7-banner-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5630468225274382802" /></a><br /><br />Thus, in the wake of the absent messages of tolerance, we see a film made with Death Eater ideology. A film of seeking eternity at the sake of others, a film of expelling everyone who is different from you, a film of victory through brute force, a film of omissions of difference and celebrations of purity. And, to the defense of the filmmakers, it worked. Through such careful planning, they offended no one. The offense is not even clear except when placed carefully against the book. Instead, everyone loves it and the film is on its way to earning enough money to warrant a rather large vault in Gringotts.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-44808072970725037382010-06-07T19:26:00.000-07:002013-07-24T20:45:26.351-07:00Summer of Jan Brady<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGEOCthtIb6c-O4UgWzXoK-6Wb-Ajb9gRUnc7C-NBiX_e3fSWnPKYclqc0zcmqRyJksGmp2PTr3K-qn9SSDDj_MqeuMLL9d0DJoSLnos1tHeu8cebVecKHXnE54V1whrZwxCWS_O53z9w/s1600/carrie.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGEOCthtIb6c-O4UgWzXoK-6Wb-Ajb9gRUnc7C-NBiX_e3fSWnPKYclqc0zcmqRyJksGmp2PTr3K-qn9SSDDj_MqeuMLL9d0DJoSLnos1tHeu8cebVecKHXnE54V1whrZwxCWS_O53z9w/s320/carrie.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480233575417423170" /></a>Poor, poor summer of 2010. You’re like the Jan Brady of summers; a complete disappointment to everyone. You don’t yet have a Marcia’s-nose-sized box office explosion like <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight, Finding Nemo</span>, or <span style="font-style:italic;">Transformers 2</span>, nor do you have an adorable Cindy-indie <span style="font-style:italic;">(500) Days of Summer</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">Little Miss Sunshine</span>. Even your two biggest hits so far, <span style="font-style:italic;">Iron Man 2</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Shrek Forever After</span>, did not perform nearly as well as was hoped and were not met all too favorably by critics. <span style="font-style:italic;">Sex in the City 2</span> has people questioning if the sequel is dying, <span style="font-style:italic;">Robin Hood was</span> considered a success because it didn’t bomb, and I feel like finishing the title MacGr___ would be like rubbing salt and vinegar chips in a wound.<br /><br />Though, to be fair, I personally am not all too disappointed. Of the five successful summer films I listed, one of them is my whipping boy, one is a backup for the first, one I would hate if I could muster the energy, and two I’m lukewarm on (for those of you who don’t know and clearly this is your first entry, first off, hi, and secondly, in order, <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight, (500) Days of Summer, Transformers 2</span>, and<span style="font-style:italic;"> Finding Nemo</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Little Miss Sunshine</span>). Last summer delivered hits like <span style="font-style:italic;">Star Trek</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince</span>. One was good, one wasn’t so good, neither were great, and I’d probably place <span style="font-style:italic;">Iron Man 2</span> in their ball park. Whether or not they grossed more does not mean that I had a better or worse summer. If millions of people saw <span style="font-style:italic;">Terminator Salvation</span> but I didn’t, then it really has not effect on my film experience of the season. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSfX9JDKyPfaTuxyNvrdoa9AyXjzjAz6vQIM-44dKBOhiL435n0fZ9JNVna6u8Z2nvbC7ze1EbB7UiWA_2cuN1-rSzwxhLZnyseu7KfTzvzSTJA3G-hWz8r83T5vDjZkXz0-1QpTN67ZQ/s1600/harry_potter_half_blood_prince_poster4.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSfX9JDKyPfaTuxyNvrdoa9AyXjzjAz6vQIM-44dKBOhiL435n0fZ9JNVna6u8Z2nvbC7ze1EbB7UiWA_2cuN1-rSzwxhLZnyseu7KfTzvzSTJA3G-hWz8r83T5vDjZkXz0-1QpTN67ZQ/s320/harry_potter_half_blood_prince_poster4.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480229662773476530" /></a>Sure, last summer delivered some amazing films such as <span style="font-style:italic;">Inglourious Basterds, Up</span>, and <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span> (I still contend that 2009 was a tremendously underrated year for film, especially within the last decade), but only <span style="font-style:italic;">Up </span>would have been seen as characterizing the summer before Oscar season hit. <br /><br />But I digress. The summer has just stared. Actually, despite the fact that former students of mine are posting “Done with high school” as their statuses and it is a sweltering, humid 95 degrees outside (or was when I started writing this entry), it is not even summer yet. So let’s take a look as I weigh in on some big films that the summer still has in store for us. NOTE: I’ll only be looking at bigger “summer” pictures. I also left out any I just had nothing interesting to say or that were too much of shooting fish in a barrel (see: <span style="font-style:italic;">Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore</span>)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />The Karate Kid (6/11)</span> – starting off on a low note: I don’t care. It’s a remake of a movie for which I have no nostalgia anyway. I somehow do not see people who know or have seen the original being all that interested, nor do I think the karate/ninja craze holds this generation like it did for kids of the 90s. It will flop, and good thing because my hatred of Will Smith extends to his entire family’s acting career.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: Take a guess<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The A-Team (6/11)</span> – <span style="font-style:italic;">AKA SWAT: Part Deux</span>. Oh, by the way, I liked <span style="font-style:italic;">SWAT</span>. It completely satisfied everything I needed from a blow-em-all-up film. Is it classic cinema? No, but it’s unfairly maligned. This film will probably be very similar and get similar critical/fan reception. And I forget how <span style="font-style:italic;">SWAT </span>did at the box office, but it will do that.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: Probably, but on a Tuesday, so it’s free.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Toy Story 3 (6/18)</span> – I like the fact that Pixar is really starting to sell themselves on the fact that they will make grown men weep at their films. Is there anybody out there who thinks his or her eyes will <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihC-4Ar1vHWRBROkGZLwnUlDelkhzk4QDBTHeWXAhZ37MCod7uCOTLXLdwbwRFzQ05gMHideUQuepXEz7L_beTu6tbsDUjBvTiotm1dnJ6icaiievDcgh8kdGiTT9aYVRu3P6SD6qP3ZY/s1600/toy_story_3_poster-535x791.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 217px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihC-4Ar1vHWRBROkGZLwnUlDelkhzk4QDBTHeWXAhZ37MCod7uCOTLXLdwbwRFzQ05gMHideUQuepXEz7L_beTu6tbsDUjBvTiotm1dnJ6icaiievDcgh8kdGiTT9aYVRu3P6SD6qP3ZY/s320/toy_story_3_poster-535x791.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480229888534809346" /></a>stay dry throughout the film? Hell, do you think most people will make it past the opening few minutes? The only potential pitfall this film can make is that it will open just as <span style="font-style:italic;">Up </span>did, but for some reason, I trust Pixar enough that they will do it so well that it will just work. <br /><br />Now people are complaining that they fear this movie is a sign of a Pixar getting lazy. In most cases of sequels I would agree, but here I am not so sure. The Toy Story sequels seem to be pushing the envelope on the ideas of “The End” and “Happily Ever After.” The first film opened up the concept of being forgotten, only to shut it up again quickly and assure us everything would be okay. The second film reopens the box, and while it shuts it, we know that the box cannot stay closed forever and the best we can do is enjoy the time we have. This film seems to be going the next step. Andy is leaving the toys behind. Sure, they are going to find him, and sure Andy is a bit out of touch with reality (talking about how Woody is a brave toy), but ultimately, if I may echo Stinky Pete, can Andy really take all his toys to college?<br /><br />A semi-happy solution may be found, but I feel it will be bittersweet. And with that, it adds a more foreboding “For Now” at the end of those prior ideas than any horror movie ever could.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: Yes. And I’ll bring tissues.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Knight and Day (6/25)</span> – What’s the appeal of this movie? Can someone let me know? Because people I respect keep talking about wanting to see this film, and personally, I think rewatching <span style="font-style:italic;">Letters to Juliet</span> would be a better investment of my time.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: Take a guess, part deux.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Twilight: Eclipse (7/2)</span> – the marketing for this film is pretty brilliant actually, or it is if they are doing what I think they are doing. If you haven’t <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH6naE0yhJM5Ij5OuVZBwwQxMfJr5d2Zj7_42Nvr-A2zGRJ-EkX8IAGPA3kthqM9n9cjUCWlHe5MjmJT_3ecQKxj9jWkA-hJBxFQ1_A1t2TlGzbwFr7PIvKkaRYg4u4RKMEzNHHalcntQ/s1600/eclipse.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH6naE0yhJM5Ij5OuVZBwwQxMfJr5d2Zj7_42Nvr-A2zGRJ-EkX8IAGPA3kthqM9n9cjUCWlHe5MjmJT_3ecQKxj9jWkA-hJBxFQ1_A1t2TlGzbwFr7PIvKkaRYg4u4RKMEzNHHalcntQ/s320/eclipse.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480230018052450386" /></a>seen the theatrical trailer, it essentially is selling this movie as a <span style="font-style:italic;">Lord of the Rings</span>-esque vampires vs. warewolves fight, instead of as another 2 hours of Bella-Edward-Jacob angst with a side of sparkles and shirtlessness. Why? Either A) the book is actually like that, B) they severely changed the story for the film, or, my guess, C) they already know that (generalization and gender stereotyping time!) every teenage girl is already going to see the movie even were the trailer a shot of a jar of mayonnaise for two and a half minutes. They therefore are trying to entice some guys to see it as well, by showing “Hey! It’s an awesome action movie!” It may not completely destroy the already-existing stigma, but it may work at least in turning it into a compromise for a date movie.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: I see through your ploy marketers. Nope.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Last Airbender (7/2)</span> – originally, <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar</span>, then <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar: The Last Airbender</span>, then it lost the invitation to <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJeGZrAd44_tmWZvV7GdiHdCJ5sqFL8P8nYVxJxMupmwbZoquyEf3jsGdSol9u2JYDMZqenCS4KQbHDw-ZrDJ0kbFH_287LZ0wHMHflmKZL73j3LMTBv0ix_fhZmk04HmluMt80vSZ6is/s1600/the_last_airbender_poster_03.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 215px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJeGZrAd44_tmWZvV7GdiHdCJ5sqFL8P8nYVxJxMupmwbZoquyEf3jsGdSol9u2JYDMZqenCS4KQbHDw-ZrDJ0kbFH_287LZ0wHMHflmKZL73j3LMTBv0ix_fhZmk04HmluMt80vSZ6is/s320/the_last_airbender_poster_03.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480230184787530866" /></a>comparison all-together. The film looks incredibly average, but almost charmingly so, like an incredibly average film that was made in 2002 after <span style="font-style:italic;">The Matrix </span>and <span style="font-style:italic;">Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon</span> craze and then got lost in the sands of Egypt for 8 years before being discovered by Heinrich Schliemann. Oh, and it’s directed by M. Night Shyamalan, who is clearly making an action, kid-orientated film as part of his penance for the past 10 years of his career, particularly <span style="font-style:italic;">The Happening</span>. Zach Snyder is doing the same currently with the film where the owls fly around and shout “Oh no!” and that’s basically the 90 minutes.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: Most likely not. The aforementioned charm can get me through 5 minutes. Then I have a movie to watch.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Despicable Me (7/9)</span> – I am upset that “supervillainy jokes” are becoming passé. Thanks Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog (aka yet another reason NPH bugs me)! I fear that this movie may be the nail in the coffin of those jokes. And, unlike <span style="font-style:italic;">Zombieland </span>with humor of the undead, the final note will not even be a deliciously triumphant one.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: NO!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Predators (7/9)</span> – yet another entry in the rebooted horror film genre. It joins the proud ranks of <span style="font-style:italic;">Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street</span>, and now I’m even more excited to see what <span style="font-style:italic;">Scream 4</span> has to say about this trend. However, the really interesting aspect of this film is how I have heard nothing about it until glossing over summer movies on IMDB. I am always amazed how some seemingly big films have so little buzz around them. <br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: No<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (7/16)</span> – this movie may win my “dumb but I gotta see it” prize. Plot looks standard and driven by special effects. Dialogue is probably exposition interspersed with typical summer movie attempts at wit. And, er, is there anything else in the film? No. But I gotta see it.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: Yes, but again, on a Tuesday. I will not pay for this.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkXOn5s6EdBvXQ8BWESFPH3LHUpETDFLo9uLPL1A5khdBWrCP_Em3ewfl1yYnLO0wN7sbPWuT1k3nqbGCMDlu_jsIUpHJd-3PgCF-Mnjs6Jw6j2ZnS_TM802d59rWli5uL2a0BQxwZpB0/s1600/inception_poster2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 198px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkXOn5s6EdBvXQ8BWESFPH3LHUpETDFLo9uLPL1A5khdBWrCP_Em3ewfl1yYnLO0wN7sbPWuT1k3nqbGCMDlu_jsIUpHJd-3PgCF-Mnjs6Jw6j2ZnS_TM802d59rWli5uL2a0BQxwZpB0/s320/inception_poster2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480230335663267042" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">Inception (7/16) </span>– A lot of people seem to think this movie will be the savior of cinema this summer. Of course, I think there will be a tug of war over people wanting Nolan to be the next great director and the fact that this film does not have a dead actor in it. At least not yet. Leo, I’d watch out if I were you. Hire a bodyguard and don't linger in front of exposed windows too much.<br /><br />But, my typical thoughts on <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight</span> aside, let me talk about this film as impartially as I can. The trailer seems to present an interesting concept, even if it is not exactly clear as to what the concept is. But I think the film may have the wrong director, and not just because the last work I liked by him was <span style="font-style:italic;">Memento</span>. I adore Quentin Tarantino, but I would never have picked him to direct <span style="font-style:italic;">Requiem for a Dream</span>. Certain styles do not fit certain contents. Nolan goes for a more realistic, stark tone. This film is one about dreams. I fear that Nolan will cop out with dreams, and only go so far as to have water fill up a house or something hang in midair. The necessary surrealism will be forgotten and a phoned-in replacement will take the job for the purposes of story. Perhaps I have been watching too much Luis Bunuel, but I would prefer to see a director more attune to indulging in the unreal. <br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: Ultimately, this film falls into <span style="font-style:italic;">Star Trek/Terminator Salvation</span> status. If I’m bored on a Tuesday or if some friends are seeing it, I’ll go. But I can’t see myself in most cases going to the movies to buy a ticket. So it’s 50/50. I saw <span style="font-style:italic;">Star Trek</span>, never saw <span style="font-style:italic;">Terminator Salvation</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Expendables (8/13)</span> – whereas <span style="font-style:italic;">A-Team</span> is <span style="font-style:italic;">SWAT: Part Deux</span>, I fear this blow-em-up may be <span style="font-style:italic;">Snakes on a Plane: Part Deux</span>. It has a lot of hype and a lot of internet geek buzz, but ultimately, it is selling itself on being ridiculous. Just like <span style="font-style:italic;">Snakes on a Plane</span>. And many people like to think that they enjoy bad or ridiculous films, when in fact, they really do not. And they certainly do not want to pay $12 for one when they could just download it or wait for DVD. It will deliver exactly what it promises (as did SoaP), but people will still be disappointed (because they never really wanted to see what was promised anyway) and it will flop.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: Probably. Though I will have just relocated to LA, so that will be an issue. It’s a movie I would like to see, but will not rearrange my life to see.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (8/13)</span> – Michael <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaX5KniZzrUoSjZIK772Q9jBVkYrZXy1XVG84kl6WxcybmUR05ZaMAcAqKD8Tz4gEHr4ICMgCOMjxGCWNMNSaiZZd8MCgejywGY9Xzqqek3WKSAcKcM8qA1GcPzRBpgTAvWBFFB88aZ0g/s1600/hr_Scott_Pilgrim_Poster.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaX5KniZzrUoSjZIK772Q9jBVkYrZXy1XVG84kl6WxcybmUR05ZaMAcAqKD8Tz4gEHr4ICMgCOMjxGCWNMNSaiZZd8MCgejywGY9Xzqqek3WKSAcKcM8qA1GcPzRBpgTAvWBFFB88aZ0g/s320/hr_Scott_Pilgrim_Poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480233772802402642" /></a>Cera backlash is so 2008. Seriously, you might as well be cheering for Hilary Clinton in the primaries whenever you unleash a Cera complaint. I'm officially declaring myself post Cera backlash. Which is very good since this movie looks hilarious and fun and even the trailers excite me and puts me in a good mood. It probably is actually the summer movie for which I’m most excited. Sure, it has a QuirkyIndieGirl but the film seems to really not care that much about her aside from being a MacGuffin and she actually seems relatively unquirky aside from her hair. Furthermore, in the anime-video-game setting of this world, that trait may actually be quite normal. Nobody thinks Sailor Mercury is actually punk, despite rocking her blue locks.<br /><br />WILL I SEE IT: YES.<br /><br />Okay, so the summer doesn’t look all that promising, but hey, there’s always beach reading. And summer beers. I think I’ll be okay.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-40128650039569171352010-05-24T19:39:00.000-07:002010-05-25T06:08:25.525-07:00In Search of Lost Real Time<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFN_SkrkvJ0211plPeSNGVrKSc7dJ2x2726E7O8_MjPh_KezQde2_lg6AwqB7-64wpa8te4jblPdyte-ku5v6OjhOE4PeUEHgTS857Gj-ZsbNML3v7fo-rbxP7YFH7VEWduYNdikbDSFQ/s1600/24wallpaper.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFN_SkrkvJ0211plPeSNGVrKSc7dJ2x2726E7O8_MjPh_KezQde2_lg6AwqB7-64wpa8te4jblPdyte-ku5v6OjhOE4PeUEHgTS857Gj-ZsbNML3v7fo-rbxP7YFH7VEWduYNdikbDSFQ/s320/24wallpaper.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475034854320001554" /></a>I just watched the <span style="font-style:italic;">24 </span>series finale. And I feel odd.<br /><br />I feel sad, wistful, old, regretful, youthful, and invigorated. Which is probably a bit too many emotions to feel over the end of a pulpy television show with a one-torture-per-three-episodes requirement.<br /><br />One night, a few years ago, I met up with an ex in a pub in London. We had been broken up for a year and the breakup was anything but amicable. A venom-filled root canal may be a more apt description. We talked, we drank, we reflected, we caught up, and we parted ways. A brief spark of what had once been there definitely showed, but it had to shine past the very evident ways we had grown apart and indeed always were not all that much on the same side. I noticed the bad haircut and the big teeth, the annoying jokes and the stupid opinions more than I ever did in our time together. Nostalgia and comfort lost to age and wisdom. <br /><br />As I watched the recap of the season, with its bombastic DRAMA!, stilted acting, and exposition-heavy dialogue, I thought this memory was an apt comparison. Relationships end for a reason. <span style="font-style:italic;">24 </span>may have its fun moments, but I stopped watching it very voluntarily (I literally had Fox on and turned it off). Season 6 was painfully bad and indicative of how you can only up the stakes so many times before you are up in LalaLand. I knew at one time this stuff made me all hot and bothered, but now I was above this schlock. I watched <span style="font-style:italic;">Sopranos </span>and <span style="font-style:italic;">Mad Men</span> and appreciated the slow burn. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIVMc6wNLZS9M8xHh-y-93KgRlTKU2sq2R8WcBrH8zI_omCqcWWt5y33-wNEAUEsmMpy8rRlCfJw079M1xg1KDmxuuOfmaPR9s-_1fSWQ9qYhaD_oZ5UzjoTgdoKvAqHVjA8au99gRwVo/s1600/jack-bauer.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIVMc6wNLZS9M8xHh-y-93KgRlTKU2sq2R8WcBrH8zI_omCqcWWt5y33-wNEAUEsmMpy8rRlCfJw079M1xg1KDmxuuOfmaPR9s-_1fSWQ9qYhaD_oZ5UzjoTgdoKvAqHVjA8au99gRwVo/s320/jack-bauer.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475035216996498418" /></a>Then Jack Bauer held a CTU officer at gunpoint and threatened to go to town on his body if he did not comply. <br /><br />I have also slept with an ex. This might be more apt of a comparison.<br /><br />By the end of the experience, I was jumping, screaming, panting, and red in the face. I was thrilled like I had not been in a long time. And after it all, I let myself lie placidly in the afterglow of the move that <span style="font-style:italic;">24 </span>was such an expert in. One that I had forgotten about, dulled down in my memory, unappreciated when I got it every week (and maybe not meant for every week every year), but one that still hit me in the right spot the exact same way it did when I was 14. (Okay, so maybe I lost my Bauer-virginity years before my other one.)<br /><br />In truth, I do think I enjoyed this finale in a way more because I had not had to labor through the past two seasons of <span style="font-style:italic;">24</span>. I have not heard good things and keeping up a thrill consistently is nigh-impossible. Furthermore, upon reflection, the finale was really just a jumble of the ends of seasons 4 and 5. They had run out of original ideas, but at least I had not had to see 22 other episodes of recycling…and at least they were borrowing from the best (or 2 of the 3 best, since season 1's finale still gives me shivers).<br /><br />This end was the one I wanted. One that gave me everything I had loved about <span style="font-style:italic;">24 </span>without giving me too much to lament its death or my abandonment of it. One that showed my beloved had not changed in our time apart, a good and a bad thing. A lovely final fling with a show with which I had a meaningful relationship.<br /><br />And this break provided one more benefit. I was not watching the last episode of a series or a season; I was revisiting an old friend. And so often, the oldest <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_MQhjf6SofNcg42JGcc9D-9YACW-rsBYQkTy_hFN01SGHJdL0jrCeiIZl9050LXqsNe7M3LOEohnG3_VujZW0uMEAtElisNYSHJ119bjv44LHall6UjttW09ZGiDbFY8v4ABK_1aXBI/s1600/24-cast-season1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 238px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_MQhjf6SofNcg42JGcc9D-9YACW-rsBYQkTy_hFN01SGHJdL0jrCeiIZl9050LXqsNe7M3LOEohnG3_VujZW0uMEAtElisNYSHJ119bjv44LHall6UjttW09ZGiDbFY8v4ABK_1aXBI/s320/24-cast-season1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475035405664233442" /></a>memories come first. I was in freshmen year of high school, reading recaps on TWOP in computer applications class with Nick because we finished the assignments before everyone else. Or I was eating baked ziti during a horrible heatwave in the second to last week of April, watching the scene where Jack jumps over a fence and Mason just walks around it. I was in sophomore year, trying to get my mom to stop asking questions so I could hear Jack’s heartfelt conversation with Kim as he faced what he assumed to be his coming death. I still had my old phone with speed dials and would call Nick on commercials. I was desperately trying to watch that damn four-hour premiere for season four in January of a hectic senior year. I had to keep track of those damn VHSes. I was back in my living room after a year of college, jumping up and down as Jack finally took down Logan and exposed his crimes.<br /><br />I blocked out most sophomore year memories. Date #3 with the pub ex actually was an early episode of season 6 (not Curtis Jack! HOW COULD YOU?!), but who wants to remember the bad times? By the end of that year, I was conducting an affair with <span style="font-style:italic;">Heroes </span>(which also has met the TV reaper). Those two hours on my couch (and floor) acted like a Proustian madeleine, though you are spared a 2,000 page blog entry.<br /><br />With the end of <span style="font-style:italic;">24</span>, I feel some tie to the past gone. When I stopped watching <span style="font-style:italic;">Alias </span>or <span style="font-style:italic;">Smallville </span>or <span style="font-style:italic;">Lost </span>(granted, that was after 12 episodes) or <span style="font-style:italic;">24</span>, still seeing them advertised was a type of reassurance. It let me know that TV has not changed too much since my high school years. Eventually, it began to mean since my college years. I may not have watched <span style="font-style:italic;">Lost </span>or <span style="font-style:italic;">Heroes </span>or <span style="font-style:italic;">24 </span>this year, but them on the air assured me that not too much time had passed since Luke, Justin, a bunch of other people and I gathered in Bush Hall’s lobby to watch <span style="font-style:italic;">24 </span>or Jim, Justin, and I engaged in a fierce <span style="font-style:italic;">Heroes</span>/<span style="font-style:italic;">Lost </span>debate. Now that’s not the case. <br /><br />Stop here if such a maudlin outpouring over a Fox show has already proved too much for you. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY7muCbRRYyAkMRGh0qHSLEB9ZCG3tK0DtnxlBbJGT8PGKiuULU4Pzb0pk7CeD5_T6-MFrQQzGYTbDacScAFhvopfbIqo7tOVMf6A7-QIyNHeJZC1HU9L-CVw6dMlA1Yq747x1jqMbAyw/s1600/24_-_jack_bauer_128200540958pm382.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY7muCbRRYyAkMRGh0qHSLEB9ZCG3tK0DtnxlBbJGT8PGKiuULU4Pzb0pk7CeD5_T6-MFrQQzGYTbDacScAFhvopfbIqo7tOVMf6A7-QIyNHeJZC1HU9L-CVw6dMlA1Yq747x1jqMbAyw/s320/24_-_jack_bauer_128200540958pm382.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475035615352243442" /></a><br /><br />If you’re still reading, join me in a toast. To a show as much a zeitgeist of the 2000s (which truly began in September 2001) as any gangster movie was of the 30s or bad, paranoid sci-fi was of the 50s. I might dare argue that <span style="font-style:italic;">24 </span>is, if not the most important show of the decade, perhaps the most emblematic. To a show that truly made us worry for the safety of its characters and probably had a bigger cast-axe rate than <span style="font-style:italic;">Survivor </span>(the only show that may rival <span style="font-style:italic;">24</span> for Show of the 2000s). To one of the shows that began what is now seemingly a dramatic standard of non-episodic episodes. And to Jack Bauer, one of the strangest, most confounding guys to ever threaten to stick a towel down a man’s throat.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-70983038738587362312010-05-01T12:08:00.000-07:002010-05-01T12:31:08.954-07:00Kick-Ass's Target: Spider-Man or Batman?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6NwWzMYSH0cm5kFaHEKOMiH7GO-WygI5VCyG2PJfC5fCjuEjZD8UQ23dcPWiFRi19BJVxW7f5A_GFyrjQP-3Z_98yeU9w5vFn_blZUU9MCnmSdnSeZq-xxkuMq0TzdxEFOZnk-S78xRQ/s1600/kick-ass-poster-paint.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6NwWzMYSH0cm5kFaHEKOMiH7GO-WygI5VCyG2PJfC5fCjuEjZD8UQ23dcPWiFRi19BJVxW7f5A_GFyrjQP-3Z_98yeU9w5vFn_blZUU9MCnmSdnSeZq-xxkuMq0TzdxEFOZnk-S78xRQ/s320/kick-ass-poster-paint.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466381353673804034" /></a>Ah, <span style="font-style:italic;">Kick-Ass</span>. Don’t you just love when a comic book thing becomes the hot topic du jour? Well, I don’t, but that’s for another entry. <br /><br />There are about a billion and one topics I can talk about with <span style="font-style:italic;">Kick-Ass</span>. There’s Hit-Girl and how for some reason, holding a kid at gunpoint or knife point (as seen in numerous films, such as <span style="font-style:italic;">Red Dragon, Dark Knight</span>, etc.) or killing him or her off (e.g. <span style="font-style:italic;">The Searchers, Punisher, Gladiator</span>) to fuel a revenge plot are both completely acceptable plot points and really not even worthy of a sentence, whereas once the kid dares to fight back, society has crumbled. Maybe the paradox is related to the idea that kids are sacred. And if we kill something sacred, well then, we can get really upset at the destruction of the sacred object. After all, Christianity is based around the destruction of the most <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn4KGajQDb_18nhgXuLa2qSrg2MFKFdVhyMXAQ0J9wbRbObD1q3m8RQADidpsmDtx_wydvPQ1ShN8W8Cesf4j_lnx_idvjrkZyCdosTVc5ZTnZMUlTsDCE4lc9Ft17nh0vYrpFCG4yE94/s1600/thoo-hitgirl.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 236px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn4KGajQDb_18nhgXuLa2qSrg2MFKFdVhyMXAQ0J9wbRbObD1q3m8RQADidpsmDtx_wydvPQ1ShN8W8Cesf4j_lnx_idvjrkZyCdosTVc5ZTnZMUlTsDCE4lc9Ft17nh0vYrpFCG4yE94/s320/thoo-hitgirl.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466382042499836610" /></a>sacred person and how darn great that was and our culture, for better or for worse, is based very much on Christianity. But whereas <span style="font-style:italic;">Passion of the Christ</span> was adored by many a right-wing nutjob, I am relatively certain that Revenge of the Christ would get the picket-treatment. So yeah, violence and kids is honky-dory as long as the kids are on the receiving end. Got that settled? Cool.<br /><br />There’s also the use of the gay joke and whether or not the movie flopped. Okay, so aside from the main point of the entry, there are three topics I can write about. But my interest lies in the fact that, upon talking to people, there seems to be a general dissatisfaction or uneasiness around how cartoonish the movie gets towards the end. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Kick-Ass </span>starts with a promise of an uber-realistic to the point of hilarious comic book movie. We get to see what would really happen if someone tried to be a superhero: his costume would look a bit dumb, he would be terrified of jumping from buildings and when he tried to fight crime, he would get the ass kicked out of him. Many fans took this approach as a parody of the mainstream superhero movie genre, or, if I may relabel it, the Marvel movie genre. Indeed, the music often turns into a trope on Danny Elfman’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Spider-Man </span>score and even the first 20 minutes or so are a pretty straightforward parody of the first <span style="font-style:italic;">Spider-Man</span> movie.<br /><br />But that premise cannot sustain itself. To hold the mirror of reality up to the artificial world of spandex superheroes is an entertaining <span style="font-style:italic;">Saturday Night Live</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy4mgwJN4CUmEghzxgnN9uOvb3KaHwwBCnEXr3FzQo_FRL4G6bw8TUL8XpjJ05lMmHTR3Z7au5ypG7SnZAiy_rzijWMHEdjhlWarKDUVRMPncdRPKTZSxppPtNYBmvwvUHmLjXDT1wmuc/s1600/kickass1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 218px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy4mgwJN4CUmEghzxgnN9uOvb3KaHwwBCnEXr3FzQo_FRL4G6bw8TUL8XpjJ05lMmHTR3Z7au5ypG7SnZAiy_rzijWMHEdjhlWarKDUVRMPncdRPKTZSxppPtNYBmvwvUHmLjXDT1wmuc/s320/kickass1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466382346779051314" /></a>sketch or possible even short film, but such an action feature would wear out its welcome fast. How many times could we watch Kick-Ass get beaten up? How many times can he flinch at the edge of a building? A super-hero in the real world movie cannot work because there are no superheroes in the real world. The logic that makes this idea worthy of our attention and allows it to become a satire would be the very same logic that undoes its ability to progress through the necessary three-act plot and reach some narrative resolution. A real Kick-Ass would just be the recipient of knife-points and spend the interim of his hospital stays looking for lost cats.<br /><br />Thankfully, for the film and the viewer, <span style="font-style:italic;">Kick-Ass</span> is not a parody of the Marvel superhero movie. It’s a parody of the DC superhero film, specifically <span style="font-style:italic;">Watchmen </span>and Nolan’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Batman</span> films. Why these? Just because I didn’t like them? Nah, were that the case, I would have included the <span style="font-style:italic;">Fantastic Four</span> movies and <span style="font-style:italic;">X3 </span>in there. I say this because <span style="font-style:italic;">Kick-Ass</span> is not a parody of the “mainstream” superhero film; it is a satire of the “realistic” superhero film. <br /><br />The first twenty minutes may be giving us a fantasy-free variety of <span style="font-style:italic;">Spider-Man</span>, but they are also delivering the promises of Nolan or Snyder with abundance. Nolan strove to give us a real urban hero: a Batmobile that “made sense” for city streets, a believable training background for the protagonist, and villains that reflect the problems of society today and use knives as weapons instead of freeze-rays and killer plants.<br /><br />However, ultimately, as I pointed out two years ago when tearing <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight</span> a new <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUaxi736BC5Y_bioOU-2xiHQ8jq2yK8cnMHLeCXw9m03H0ElDOXc-6ySdkNWA5ksEyYwY6zOFwPV5jXfhte8WFJSI2thyvus8iaPYQgGt21X44aabUoEvt9c2cNXUO6cavcpZugSzI-fE/s1600/batman-begins.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 141px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUaxi736BC5Y_bioOU-2xiHQ8jq2yK8cnMHLeCXw9m03H0ElDOXc-6ySdkNWA5ksEyYwY6zOFwPV5jXfhte8WFJSI2thyvus8iaPYQgGt21X44aabUoEvt9c2cNXUO6cavcpZugSzI-fE/s320/batman-begins.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466382883485281666" /></a>one, Batman is not realistic. A billionaire secreting financing his own one-man war on crime after secretly training decades around the world is only a miniscule bit more believable than webslinging across Times Square. In fact, people should not fear the man in a giant rubber Batsuit, but mock him. And that reaction is the one of the first “villains” in <span style="font-style:italic;">Kick-Ass</span>. Kick-Ass is a crazy person, a nerd, a loser, an idiot in a playsuit. He does the best one can do with the resources accessible to an actual superhero. And it’s funny. <br /><br />Such a parody makes sense, after all. Why expose the stupidity of a real-life superhero to a series of films that have genetically altered arachnids, weather controlling mutants, and Jessica Alba trying to act? It mocks a genre for not having something it never pretended to possess. However, to go after a subgenre by giving all that it promised but failed to deliver is to have a more worthy target.<br /><br />But the film extends its satire. It does not simply show what the “realistic” superhero film lacks; it then exaggerates the necessary trajectory of any “realistic” action film. As the film progresses, it descends from this almost hyper-<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWdTbTvKshc_c1BohI047F59gkwik1oc7EHugsn99LcDFQPjJqQXt0gky7m0Nx-_41CcqNbxx0cFaFzI1x0I-ZO_IPwOcwawTqxsKNg-i_3skDVnbNlHX46R85Sh9rIxzNmsxewBtrTwo/s1600/hit-girl-kick-ass-poster.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWdTbTvKshc_c1BohI047F59gkwik1oc7EHugsn99LcDFQPjJqQXt0gky7m0Nx-_41CcqNbxx0cFaFzI1x0I-ZO_IPwOcwawTqxsKNg-i_3skDVnbNlHX46R85Sh9rIxzNmsxewBtrTwo/s320/hit-girl-kick-ass-poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466383240164161298" /></a>realistic world into a Tarantino-esque Lala-Land. This progression is heralded in by the introduction of Hit-Girl and Big Daddy. These two, in a sense, are the quintessential “real” superhero. Their outfits are dark, they use lethal force, and, unlike Kick-Ass, they deliver a real plot, real conflict, and real results. Yet they are also the most detached from reality itself. Their very costumes and mannerisms evoke the cartoonish. Hit-Girl has purple hair like an anime character and enters to a perky soundtrack that could very well be performed by Puffy Ami Yumi. Big Daddy talks like Adam West’s Batman, everything from which Nolan strived to detach himself. He also paints the areas around his eyes like Joel Schumacher’s Batmen did. Yes, there may be believable reasons for the character’s choices (colorful wigs and weird speech patterns hide identities), but such reasons do not automatically nullify such evocations. Whatever the logic behind such choices is, Hit-Girl looks like a she could join the Sailor Senshi and Big Daddy could say “old chum” any second.<br /><br />Furthermore, their larger-than-life traits extend beyond their appearances. They take on dozens of henchmen at a time and live. They can catch guns (and even reload them) midair like refugees from <span style="font-style:italic;">The Matrix</span>. In fact, their arsenal itself seems to rival that of the white room in the first Matrix* film. They even own a jetpack because, you know, that’s so much more down-to-earth than just jumping out the window and flying. I know they were stealing money from the drug busts…but could that buy all of those weapons? And wouldn’t someone be able to trace them?<br /><br />[*In fact, the parallels to <span style="font-style:italic;">The Matrix</span> are quite fascinating. After all, The Matrix attempts to explain the unrealistic, aerial movements of kung-fu action heroes. But how does it do it? By placing everything within an even larger artificial reality, both literally by introducing the Matrix program and by forcing the audience to believe that sentient robots have taken over mankind. I suppose that is more plausible than thinking a man can jump between skyscrapers. I do not know if I was even being sarcastic in that last sentence.]<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBziglyItIC5BOXBr2O3Ja3AApmy44jzkIvMq3IG2WpTk_erUVNBresgJONFZOTOf_GJm2yv3O6wmufV-7xZXfeHuoIWxGyLonDJJ1wP1UzIwP0mL8-QuzYbA9Kwv39VRB-bd9anQ_A1M/s1600/Trinity.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBziglyItIC5BOXBr2O3Ja3AApmy44jzkIvMq3IG2WpTk_erUVNBresgJONFZOTOf_GJm2yv3O6wmufV-7xZXfeHuoIWxGyLonDJJ1wP1UzIwP0mL8-QuzYbA9Kwv39VRB-bd9anQ_A1M/s320/Trinity.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466383864494972290" /></a><br /><br />But these two are very much like Batman or The Minutem – excuse me, Watchmen: cartoon characters running around a real world, trying to pass. But they manage to appear only more cartoonish and their superhuman acts seem more egregiously, ridiculously powerful because they have purported themselves to be below superhuman. In movies such as <span style="font-style:italic;">Spider-Man </span>and <span style="font-style:italic;">X-Men</span>, storytellers introduce a series of rules and mostly adhere to them. We do not question that Magneto can take on a veritable army because he can manipulate metal. Wolverine can take a licking and keep on ticking thanks to a healing factor. Kick-Ass should not be able to endure such punishment. And, in the beginning of the movie, he isn’t. He actually does go to the hospital (a rare locale for a superhero unless he is visiting his aunt or a district attorney) and he seems pretty out of it by the end of his first “victory.” But yet, he goes on to fight another battle immediately after the torture scene. He admits that he hurts and by all means our hero should be returning to the hospital, or at least his bed room. But no, he still manages to take on Red Mist. <br /><br />This hole is gaping, but upon looking through it, we can see similar instances in <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXxDrZGXyuVDhjUXKxaPgbpW9qdqfJ0WtRU4qenOX9rLw4fIOoSczfAFjuVy0nKyxYj2wAn-zCnHEVOeGLtCODZ3XniAzU7OUpSZtbbk0OyXVWzzbgpGrEN7Zxdns9FHDprQ5tvpd7iSI/s1600/kickass_ver7.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXxDrZGXyuVDhjUXKxaPgbpW9qdqfJ0WtRU4qenOX9rLw4fIOoSczfAFjuVy0nKyxYj2wAn-zCnHEVOeGLtCODZ3XniAzU7OUpSZtbbk0OyXVWzzbgpGrEN7Zxdns9FHDprQ5tvpd7iSI/s320/kickass_ver7.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466385150531944386" /></a>Nolan’s films. Batman should show up in the hospital after certain run ins. While amazing, Alfred can only do so much. And his background of service in the British SS seems a bit more ridiculous in a reality where Joker cannot even use laughing gas, so I doubt they would invoke that bit of character history. Or, to return to the prior point, his triumphs over legions of criminals should be directed with the same anime-esque glee that fills Hit-Girl’s assaults, for they should be just as much as blemish on the believability of Chicago-Gotham as Hit-Girl is on Manhattan. The aforementioned jet-pack, the bazooka that ends the movie with an exclamation point (a long line and a dot), and its ilk are all things meant for the funny pages, but so is the contraption Bruce used in his Hong-Kong adventure, his tank of a Batmobile, and even his Batarangs. <br /><br />In short, the very act of promising reality in a comic book movie only makes it more cartoonish and unreal than a typical comic book movie. We may not believe people can shoot beams out of their eyes, but once we buy into that fact (one no one would ever question Cyclops when watching <span style="font-style:italic;">X-Men</span>), we can believe that the ability to shoot beams out of one’s eyes makes one a one-man army. But we know there are limits to what the human body can do, even if aided by intense training and the best weapons that money can secretly buy. <span style="font-style:italic;">Kick-Ass</span> more blatantly does what Rorschach, Ozymandius, and Batman have already done: made the human superhuman while still trying to pass them off as human. A girl with a sword must be just as competent as Superman, which is even less plausible than the concept of Superman himself.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4BYJWbodEzD3MGnfWQH7Ohh227-IDm97ehFuSjL3ryEvQa3qVJevGVoONsaqDM21Em3KqMOAjHSAdlXcDIApRjjoZMMGK-7bgx_StMzxHTuNDySBZdyOYUvQkMcHZ1qae15vkoGflQuc/s1600/kick_ass_poster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 125px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4BYJWbodEzD3MGnfWQH7Ohh227-IDm97ehFuSjL3ryEvQa3qVJevGVoONsaqDM21Em3KqMOAjHSAdlXcDIApRjjoZMMGK-7bgx_StMzxHTuNDySBZdyOYUvQkMcHZ1qae15vkoGflQuc/s320/kick_ass_poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466385552521091970" /></a><br /><br />Sure <span style="font-style:italic;">Kick-Ass</span> may appear more cartoonish than <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight</span> or its ilk, but that is only because it so enthusiastically owns its cartoonishness. But in flaunting its own implausibility, it manages to show that art can never be life. Especially when that art involves wearing a cape.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-15375649610445240742010-04-18T16:55:00.000-07:002010-04-18T17:42:42.498-07:00The Kane Mission<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo6ro6P67rN-BJAJ22-uoSoweBtxpkC6UTZn-D0uo93NAbz5SPltWv9N62FT18-g2KEZfxjXNusjCO275sZAHygzurJb9io8RvlP-Ki1N4vQverEdOT-P8OI9oiO05hrdiyLQglQMVq3U/s1600/faposter-cidadao-kane.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 248px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo6ro6P67rN-BJAJ22-uoSoweBtxpkC6UTZn-D0uo93NAbz5SPltWv9N62FT18-g2KEZfxjXNusjCO275sZAHygzurJb9io8RvlP-Ki1N4vQverEdOT-P8OI9oiO05hrdiyLQglQMVq3U/s320/faposter-cidadao-kane.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461638930725201378" /></a><span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> is quite an anomaly when you think about it. Or at least its reputation is. Can anyone agree on the best novel ever written? If asked, someone might throw out Joyce’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Ulysses</span>, but another might immediately counter with Proust’s <span style="font-style:italic;">À la recherche du temps perdu</span> or Tolstoy’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Anna Karenina</span>. Even if you limited the question to novels written in the English language, you’d be faced with devotees of Dickens, Eliot, and Melville, as well as those of Nabokov and Twain, but to name a few. <span style="font-style:italic;">Hamlet </span>is the classic example of great play, but not the universal answer for "greatest play." Putting aside those who would campaign against Shakespeare, you could still find Bard enthusiasts who would argue that the man’s (yes, one man) greatest work is <span style="font-style:italic;">King Lear</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">The Tempest</span>. Subjects as seemingly limited as “the epic poem” find a clash between the mouth of Homer and the pen of Milton. <br /><br />Yet, <span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> is “the greatest movie ever made.” It tops every big critical list and anyone who makes a case against it is not simply making an argument for the greatest movie ever made, but distinctly marking themselves out as challenging an accepted truth. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXx6_mrsq5GnV9Sz0e7NC-GUua9TXOsXXkZZIQ9ykLslpjTrw2qjPvs8FVzQUNFmVG6BFDAtTRIr9uc8AcpRkxJTj7mgXETkvCM2Um9UpmgPdfihU95QwyL7rvObc6YQdL0mcdsPy0QyE/s1600/citizen-kane.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXx6_mrsq5GnV9Sz0e7NC-GUua9TXOsXXkZZIQ9ykLslpjTrw2qjPvs8FVzQUNFmVG6BFDAtTRIr9uc8AcpRkxJTj7mgXETkvCM2Um9UpmgPdfihU95QwyL7rvObc6YQdL0mcdsPy0QyE/s320/citizen-kane.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461639254368963298" /></a><br /><br />And oddly, so many people who have seen <span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> do not like it or even understand what makes it great. Furthermore, the strangest part of that situation is that, unlike a person’s reaction to disliking almost any other great movie, in this case, they actually accept the blame. I have heard countless people challenge everything from <span style="font-style:italic;">The Godfather</span> to <span style="font-style:italic;">Vertigo </span>to <span style="font-style:italic;">Sunrise </span>to <span style="font-style:italic;">8 ½</span> to <span style="font-style:italic;">Star Wars</span>. I myself will piss on most Kurosawa films like they were freshly laid snow and I had an uncontrollable desire to see my name. But the standard reaction for <span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> is, “I probably don’t know enough about film to fully appreciate it.” The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in the film, but in ourselves. <br /><br />So the film sits upon its throne, loved by a few critics and film buffs, unappreciated yet revered by many and unwatched by even more. It is a treasure the masses can never comprehend.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1RIAZm2qE9VOn8dHTQavJaikWvCHVmSruvANtETTmBTuOGRfZW8_nqc4nAc-oemreWPAAKKZj1A2eZhWDR1jUUnwTFadSkShb0P64kpiQwIBgtADzO_RaSCs3yHItwcSt2OnxTwE6d2Q/s1600/citizen-kane+lights.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1RIAZm2qE9VOn8dHTQavJaikWvCHVmSruvANtETTmBTuOGRfZW8_nqc4nAc-oemreWPAAKKZj1A2eZhWDR1jUUnwTFadSkShb0P64kpiQwIBgtADzO_RaSCs3yHItwcSt2OnxTwE6d2Q/s320/citizen-kane+lights.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461641943891676306" /></a><br /><br />As one of those masses, I was not content. I could not figure out what was worse: being denied a marvelous piece of art or being denied the ability to bash a treasure with all the iconoclastic fury I could muster. But reading a book on <span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> would not be enough. I wanted to see, not simply hear, what a marvel it is.<br /><br />Thus, the great mission was born. The original plan was this: create a list of essential movies to watch made which were made before <span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> and, for a month or two, only watch those movies. Anything that could possibly use post-Kane techniques was to be avoided like electricity on the sabbath. Naturally, this task was not one I could or should tackle single-handedly. I needed a partner, someone with whom I could share thoughts, reflect, and, most importantly, turn to for impetus after a particularly boring film. I immediately turned to Nick, my oldest friend and another budding film geek. I say “film geek” since neither Nick nor I consider ourselves “film buffs.” There are two types of “film buffs.” The first group is those who think that seeing a few foreign films and renting movies made before 1980 on a decently regular basis makes one a film buff. The second are the real film buffs: those who really just know their shit. Nick and I lie somewhere in between the two; we know just enough about film to know we are not buffs.<br /><br />Upon reflection, perhaps this mission would have made a great <span style="font-style:italic;">Julie and Julia-</span>esque blog. Too bad <span style="font-style:italic;">Julie and Julia</span> came out after we were two months into it. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTs5OHhJ1WUbM4xU05FZ4zMOzz64a3j3Xas20ea5tV2CuLpj-NnypbaGKf9Q0sEVr1W11-iGEAAicLOHP6x5kRiBpbNvWCGHRxSwK9FouMrCNg6EJkuxNr-IoB_QA6iHXXhEeOiMs-RbU/s1600/Julie+and+Julia+movie-cover.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 215px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTs5OHhJ1WUbM4xU05FZ4zMOzz64a3j3Xas20ea5tV2CuLpj-NnypbaGKf9Q0sEVr1W11-iGEAAicLOHP6x5kRiBpbNvWCGHRxSwK9FouMrCNg6EJkuxNr-IoB_QA6iHXXhEeOiMs-RbU/s320/Julie+and+Julia+movie-cover.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461640316930377122" /></a>And I console myself with the fact that, knowing me, only the blog or the mission itself could be of true importance. Were I to keep the blog, the mission would be a reason for the blog and, thus, lose its true purpose and my true understanding. I would be watching movies, taking notes on them for quips to make and so forth, instead of allowing them to envelope me. Though, I admit, I would love Amy Adams to play me in a movie. Meryl Streep could play Roger Ebert or Žižek. Is anyone in Hollywood reading this? You're sitting on a gold mine!<br /><br />But I digress.<br /><br />We quickly ruled out the isolation approach. After all, Nick was off for the summer and needed to do something to fill his long days; not watching post-1941 films would<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDEl3DNHzbyHG1gHwdqDxmjkh4JPlZ_BjraaiVTCLXeqpVIDVWAB3baF7TJeKVrrE2eDXB3DqOt4SBiak_N1brCgfxsQETdXaLsXhbmShfVeBcDhSq-dXW0Ry6cwANaqtPnDsnIiKWXU8/s1600/Poster+-+Footlight+Parade_03.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 258px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDEl3DNHzbyHG1gHwdqDxmjkh4JPlZ_BjraaiVTCLXeqpVIDVWAB3baF7TJeKVrrE2eDXB3DqOt4SBiak_N1brCgfxsQETdXaLsXhbmShfVeBcDhSq-dXW0Ry6cwANaqtPnDsnIiKWXU8/s320/Poster+-+Footlight+Parade_03.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461640770873820786" /></a> be an issue. Also, we both needed to catch up on <span style="font-style:italic;">Mad Men</span>. Of course, with this rule eliminated, the list was able to grow, unconstrained by the necessity of a month or two lifespan. What was once 50 films burgeoned to 120 or so. Soon, we were not only getting the best of the best, but a fuller sense of films at the time. We knew not only the high points of aesthetic value, but the cultural points such as the gangster film or talkie-powered musical. <br /><br />And, in these “extra” films was where the true value of this mission lay. Sure, it was great in finally getting us to watch such classics as <span style="font-style:italic;">It Happened One Night</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Rules of the Game</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Battleship Potemkin</span>, and <span style="font-style:italic;">Gone With the Wind</span>. We certainly had a better appreciation for them by watching them in the context of their time (very few people nowadays probably have our absolute thrill at <span style="font-style:italic;">Sunrise</span>’s camera movement). But, ultimately, as fledgling <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjQPrNAqcjwKlZGqrn0Q1HUT52Erdd1TiAMGVjoY_xIWHlSQk-F_4xaBQ2Lvb9ARdsAqFs22nERpTgExCGB56OM92avNTpRPWL3f7XuJCximtyzlcjSe-aHKDd2A8LpnY09zoYCl3ZR3o/s1600/i-am-a-fugitive-from-a-chain-gang-800-75.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjQPrNAqcjwKlZGqrn0Q1HUT52Erdd1TiAMGVjoY_xIWHlSQk-F_4xaBQ2Lvb9ARdsAqFs22nERpTgExCGB56OM92avNTpRPWL3f7XuJCximtyzlcjSe-aHKDd2A8LpnY09zoYCl3ZR3o/s320/i-am-a-fugitive-from-a-chain-gang-800-75.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461640896338529010" /></a>film geeks, we probably would have encountered these greats at some point or another in life. However, there are other films that, while we knew enough about them to put them on the list and therefore might have seen them eventually, might not as certainly made their way to our DVD players in life. They could have languished in our Netflix queue for years, always hanging around spot 73 as newer or more important films took precedent. <span style="font-style:italic;">Man with the Movie Camera, I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang, My Man Godfrey, Scarlett Empress, Le Jour Se Leve, Strike!</span>: I’m looking at you. Hell, even films like <span style="font-style:italic;">Greed </span>(i.e. those that are deemed among the top, but just seem too long or boring to wallow through) make me more indebted to this list.<br /><br />Naturally, we also learned a lot about film. Such as the fact that camera movement is really exciting. And that, if a silent film is boring, the benefit is that you <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzejpb8_CtRmMaAGtK5xTJlCk5Onnpb9ph1LBPD17Kl7ka_0dc4pUVdpsSaKtvo9we33YDu2xNmXmrSpEDCxqiQ7VTyrHTHMoSW_Lf3TrAtF4eBHGu3T_YcCTkRPw5NYWqznwXkhyeolQ/s1600/brokenblossoms.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 230px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzejpb8_CtRmMaAGtK5xTJlCk5Onnpb9ph1LBPD17Kl7ka_0dc4pUVdpsSaKtvo9we33YDu2xNmXmrSpEDCxqiQ7VTyrHTHMoSW_Lf3TrAtF4eBHGu3T_YcCTkRPw5NYWqznwXkhyeolQ/s320/brokenblossoms.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461641057878331282" /></a>can talk through it. And “What’s the idea?” is akin to “What the hell?” whereas “What’s the big idea?” is more like “What the fuck?” And most silent Russian films are exactly the same, many of them being excruciatingly dull. And, over fifteen years later, <span style="font-style:italic;">Pinocchio </span>is still as horrible as when I first saw it. And, while most famous for <span style="font-style:italic;">Intolerance </span>and <span style="font-style:italic;">Birth of a Nation</span>, Griffith’s true achievement is <span style="font-style:italic;">Broken Blossoms</span>. Oh yeah.<br /><br />We also learned a lot about camera and things like that, but you really don't want to hear that.<br /><br />As time passed and the months went on (this whole trek started on June 8 of last year), a slight worry began to emerge: what if <span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> was a letdown? While we consoled ourselves with the aphorism of a journey exceeding a destination (and, with over 100 films and 10 months of movie watching, there was no way it could not), we still wanted a big finish. After all, what is a great movie without a great ending, be it a line or a shot? <span style="font-style:italic;">Casablanca</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Psycho</span>, and every Wilder film seem to know this to be the case. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc_zozD5O9pek5fDxaHBwF7nf2kPoE0ezxT836Hfo0ntofhrdrheSo6GfWY1L1Zx3HPlc8zcVh-o5HMvCYkjxmcN1FNnDFxEmKsN7Nqy248Bw3ELYN4HqTTthxAa8aHZxbC9Hv9ufurbw/s1600/citizen-kane-xan.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc_zozD5O9pek5fDxaHBwF7nf2kPoE0ezxT836Hfo0ntofhrdrheSo6GfWY1L1Zx3HPlc8zcVh-o5HMvCYkjxmcN1FNnDFxEmKsN7Nqy248Bw3ELYN4HqTTthxAa8aHZxbC9Hv9ufurbw/s320/citizen-kane-xan.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461641249003615458" /></a><br /><br />This past Friday was judgment day. Film Forum was screening <span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> as part of their Newspaper Picture festival and we knew that nothing could rival a 35mm print on a big screen with an audience. <br /><br />I can gush about <span style="font-style:italic;">Kane </span>for pages now. But what’s the point? I’m now on the other side and either you’re on my side of the line and already know what I mean or you would just take my word for it. All I will say is this: mission accomplished. Sure, I could have read essays about <span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> beforehand or listened to a film professor, but ultimately, I experienced it. From the opening shots, I saw Welles tearing up the rules of cinema and joyously creating a whole new vocabulary (or at least turning Middle English into early modern English). The whole movie was thrilling; I had goosebumps and a grin with every shot, every technique that seemed new because it surpassed and undid every expectation I had. <br /><br />So this marks the end of a mission and an abnormal entry. I’m not pessimistic, not even all that thoughtful, but I thought I should share it all with you (and not just to end my two week hiatus). What’s the moral of this tale? Create assignments for yourself. Give yourself homework. And do it with a class or at least a buddy…because that’s the only way you’ll get it done.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib1JzDNnmDNrs469H-kempfFxd3IPaY-GUatUW8wMYv2QTyywXBmvFOhVZTC8TF6H_5KzhXnuf75mDJkEa9IAwpnN41Ih_4L0xMtpLLymgxO1UNyo0hsi-O6pIzoQogLNVct7Zg7mUma4/s1600/kane18.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib1JzDNnmDNrs469H-kempfFxd3IPaY-GUatUW8wMYv2QTyywXBmvFOhVZTC8TF6H_5KzhXnuf75mDJkEa9IAwpnN41Ih_4L0xMtpLLymgxO1UNyo0hsi-O6pIzoQogLNVct7Zg7mUma4/s320/kane18.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461641382159378754" /></a><br /><br />Er, no, that’s not the best moral. Um, realize that to watch movies in the context of your time, you should create really long lists and – <br /><br />No. <br /><br />There is no moral. I don’t know if anyone would or could replicate this experience. For starters, you need a Nick to your Devin or Devin to your Nick, someone willing to sit through all those movies with you and set time aside for double features and marathons. Someone who can get high just off of a transcendent film experience and who is willing to laugh at Eisenstein’s <span style="font-style:italic;">October</span>. Someone to whom you can comment on how crisp* a movie is or isn’t and note that the inevitable “everyone running” scene has come at the end of a silent movie. <br /><br />One film we watched was Murnau’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Tabu</span>. We hated it (except for an awesome dance scene). Watching it was the most fun I had <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6SzVh9DdgKV1HP6UfhM7jVfOhchnBf1ZFbLTjLBuJNT-OIWXVGuSeJmG7UKxYWPQjU00-r5LHIUTokKf9j3Jf3jRVPQjCPJ_CDW4EOm6q2QNCVj77JI-FcUiKEUCY1HZwLaL9GVnrV90/s1600/tabu1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 184px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6SzVh9DdgKV1HP6UfhM7jVfOhchnBf1ZFbLTjLBuJNT-OIWXVGuSeJmG7UKxYWPQjU00-r5LHIUTokKf9j3Jf3jRVPQjCPJ_CDW4EOm6q2QNCVj77JI-FcUiKEUCY1HZwLaL9GVnrV90/s320/tabu1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461641618989636706" /></a>that week and one of my favorite memories from last fall. Why? Because it was silent, and I already said what you can do during boring silent movies. Even my mom, who was in the other room, remarked that she was jealous of how much we were enjoying that dull film. A companion like that is hard to come by. I could continue rambling about how this story is less a story about a film or even one about a list of movies, but about a friendship, but this blog is called “Pop Culture Gone Bad,” not “Mass Bromantic.” <br /><br />But if you want to try, let me know and I’ll post the list. But yeah, aside from that, just another day in the life of a movie geek.<br /><br />*Have you ever watched an old movie (particularly a really old silent one) and found it almost impossible to believe that at one point, the action on screen was real <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPbUgxubB5UJySqvWwiP5Yb24i7mq4wsujZFFrQ_p6jPcvIhfqj5QL4hxLKtE2a6JAh25sHCiwt2f_qagkbIATs6lXFJiGdhSBDFbR_yj3dFGW5LvdbtboCGas1wx-uc1rMTNSd57Bci8/s1600/00.18.21-eureka.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPbUgxubB5UJySqvWwiP5Yb24i7mq4wsujZFFrQ_p6jPcvIhfqj5QL4hxLKtE2a6JAh25sHCiwt2f_qagkbIATs6lXFJiGdhSBDFbR_yj3dFGW5LvdbtboCGas1wx-uc1rMTNSd57Bci8/s320/00.18.21-eureka.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461641765872457762" /></a>life people in front of a camera, who looked and sounded just like real-life people? Our blanket term for the level of believability was crispness. A modern movie, such as <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span>, would be about a 10 on the crispness scale. It loses a point or so with 40s or 50s Technicolor or really, well, crisp black and white. Typical black and white loses another point or so. But, most cases, you can still imagine. As you watch though films from the early 30s or earlier, they tend to get more and more uncrisp (particularly when a silent film is tinted) and you find yourself less and less able to believe that 80 or 90 years ago, all these people looked quite crisp. There is a sound counterpart to “crisp;” we call it “crackly.” Though, whereas crisp increases with modernity, crackly decreases.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-80780244459765304802010-04-03T23:33:00.000-07:002010-04-04T11:12:01.759-07:00Holy Resurrection, Bat-Jesus!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhkLGoC4n9IIxcmgv-tFA40YFdXVza7xjzSy4YHBdsK1ayJcfSYHWslxW4xgoXegsGSx6TRC600ocXA3hbr_kTnGXrlT0NyS0-WqR9Z1ctCpS61wbWPto3FS34xgs4sK7nLFM0_jj2iM/s1600/A_to_Z-26_Z+600px.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 226px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhkLGoC4n9IIxcmgv-tFA40YFdXVza7xjzSy4YHBdsK1ayJcfSYHWslxW4xgoXegsGSx6TRC600ocXA3hbr_kTnGXrlT0NyS0-WqR9Z1ctCpS61wbWPto3FS34xgs4sK7nLFM0_jj2iM/s320/A_to_Z-26_Z+600px.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456172264527429890" /></a>Another month, another holiday, another list of ten. In honor of Easter, I have decided to take this time to celebrate my ten favorite methods of resurrection in fiction! Originally, I was going to do my ten favorite resurrected characters, but there are just too many of them. And, for those of you offended, just think: I could have done worse. I couldn't think of too many freed slaves I love to honor Passover. Only really Mammy from Gone with the Wind. Yes, Dobby counts as one, but who actually liked him? I know; no one! And then people cried all sadly when he died! But I assure you, no one would like to see him employ any of these methods.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Fakin’ It</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Offenders: Laura Fairlie (The Woman in White), Madeleine Elster (Vertigo), Sinestro (Green Lantern), Laura Bristow (Alias), Aunt May (Spider-Man)</span><br /><br />This method of resurrection is a cohort of either very strong plotting or very lazy <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqOT3Pgth2NxbWL218g8Zhka29xKQIcR0sYMxp0LvqYTnaTO9AuTDDzv6QwvT3wao2WyZmXMhNK6Yc5-RWPyiu8y9j3_zn7a5xZvmKFtsVMtieIfDjKdW2xoVH-vQqnuEEB7X54Ez4C5s/s1600/Madeleine.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqOT3Pgth2NxbWL218g8Zhka29xKQIcR0sYMxp0LvqYTnaTO9AuTDDzv6QwvT3wao2WyZmXMhNK6Yc5-RWPyiu8y9j3_zn7a5xZvmKFtsVMtieIfDjKdW2xoVH-vQqnuEEB7X54Ez4C5s/s320/Madeleine.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456168360958590914" /></a>retconning. In novels and movies, it often serves a larger purpose than simply allowing the writer the shock and dramatics of killing off a character only to use him or her later in the story. The results of the death and the discovery of the deception are the source of narrative tension and therefore the story would be weaker with an actual shuffling loose the mortal coil.<br /><br />However, this method is also famous in comic books and many television shows as a way for writers to bring back characters that they were annoyed at their predecessors for eradicating. A death certificate sometimes is less valuable than a Blockbuster gift certificate (the worst of all gift certificates). The person in question could have been secretly carried away from the plane wreck or had a secret compartment in the building just as the bomb went off. The writer could be particularly creative (read: ludicrous) and fabricate reasons like “Ah! But you killed a hard-light construction of me I engineered in order to drive you further to the brink of madness!” Yes, that is a real reason used. <br /><br />In short, Fakin’ It is rife with dichotomies. The recently-resurrected could have instrumented the plan or been a victim of it. It is almost certainly the case if there is no corpse but cannot be ruled out even if there is one. And, most oddly, it has simultaneously been behind some of the greatest films and biggest eyerolls of all time. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Army of Me </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Offenders: Ayanami Rei (Neon Genesis Evangelion), Hank and Dean Venture (The Venture Bros.)</span><br /><br />You get to have your corpse and eat it too. Or something like that. I suppose you <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgklFmPt5bRhzNDi2u3dUNdF337NflLMNJU6XoRVS6D7CGPeUjEcLrsRxUBfFw58htz5oSP6Z34N-a6a-dPDgUWlm4b5ykAwAj_IrcqQKkeCJMJKuJWYyxKb6LdqkC2DBRzGwrWm_SHqk/s1600/Venture+Bros+Season+4+Episode+3.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 198px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgklFmPt5bRhzNDi2u3dUNdF337NflLMNJU6XoRVS6D7CGPeUjEcLrsRxUBfFw58htz5oSP6Z34N-a6a-dPDgUWlm4b5ykAwAj_IrcqQKkeCJMJKuJWYyxKb6LdqkC2DBRzGwrWm_SHqk/s320/Venture+Bros+Season+4+Episode+3.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456168726879527330" /></a>could eat the corpse. The beauty of this convention is that it proffers all the joy of the bloody death (no escape hatch or faked allergy to honey) without requiring some hokey way to have a character drive Charon’s ferry in reverse. The character does die and does not come back from the dead…but you still get to enjoy their company. Why? Because some lovely figure (be it the writer or head of a government agency or both) had the foresight to store a few spare copies of this person just in case. This method also then invites all fun introspections on “What is a self?,” which intro to philosophy college students can gush over for hours!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Messiah Complex</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />Offenders: Neo (The Matrix), Aslan (The Chronicles of Narnia), Sailor Moon (Sailor Moon)</span><br /><br />Word to the wise: if you find yourself in a world with superpowers (oh, let’s say the guy you’re with can leap over skyscrapers or you have a piece of enchanted <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzuzjPwNb-3ywzlSsD3S2AbGQAZNwH8pB8angJ0DbaelatdTRhYUDu0XQy8pa_Hxshyphenhyphen8e0lx-39nv8jRaxA5XLbvLDPwmTU3cxqJNTXKvYZxUOczsnv86gykjx9W4QQ-94vbbR0hGDvZU/s1600/Sailor+Moon.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 230px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzuzjPwNb-3ywzlSsD3S2AbGQAZNwH8pB8angJ0DbaelatdTRhYUDu0XQy8pa_Hxshyphenhyphen8e0lx-39nv8jRaxA5XLbvLDPwmTU3cxqJNTXKvYZxUOczsnv86gykjx9W4QQ-94vbbR0hGDvZU/s320/Sailor+Moon.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456168941954791986" /></a>lipstick that turns you into a pyrokinetic superheroine), you really should not be all that cautious when approaching the subject of your mortality. Honestly, you should just assume that shuffling loose this mortal coil is a pretty much akin to landing in jail in the early stages of Monopoly. It will be an inconvenience, but it’s not the end of the world (neither, for that matter, is the end of the world). This point is particularly salient if you were to find yourself dying because you were nobly sacrificing your life for the greater good. That’s a “get out of jail free” card right there. There’s no way you’re going to stay dead. None. You pretty much hit the jackpot in Pascal’s Wager and won not only the glory for being such a noble, good being, but also that precious little thing called life.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Only Mostly Dead</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />Offenders: Westley (The Princess Bride), Norman Osborn (Spider-Man), Morph (X-Men: The Animated Series)</span><br /><br />They say that if there’s no body, there is no death. Well, sometimes, if there is a body, there’s still no death. As Miracle Max explains, there’s dead and there’s mostly dead. Mostly dead allows for the shock of the death and perhaps even the loss of a heart-beat/heart, but without the irritating finality of death. Mostly dead is very similar to “Fakin’ It” (in fact Norman does a little of both), but more often than not lacks the possibility of preplanning by the writer (with the exception of Westley) and is a frequent enough device that it deserves its own category.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-q4qjMyAAJF9xElXpDBMK0tnktq1E7CoXvOd-wpw44QCYyAsicDzY7A5RC1YeTy2IWD2LW74qqASX1ZsFqx-spIGqKs25sYaBC1vXV0uvUblm-yyNoBa3ZdFPeQ0V2GrMavCUKu_WJE/s1600/Westley.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 254px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-q4qjMyAAJF9xElXpDBMK0tnktq1E7CoXvOd-wpw44QCYyAsicDzY7A5RC1YeTy2IWD2LW74qqASX1ZsFqx-spIGqKs25sYaBC1vXV0uvUblm-yyNoBa3ZdFPeQ0V2GrMavCUKu_WJE/s320/Westley.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456169131775429458" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">I’m a Dark Lord. ‘Nuff said.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Offenders: Sauron (Lord of the Rings), Voldemort (Harry Potter), Dr. Doom (Fantastic Four), Megatron (Transformers)</span><br /><br />Word to the wise part deux: beings of unimaginable evil and power always come back after their first death, even more evil and more powerful. If you and your friends have just defeated the Great Terror Lord of Gonthrax, you should not be celebrating. If anything, you should be even more worried! All you have accomplished is chaperoning your calamitous caterpillar into the pernicious pupa stage of his metamorphosis of malevolence (where he will then reemerge as a bloodthirsty butterfly)! Granted, I do not know what the implications of this fact are when applied to the best-selling novel, <span style="font-style:italic;">The New Testament</span>, considering we have the death of a powerful being with multiple supporters, only to reemerge a few days later even more awe-inspiring. Maybe Jesus was actually the first Sauron. And all poor Judas wanted to do was pull a Peter Pettigrew and atone for his alliance with wickedness.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlMYUMv0VGllkk3nbCmrmdJkiSaGd5ZGJwwqn1gKsshpjoA_lFG9-GWrGiLD4reR8XZHBwESlQj8hQasCobk_BrZXa0CXwS5JQBk5OPJYyhkOs8n2gohE2wpOMmVWyWbCgb81qZXzH8FQ/s1600/Sauron.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 181px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlMYUMv0VGllkk3nbCmrmdJkiSaGd5ZGJwwqn1gKsshpjoA_lFG9-GWrGiLD4reR8XZHBwESlQj8hQasCobk_BrZXa0CXwS5JQBk5OPJYyhkOs8n2gohE2wpOMmVWyWbCgb81qZXzH8FQ/s320/Sauron.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456169370670191842" /></a><br /><br />I know, I know…I just committed a mortal sin; I confused <span style="font-style:italic;">Harry Potter</span> with <span style="font-style:italic;">Lord of the Rings</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Explanations! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Offenders: Daffy Duck (Looney Tunes), the crew of Sealab (Sealab 2021), Action League Now! (Kablam!)</span><br /><br />How does Daffy survive a gun-shot to the face (or a visit to Hell at the end of some episodes)? How does the Flesh reconstruct himself after being blended, run over by an SUV, exploded, crush by a block of concrete, etc.? How do the denizens of Sealab continuously survive the undersea holocaust and rebuild their home (and don’t say there is no continuity, because they reference past episodes)? WHO CARES?! Look at all the stupid explanations there are for characters coming back to life: Horcruxes, clones, lookalike twins, magical flowers, bullets that send people through time, cocoons at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean – sometimes the best explanation is no explanation. You know what they say: if you don’t have anything half-credible to say, don’t say anything at all.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hell-bent on Slaughter</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Offenders: Michael Myers (Halloween), Jason (Friday the 13th), Freddy Kreuger (Nightmare on Elm Street)</span><br /><br />This category is almost a subsection of Daffy’s category. Personally, I am not as well-versed on slasher movies as I should be; I’ve only seen the first one of each series. Of course, I have never really surmised that all that much energy is <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhWsoigRUMY6PVhQHZ4dJLsxNoQ9qsLp19J1qrTG2QNRAg3Qbb_iWdJuak3VCel9oniS98JB7XwSu0W6TUvypQhOVsSpDLUtwfpGz1qV7MQozYkRekdAq5E2Dtnh3Sfzk5j1vI9UBoFj4/s1600/michael-myers11.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 255px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhWsoigRUMY6PVhQHZ4dJLsxNoQ9qsLp19J1qrTG2QNRAg3Qbb_iWdJuak3VCel9oniS98JB7XwSu0W6TUvypQhOVsSpDLUtwfpGz1qV7MQozYkRekdAq5E2Dtnh3Sfzk5j1vI9UBoFj4/s320/michael-myers11.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456170231315269938" /></a>devoted to concocting reasons as to why that axe didn’t fully sever Michael’s head or how Jason survived the room of a thousand dynamites. All that matters is that these creatures have one reason to live: to exenterate the insides of every horny teenager on the planet. And, clearly, there are still horny teenagers out there. In fact, they’re multiplying in numbers! And sometimes this very increase in numbers is due to, you guessed it, horny teenagers! These guys can’t give up on their duty! They have a varsity-level commitment that I only wish I had back when I did track. Death to them is like a few broken bones to an Olympic gold medalist: enough of a reason to pause for a moment, but that’s it. Afterwards, they slap on some duct tape, grit their teeth, and continue the chase. And good for them!<br /><br />(I can express such sentiments since, as a horny 23-year old, I’m pretty sure I’m exempt from their eviscerations)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">I Had an Extra Guy!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Offenders: Pac-Man (Pac-Man), Mario (Super Mario Bros), Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGaWNJhm76rdSknxbae6p0guMvi57Mhw24qsHjE-rGQRLlae8mfH02_CRQPnOFd2j15H4qR5R5wzDnWpy2GPfvpZ6eStMtGTszSuO1PC84gL7KvyGAdW8EEYQd9HOIol8hjMKUXswiucU/s1600/c96ad044fc13718e0ec6ae58c08eb191_Pac_Man_Extreme.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 266px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGaWNJhm76rdSknxbae6p0guMvi57Mhw24qsHjE-rGQRLlae8mfH02_CRQPnOFd2j15H4qR5R5wzDnWpy2GPfvpZ6eStMtGTszSuO1PC84gL7KvyGAdW8EEYQd9HOIol8hjMKUXswiucU/s320/c96ad044fc13718e0ec6ae58c08eb191_Pac_Man_Extreme.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456170423758026530" /></a>Man, wouldn’t the world be an interesting place if you had multiple deaths before you truly died? I know that <span style="font-style:italic;">The Onion</span> did an <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/videogame-character-wondering-why-heartless-god-al,274/">investigation </a>on the personal psychological implications of such a reality…but there is so much more. Would people sell their extra guys (or green mushrooms, etc.) in times of economic distress, leading the rich to become nigh-immortals? Or, in fact, would people be born with different amounts of extra lives, which in turn would decide their level in society?<br /><br />Oh, the possibilities for anti-utopian novels are endless!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lazy Writing/The Fans Demanded It/Cocoon in Ocean</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Offenders: Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Barry Allen (Flash), Bucky (Captain America)</span><br /><br />Okay, so usually the writer will ultimately fall back on one of the aforementioned categories or a particularly special case of “cocoon in ocean” (yes, I already <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekNxtdhd4mNDOS1zZFnGueE6aJThpIvo0YKzAMPzLpI2HURLCTiXGh5CxK6W0_uNyXglQ_VnXTiMpCLzUY7RbbRrwlbcQl1qbPNOVJwfb4Vf25uIjOfYn-Qx0o3K0ACR0pjDffSqkmRs/s1600/299584-193924-hal-jordan_super.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekNxtdhd4mNDOS1zZFnGueE6aJThpIvo0YKzAMPzLpI2HURLCTiXGh5CxK6W0_uNyXglQ_VnXTiMpCLzUY7RbbRrwlbcQl1qbPNOVJwfb4Vf25uIjOfYn-Qx0o3K0ACR0pjDffSqkmRs/s320/299584-193924-hal-jordan_super.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456170661057183618" /></a>mentioned that, but it’s SO freakin’ stupid!). But some cases of resurrection are far more transparent than others. While I can half-buy into certain cases of averted death, there are points where the movie or telev – oh who am I kidding, comic book writer should just devote a few panels to his hand reaching into the grave and picking the dead character out of it before imbuing life back into him or her. Because, no, Barry Allen isn’t alive because of the Speed Force…that is unless Speed Force is “Geoff Johns wants it to be the Silver Age” in another language. What? Grant Morrison wrote that story? No, not believing it. Because, to be fair, Morrison is probably the only one who executed my suggestion. Seriously. Read <span style="font-style:italic;">Animal Man</span> sometime.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">It’s My <span style="font-style:italic;">Other </span>Mutant Power</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Offenders: Pretty much everyone who has every graced the pages of X-Men</span><br /><br />I could pretty much populate this entire list with mutants. Fakin’ It? Yup, Magneto has done that so many times he should probably meet with Dr. Ruth. Clones? Uh-huh. Even if you’re an X-Men and aren’t Multiple Man, a cosmic, nigh-omnipotent deity will provide a few clones of you just to ensure you can die tragically and still come back to grace the shiny variant covers of issue 300. And don’t even get me started on the last category I just discussed. <br /><br />I’m relatively certain by this point that one of the prerequisites for joining the X-Men is that the potential member in question has to have died at least once. That must be what X-Force, X-Factor, Generation X (oh, am I dating myself?), and all those other teams are force: acquainting the next class of mutants with the concept of their own mortality and their mortality’s mortality. The X-Men are the most elite group of mutants out there; they cannot be wasting their time dealing with death-virgins who actually get worried when a Sentinel beam fries Cyclops. Come on!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAb1E4P08dQqNvMoFZHiydJZysvlEA1kz2OHrMkvTBs25XdYsiR7L1PJbpTD0W9yWIs3gOhFpelaEazeqbM6BNTVcBGpcnqKqBQBGfaqv9LlaVqkZD3mL8W55vRTnsbTY4zwJgmu_qD5E/s1600/jean-grey-dies-1-100k.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 306px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAb1E4P08dQqNvMoFZHiydJZysvlEA1kz2OHrMkvTBs25XdYsiR7L1PJbpTD0W9yWIs3gOhFpelaEazeqbM6BNTVcBGpcnqKqBQBGfaqv9LlaVqkZD3mL8W55vRTnsbTY4zwJgmu_qD5E/s320/jean-grey-dies-1-100k.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456171096692303282" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMaXyJdSfm06fIJqu-0y-Go8MAX5euTZSmKrfCAJW7tE9i_JaXDbLdFijq4CptatIPN2ngMVtUNRHOxP9rTyr3guxkCtnJmKSVRuYKhHey34TgcquVshvqXXLX5XsvsAgLtH2LLwbC0Fw/s1600/jean-grey-as-phoenix-1-100k.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 315px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMaXyJdSfm06fIJqu-0y-Go8MAX5euTZSmKrfCAJW7tE9i_JaXDbLdFijq4CptatIPN2ngMVtUNRHOxP9rTyr3guxkCtnJmKSVRuYKhHey34TgcquVshvqXXLX5XsvsAgLtH2LLwbC0Fw/s320/jean-grey-as-phoenix-1-100k.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456171174042319426" /></a><br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bL6J7FJmy1c&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bL6J7FJmy1c&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Did I miss any of your favorites?Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-30768411878866193532010-03-29T19:04:00.000-07:002010-03-29T21:34:39.136-07:00Pop Criticism: A Shot-by-Shot Analysis of 3Oh!3's "Don't Trust Me"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibmlmV6h3_59E5tC9w6elBJGZ8bhMTRAK5pOpN_SS_lPB2fQ6FGYPBHG48gxhKQRAFW50yMS6DVbhKdKn7HhyphenhyphenOZv_z6ekHjvt-7uYn_SI_jw7ZDwgb_QWjmHVcMbqkmlVOzmauiprEPk8/s1600/3OH3-01-big.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibmlmV6h3_59E5tC9w6elBJGZ8bhMTRAK5pOpN_SS_lPB2fQ6FGYPBHG48gxhKQRAFW50yMS6DVbhKdKn7HhyphenhyphenOZv_z6ekHjvt-7uYn_SI_jw7ZDwgb_QWjmHVcMbqkmlVOzmauiprEPk8/s320/3OH3-01-big.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454243941886882242" /></a><span style="font-style:italic;">[Preface: This piece was something I wrote last summer while in severe essay-writing withdrawal (yes, that exists). It occupies that tenuous space between parody of a genre and actually being a genuine attempt - in this case, film criticism. I feel like it is too ridiculous to be serious, but a bit too earnest to be parody. This idea (ridiculous, yet earnest literary criticism of popular culture) was actually the original idea for my blog...however, I soon realized it was not all that sustainable...or would at least lead to a blog that was not updated all too often. However, this essay was alluded to in one of my grad school statements of purpose. In fact, that school is the one I will be going to. But enough about me. Enjoy and maybe even have a few nice flashbacks to the summer of 2009.]</span><br /><br /><object width="420" height="337"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mdB3Oyd5HtU&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mdB3Oyd5HtU&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />“Song is awesome vid is gay” (airballer 13)<br />“umm the video is kinda........... if you know wat i mean like WTF!? Lol” (aliciaboo12) <br />“This song rules I mean it but the video just sucks. Love this band and song” (Nevertrustme232)<br />“never ever ever trust a ho HAHAHAHA this song is kinda insulting to girls but i frickin love it” (chickyboheimen123)<br /> <br />These quotations are a few YouTube responses to 3Oh!3’s music video for “Don’t Trust Me.” After an initial viewing, one is tempted to dismiss the short film and the song as fatuous and misogynistic. The lyrics, with their refrain of “Don’t trust a ho” and their urging girls to “do the Helen Keller and talk with [their] hips,” elicit such a reaction quite understandably. The video ostensibly seems to be an accomplice to this ideology. It proffers us the enticing image of scantily clad women throwing themselves all over the last two men in the world. It submerges us into a stereotypical, imbecilic straight male fantasy. All the men on earth can die, but as long as two remain, they will still be king and women will persist to be objects that exist only for their desires.<br /><br />Or is this interpretation the case? Let’s look again at the responses. People who love the song find themselves hating the video or are confused by it. Some label it pejoratively as “gay.” In fact, this work may actually be undercutting every other music video that revolves around the scenario of “straight man singing as girls throw themselves on top of him.” For, upon closer inspection, every attempt by the 3Oh!3 to assert their masculinity, to prove themselves as the ultimate alpha males and the quintessence of heterosexual male potency, only acts to further feminize or queer them.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh_rI1eeC5yo1HO0E6supNVyUAR446hzIzWxJdwVJ3LWuqizaZ6JMnxRgJPreAyW_BrewN5T8GAPL_SgO3bML1IuzjAcNhnHg8LzVDnUL0fsr3pID7M5HETzA4ruVKdUZHZVE9_jrmo-c/s1600/opening+shoot.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh_rI1eeC5yo1HO0E6supNVyUAR446hzIzWxJdwVJ3LWuqizaZ6JMnxRgJPreAyW_BrewN5T8GAPL_SgO3bML1IuzjAcNhnHg8LzVDnUL0fsr3pID7M5HETzA4ruVKdUZHZVE9_jrmo-c/s320/opening+shoot.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454244605530946050" /></a><br /><br />The story commences by informing the viewer, “A global virus of catastrophic proportions has attacked the entire male population. Only two male models from Colorado survive.” For starters, let us observe that “the entire male population” has been attacked, not “the entire male population except for two male models from Colorado.” These two men are merely survivors; they have sustained the plague’s assault and lived. But does that which could not kill them really make them stronger? Or have they emerged unmanned, lacking their most essential parts?<br /><br />Even if they believe they have survived completely intact, they still have another problem: they are no longer in the world of men. Two male protagonists of this video have descended from their familiar world of men into the world of women: a world of modeling, chandeliers, and fine drapery. This reality is one without typical masculinity and the comforts it enshrouds its patriarch inhabitants within. The world of men has left them. The men have left them. They are stuck among the women and <span style="font-style:italic;">are </span>therefore women themselves. These two, stranded among 3 billion women, have can no longer rely on their phallic power of being in the majority. Instead, they are left unmanned with only their sexuality as a weapon: a situation traditionally assigned to women. The virus did not kill off all the men; it manned all the women, thus killing off all the women, but two.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb5SLybBHmkMb41IB1gDa_vdATSDMaOkNYBUdumttbnBtj0f85I51fvANf70yTR_bko5twnA70P-piapvIswbWdmx8_G4hCYWi4iECCe02V3g3T_NYMBkMsRm-8GnemAm78zZ5HEAvN8E/s1600/clothes+off.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 219px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb5SLybBHmkMb41IB1gDa_vdATSDMaOkNYBUdumttbnBtj0f85I51fvANf70yTR_bko5twnA70P-piapvIswbWdmx8_G4hCYWi4iECCe02V3g3T_NYMBkMsRm-8GnemAm78zZ5HEAvN8E/s320/clothes+off.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454244825377501842" /></a><br /><br />The two men have already (for lack of a better term) embraced their position as the new females in this society. They are models: subjects of the feminine (now masculinized) gaze. <span style="font-style:italic;">They </span>are on display for everyone else to ogle and objectify. They are in lingerie, their near naked bodies exhibited as they dance.<br /> <br />Furthermore, the underwear itself is important. It appears to be Ginch-Gonch underwear. Ginch-Gonch’s entire advertising strategies infantilizes its audience. It encourages men to be “boys” and “to live like a kid.” But are not kids always-already, by sheer nature of not having gone through puberty, castrated? Is not a boy inherently under the power of his mother? Are not mothers meant to “watch” their boys in order to control them? In the relationship of boy and mother, the mother is the man, and the boy is the woman. <br /><br />Yes, there are women in the first shot, and yes, they are wearing lingerie, but they <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrv977ovMHJFab3G3rxu5zGaPs_jC2SwJ2ZnzvRok6lBYkC1okBrvvumitEo0Eey6Pxvppuqvh775dv2dK7YBDHYLx0s-ns31EZ_xLauMMWQmBKx7sV5H_tLhnBx78rdH-a2arnefG7uI/s1600/clothed.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrv977ovMHJFab3G3rxu5zGaPs_jC2SwJ2ZnzvRok6lBYkC1okBrvvumitEo0Eey6Pxvppuqvh775dv2dK7YBDHYLx0s-ns31EZ_xLauMMWQmBKx7sV5H_tLhnBx78rdH-a2arnefG7uI/s320/clothed.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454245243588665714" /></a>are static. They sit in the background as motionless as the chairs they occupy. Are they even models, or just furniture? For the first minute, they are content to sit in the background, barely noticeable, as the two men entice our eye, and dance for our pleasure. Even the camera seems aware that these females are furniture. It cuts to them during the beats, but then in turn cuts to the lights in the same way. The women at the photo shoot are no different than the lights. They are necessary props, but not interesting in and of themselves. Finally, the two different beings merge into one self-same creature: the photographess whose face is obscured by her camera.<br /><br />The women eventually rise and dance, but are we even meant to care? 3Oh!3 remains center stage, dancing more than any other party. Why? Because we are meant to know that they are indeed the alpha males. This video is not meant to showcase the women that they can get, but the two men and their ability to get the women. But, through such an attempt to attest masculinity, the film cannot showcase the women and therefore can <span style="font-style:italic;">only </span>showcase the men and the men therefore become the women that are showcased. Even when Nathaniel (the one with dark, long hair) sings “Don’t trust a ho” he refuses to point at one of the scantily-clad women. Instead, <span style="font-style:italic;">he </span>becomes the ho. He imagines himself with breasts and then starts to again remove his newly-acquired clothes. He ends his refrain by saying “Don’t trust me,” since he and the “ho” are one and the same. <br /><br />Of course, by becoming women, 3Oh!3, being womanish men, are queered. We can already see this in the choice of Ginch-Gonch underwear. The line is popular among the gay community and even has aimed certain ad campaigns particular at the <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq6nRI5ECEIo-6Wi1VbercBl_KCxh-7C_hfD4sQRfXIxDZlAO6HWxziEVItxFIhIs27rD-Q3SZKNXBcP2NPOOgP-Rfir4_rFdaArP8wwcHEALjGs9JDIlxu1J5VrUyxGCNIr2JL0w_tMU/s1600/ginch.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq6nRI5ECEIo-6Wi1VbercBl_KCxh-7C_hfD4sQRfXIxDZlAO6HWxziEVItxFIhIs27rD-Q3SZKNXBcP2NPOOgP-Rfir4_rFdaArP8wwcHEALjGs9JDIlxu1J5VrUyxGCNIr2JL0w_tMU/s320/ginch.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454244960087387538" /></a>homosexual community. But this destruction of 3Oh!3’s supposed hetero-sexual normality goes further. While the women do rub themselves over the two models, the singers in fact seem much more predisposed with caressing each other. This idea, only hinted towards in the first scene, becomes nearly explicit in the wrestling scenario.<br /><br />The women in the wrestling scene are even more forgettable and invisible than those in the prior one. The photoshoot premise also seems to have gone out the proverbial window. Now we are just watching some sort of wrestling match, or more appropriately, we are just watching two guys all over each other. Sean (the blonde) at one point chokes Nathaniel and calls to mind asphyxiation as orgasm draws near. He soon pulls Nathaniel back by the leg, like a cartoon caveman about to have his way with his newest acquisition. He even is on top of Nathaniel at one point, ostensibly pinning him, but insinuating he could sodomize him at any second.<br /><br />The men in this manless world do not have their choice of women. By being alone, by being singled out against the world, they can only turn to each other, only have each other, and have been married already by their circumstances. Even if these men were attracted to women, they would still be queered. We have already established that as the lone men in a world of women, they are women. If they are women attracted to women, they are queer.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI-_2Q8cKgjB9X_iKCoxK9KhhxIjqlz5XLBmOJ67XXHYdf8x_Mu8ohBi8cCijaG7iIzqmpXr-JhXhyjGjZSqy3LL57AlLOZHDaJjZio9zwJex89NVOu-IF7GL47QL47u20DmjW52fR_3M/s1600/Wrestling.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI-_2Q8cKgjB9X_iKCoxK9KhhxIjqlz5XLBmOJ67XXHYdf8x_Mu8ohBi8cCijaG7iIzqmpXr-JhXhyjGjZSqy3LL57AlLOZHDaJjZio9zwJex89NVOu-IF7GL47QL47u20DmjW52fR_3M/s320/Wrestling.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454245392715399826" /></a><br /><br />Therefore again in this wrestling scenario, this display of masculinity, this showcasing of how strong their bodies are, of how well they could seize women, only transforms into another thing: how well they are at “getting” each other. The showcase is now of their bodies, and of Sean and Nathaniel’s bodies abilities to obtain Sean and Nathaniel.<br /> <br />Finally, the video transitions to its third, final, and most curious vision: the two members of 3Oh!3 (and those curious women) as cavemen. Again, their bodies are <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTEI1mpUB2-djFHHYs4pTqeUfYbVVW-PEkRiyTwJA0yOQBpuxV1skAB4xsL3HDYh0gnk8pGTfx-dXydboK0uzuTjF3OF2TQ-aRqZ-A41005Zu7L1uV8hDU81-eaXCoXxfhYqeMTnjr0-s/s1600/Cavement.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 228px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTEI1mpUB2-djFHHYs4pTqeUfYbVVW-PEkRiyTwJA0yOQBpuxV1skAB4xsL3HDYh0gnk8pGTfx-dXydboK0uzuTjF3OF2TQ-aRqZ-A41005Zu7L1uV8hDU81-eaXCoXxfhYqeMTnjr0-s/s320/Cavement.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454245597329091346" /></a>exposed and on display (Sean even tries to make up for lost skin, so to say, by stripping off the top of his wrestling uniform during this part of the video). Again, the women are forced into the background. Again, Sean and Nathaniel are the ones dancing for our pleasure. Again, they are the same as the props (or are they? Nathaniel seems much more interested in having sex with the prop bison than any of the cavewomen).<br /><br />Finally, the work reaches its climax when Nathaniel says, “Shush girl. Shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.” When only heard, this part is misogynist and perhaps even offensive. However the video undercuts that elementary interpretation. Sean is first Helen Keller as he mimes feeling his way due to lack <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi92jbsCC3lIgM89PyyQCEMq7bteZJDhDAbITeZ7zlP40kZlxYMyPVnXPeBfHWH6esBNWpncjSon6iwSQtNuZJs73DiOBet5GKVxDne6NQxPmfv6xfhVcWQvphAVQWQ4FBIgNKWFhe7rt8/s1600/320x240.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi92jbsCC3lIgM89PyyQCEMq7bteZJDhDAbITeZ7zlP40kZlxYMyPVnXPeBfHWH6esBNWpncjSon6iwSQtNuZJs73DiOBet5GKVxDne6NQxPmfv6xfhVcWQvphAVQWQ4FBIgNKWFhe7rt8/s320/320x240.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454245722521915106" /></a>of sight. Nathaniel soon joins him. They have placed themselves in the role of the ultimate woman of male fantasy: the completely castrated woman. In this role, they can neither see, nor hear, nor talk…nor penetrate. They accept their necessary roles as subservient creatures in what was supposed to be the society that they ruled with the last two remaining penises. This conclusion reaches fulfillment as Nathaniel is the one who “talk[s] with [his] hips” and showcases his anus for the world to see.<br /><br />Suddenly, the video goes fuzzy for a moment. We have reached critical mass. The proposed reality, this “Planet of the Apes”-esque world where women have the power, men are objectified and the subject of the gaze, and where the last two men are anything but men as they “do the Helen Keller” must collapse. A “proper” music video must take its place. <br /><br />The first image is one of the most undressed models from the first scenario, now front and center and ready to entice us, just like she should have been from the start. Next is Nathaniel, who wears the protection of sunglasses and looks out from them only to assure us that he has reclaimed the gaze and is using it. The photographess reappears, now emerging from her camera so we can see her whole face. She can no longer shield herself from the newly reconstructed male gaze. Finally, Sean appears. He is a fully covered man (we can’t even see his eyes), no longer the boy who paraded around in his Ginch-Gonch briefs. The first model from this montage soon reappears, just in case we still had any doubts what direction this video was taking.<br /><br />When the montage is over, Sean and Nathaniel fall. The former fantasy of the past three minutes is over, having already reached its orgasmic climax. Their charade of their post-ejaculation penises only works to affirm the fact that they <span style="font-style:italic;">did </span>ejaculate and therefore <span style="font-style:italic;">must </span>have had an erection for the entire three minutes. By falling, ironically, they become men. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFC697E5ma9BKz6D2lXptU6ise93s1PabuzAcCv29AYaN8fEDZi-RdJyYHAGf4GG8c3CAyGXtPsIViaOVnarCPzJh4He4d5q7MdaKvjMh-EZmXTZTgbT_NwdtDIB1uHxEN4TITTKUD6Ng/s1600/930_ew-3oh3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFC697E5ma9BKz6D2lXptU6ise93s1PabuzAcCv29AYaN8fEDZi-RdJyYHAGf4GG8c3CAyGXtPsIViaOVnarCPzJh4He4d5q7MdaKvjMh-EZmXTZTgbT_NwdtDIB1uHxEN4TITTKUD6Ng/s320/930_ew-3oh3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454246259801832434" /></a><br /><br />In the last 30 seconds, they are men and the women are now on display. They force their way to the front of many shots. In the wrestling match, they have gotten into the fight, just so they can be all over the bodies of Sean and Nathaniel. They even do the split jumps that 3Oh!3 had done less than a minute earlier. However, this new world cannot last, not even for 3 minutes. Once the women start moving, once they get up from their chairs, everything becomes unstable. The cuts grow even more frenetic. The furniture that the girls had mimicked flies around the room of the photoshoot. Furniture should not move on its own, and neither should woman in a music video. Do they not know the video was about 3Oh!3, not them? Finally, this world has no option but to combust, which it does in a symbolic mushroom cloud.<br /><br />Ultimately, this video shows us the necessary dilemma of the stereotypical rap video (i.e. that in which a bare-chested, well muscled man is surrounded by women fawning over him, e.g. Nelly’s “Hot in Herre”): the men must either showcase himself and his body and therefore become a woman, or he must let the women take center stage and therefore lose control of his video. Furthermore, when the video stars not a solo artist, but a duo (or more), this showcasing <span style="font-style:italic;">must </span>invite hints of homosexuality. When two men have their bodies on display, they are creating a type of gay porn no matter what they do. Their only other option is <span style="font-style:italic;">not </span>to be on display, which leads us to the former problem of loss of control.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-24661602695920764382010-03-23T10:14:00.000-07:002010-03-29T19:59:39.006-07:00Lady Haha<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoywXuwxo-hk7aIWyCQQ9Fd_WrYjj8IS733-6pqTI2HbdGDkyPcaymHEI3stD40Rios3_AlxAEwNScw4fUsI9IeTXJjJXKx86nuJHNtY0BRoAbij_QGOcjSpe4iVN3MfGMxAYPPAnlZXk/s1600-h/Gaga+Quinn.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 249px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoywXuwxo-hk7aIWyCQQ9Fd_WrYjj8IS733-6pqTI2HbdGDkyPcaymHEI3stD40Rios3_AlxAEwNScw4fUsI9IeTXJjJXKx86nuJHNtY0BRoAbij_QGOcjSpe4iVN3MfGMxAYPPAnlZXk/s320/Gaga+Quinn.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451883584357492850" /></a>Last week, I, like most Americans my age, found myself in a rapturous stupor over the nirvana that is Lady Gaga and Beyonce’s video for “<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ95z6ywcBY">Telephone</a>.” And then I, like many, listened to “Telephone” around a bajillion times, all the while thinking about the video. One of the roughly bajillion things I loved about the video was how Gaga says “We did it, Honey B!” at the end of the video. She sounds more like she just won the dance-off to save the youth center than that she just succeeded in poisoning dozens of people. <br /><br />In short, she adopts the tone of a supervillain. A Batman villain. And then, an epiphany: Lady Gaga would be a perfect choice to play Harley Quinn.<br /><br />We have a woman who dresses in outlandish costumes, who performs her entire life as if it were an eccentric burlesque, and who rarely appears without makeup. Nearly every video involves her joyfully committing homicide. In “<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ95z6ywcBY">Paparazzi</a>,” she murders costumed her – I mean, pop stars – one after the other and then proceeds to pose lasciviously for the mug shot camera. In “Telephone,” she theatrically dons a chef’s outfit (or Gaga’s idea of an outfit, which is plastic top and nipple tape) to prepare poison. She even dreams of having “a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I&feature=PlayList&p=C4B9C7326E087E89&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=4">bad romance</a>.” She is Dr. Quinzel sans the squeaky voice.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG8oJ8-B5Do-gql2HiisJEGrPhJmmptlGiGvTGyacdozxDRVcd0nHndC05mybIGId3HSSgxEdmBvLf2g1iPpv0vsRNN3peNtTN4wfWrQoV6mdQB_Sot85fuQjH78TssyPRidI2dmVjvlU/s1600-h/Sandwich.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 181px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG8oJ8-B5Do-gql2HiisJEGrPhJmmptlGiGvTGyacdozxDRVcd0nHndC05mybIGId3HSSgxEdmBvLf2g1iPpv0vsRNN3peNtTN4wfWrQoV6mdQB_Sot85fuQjH78TssyPRidI2dmVjvlU/s320/Sandwich.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451884243105882690" /></a><br /><br />Of course, having our favorite very <span style="font-style:italic;">very </span>bad <span style="font-style:italic;">bad </span>girl don a domino mask and greasepaint to play our favorite fictional bad girl is not without impediment. Aside from having to shape the character to suit the needs of the actress, there is the issue of how she could fit into the already established Gotham of the prior two Batman films.<br /><br />[Note: For the rest of the entry, I’ll be talking about Nolan’s Batman franchise, Ledger’s Joker, etc. While I still remain less than a fan of these, I’m putting aside any judgments for the sake of the entry. This entry would not profit from constant Nolan/Ledger-bashing, but should also not be read as a change of heart on the films.]<br /><br />While the character of Harley Quinn as is perfectly complements that of the Joker, <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfosS0a2KD207SJMKYfn6BD5CpTQgsZWS0Z01yzCe994tMyRnmMPDXGfdSZ7vpivSkh2srGFWiueY8RfE1o4nGiLiD0_vkUXpB05kvyHqZkJvyxL3M8VKP8cB6T_VxD7V08d7STboPvGA/s1600-h/the+joker.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfosS0a2KD207SJMKYfn6BD5CpTQgsZWS0Z01yzCe994tMyRnmMPDXGfdSZ7vpivSkh2srGFWiueY8RfE1o4nGiLiD0_vkUXpB05kvyHqZkJvyxL3M8VKP8cB6T_VxD7V08d7STboPvGA/s320/the+joker.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451884845522679650" /></a>she would be as much of an aberration in Nolan’s Gotham as Chico Marx would be. She is a predominantly comedic character, serving often to temper Joker’s darker scenes. While, of course, one could argue that such comedy in the face of horror only further twists the situation, this route was not the one taken in <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight</span>. Admittedly, we received bits such as the “pencil trick” or Joker in drag, but nothing so far as for him to beat a man to death with a rubber chicken or anything to that level. <br /><br />Furthermore, Ledger’s Joker (I speak of this Joker as a character that, to an extent, is independent of Ledger in so much that a subsequent actor would be drawing directly from this Joker than any other incarnation of the villain) simply lacks to inclination to create Harley Quinn. That prank was one for Hamill’s Joker. The Diniverse Joker had different goals and motivations than <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight</span>’s antagonist and fooling his psychiatrist to make her a clingy, demented girlfriend fits into such an agenda. Raising havoc as a two-person vaudeville act fits his modus operandi. Harley, however, fails to find comfortable lodgings in the social philosophy espoused by Ledger’s Joker. Just as Joker was reimagined to fit Nolan’s needs, so must Harley be recreated and reformatted to appease this universe. Even the staunchest of <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight</span> fans could not (or at least should not) argue that vastly different Jokers would inevitably create vastly different Quinns.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1zMxWX9r7VpV9KIhDAn0wp1XICt_chFMPhz1Y_hezLBDHi2BIEY0ZDxxzHVIhtfHnTeKEfG1v_cy2Z-czEULX95HMifMZMvrRhI61n7zYVZMAKi_eFJauT8nY-SkBBJNLYs8quUJYN9o/s1600-h/Mad+Love.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 306px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1zMxWX9r7VpV9KIhDAn0wp1XICt_chFMPhz1Y_hezLBDHi2BIEY0ZDxxzHVIhtfHnTeKEfG1v_cy2Z-czEULX95HMifMZMvrRhI61n7zYVZMAKi_eFJauT8nY-SkBBJNLYs8quUJYN9o/s320/Mad+Love.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451885408849610402" /></a><br /><br />Oh, and there is one other bigger problem: Joker. The aura that lingers around Ledger’s performance threatens to make any actor who attempts to play the character next appear presumptuous, disrespectful, or even heretical. Putting the Joker on film with anyone else besides Ledger behind those scars risks alienating the devoted fans.<br /><br />Now comes my favorite part: what <span style="font-style:italic;">I</span> would do!<br /><br />I am going to be fair and play by Nolan’s rules. The character has to be semi-realistic and threatening. And she has to be a product of Ledger’s Joker. Personally, I might add a few more jokes or quirks here and there, but nothing that would stretch beyond simply a writing decision; this screenplay would not be part of another reboot.<br /><br />My Harley came to me as I listened to “Paparazzi.” This Harley Quinn has never even <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDbRtIjJYfuLduZoC8pg23N5GkA9zusxAs5ddRk-L_3GmdK88rWKjhSdXKS1cMJAQY4B5JBtnTjfGXy_UFL3-HqnzygiTO-6iTW7ZAV81INSL6IyvuN7ECOSPmVHhQQh6GLEhhL0E1WcI/s1600-h/lady_gaga_paparazzi_promo_photo.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 244px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDbRtIjJYfuLduZoC8pg23N5GkA9zusxAs5ddRk-L_3GmdK88rWKjhSdXKS1cMJAQY4B5JBtnTjfGXy_UFL3-HqnzygiTO-6iTW7ZAV81INSL6IyvuN7ECOSPmVHhQQh6GLEhhL0E1WcI/s320/lady_gaga_paparazzi_promo_photo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451887964548010242" /></a>met the Joker. She’s just a fan. A obsessive, crazy fan. Think Squeaky Fromme and John Hinckley meet <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTCm8tdHkfI">the crying Justin Bieber girl</a>. She followed Joker’s crime spree from Dark Knight in the papers and instead of panicking, reveled in the brilliance of each act. Maybe she understood his angle, maybe she didn’t completely get it. Maybe she was so blinded by the spectacle and explosions that she never paid attention to whatever he was saying about soldiers dying vs. old man in car crash. This could allow for different concepts to be explored in this film instead of just rehashing the conceit of <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight</span>. <br /><br />So she goes on a crime spree to prove her love to Joker. Every bombed building, every mutilated face, every corpse is a Valentine to Mr. J. He could be dead or in jail, but either way keeps him off screen and makes her character even more twisted. Just like the Justin Bieber girl, she is convinced that Joker <span style="font-style:italic;">does</span> love her back, except the situation is a lot less cute and a lot more disturbing when we’re dealing with a thirty year-old instead of a toddler. <br /><br />And, I even play by Nolan’s rules so much as to allow for commentary. Where Dark Knight’s villain led to an investigation on terror and the subsequent war against it, this sequel’s Harley allows for a contemplation on the meaning of celebrity and fandom. Michael Jackson’s death led to a simultaneously circus and sanctification of the former pariah. Sarah Palin’s words about Barack Obama resulted in people sending the President death threats. And, were the filmmakers particularly ballsy, they could even comment on the cult of Ledger/Joker that formed in 2008. This direction would also coincide with Gaga’s own work, which often scrutinizes our relation to stars, fame, and pop culture. <br /><br />I leave you with a possible scene. Like I said, I would keep this Harley grounded…but as her motivation would revolve around the necessity of creating a show to impress another, I would allow her for a bit more theatrics than the prior Nolan villains…<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkqaznhah0Y6xIoyYlJsJZg90jYqUht9xKN3W5nsb8i5tJHZLTUGwe9ax2IoY_fSPLuqjvQuMC11o1OAJcCNVF8QfKIe838rN45kKg7z4I5kXOfyIJSOGKV2AG_fR8aihD2rzfEYbxg3Q/s1600-h/Harley_Quinn_by_PatCarlucci.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 209px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkqaznhah0Y6xIoyYlJsJZg90jYqUht9xKN3W5nsb8i5tJHZLTUGwe9ax2IoY_fSPLuqjvQuMC11o1OAJcCNVF8QfKIe838rN45kKg7z4I5kXOfyIJSOGKV2AG_fR8aihD2rzfEYbxg3Q/s320/Harley_Quinn_by_PatCarlucci.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451888559803558690" /></a>A street in Gotham. Two or three police cars at one end, speeding towards Quinn at the other. She puts one hand into a gun shape (an act often performed Gaga in her videos). The other holds a trigger to three explosives (a button for each one). She presses one button and simultaneously points at one car. The explosive goes off as she pulls the “gun” back. She does the same with the second and third car. There. Showy, but still nothing more than what someone in the real world could do with a little imagination and some high quality demolition expertise.<br /><br />So, Mr. Nolan, in the very likely chance that you are reading this (I’d rank it around 97%), I offer a truce between us. You pay me a few million to write the screenplay and I’ll apologize for whatever I’ve said about your prior movies. Though, I did really like <span style="font-style:italic;">Memento</span>. That seems totally fair, right?Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-3263060325247125612010-03-16T20:55:00.000-07:002010-03-16T21:20:55.638-07:00A-Drinkin' We Will Go!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8GhlMJA8h4rIS_oJOnSyZlQ3GgVBj4Ej8ni6FngG4OFcatymL9UxSHG9hHgAuOKswH-EzvYBHduc_mvo_PslbjyeME3dvrWnCuH5WQAKsXFTjUxa_-zdRgSkycgmKQLNavTG7vinxQp0/s1600-h/Misato.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8GhlMJA8h4rIS_oJOnSyZlQ3GgVBj4Ej8ni6FngG4OFcatymL9UxSHG9hHgAuOKswH-EzvYBHduc_mvo_PslbjyeME3dvrWnCuH5WQAKsXFTjUxa_-zdRgSkycgmKQLNavTG7vinxQp0/s320/Misato.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449448488362667554" /></a>Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! While I could do an entry on favorite Irish characters or green stuff or best movies with carbombs, I have chosen instead to do something far classier and more appropriate to honor such a special day for my fellow Irish-Americans. Without further adieu, I give you the ten fictional places at which I would most want to get drunk!<br /><br />The rules:<br />1. The place has to be fictional (not a real place that appears in a fictional context). <br />2. There has to be some precedent of alcohol readily available at it – enough so to get one drunk (so while getting schwasted in Wonderland would be pretty awesome, that’s not an option…and I don’t think Vizzini had enough wine on that mountain top to get all parties past the point of tipsy). <br />3. These are not in any real order. Not a top ten, just ten.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Sterling Cooper Advertising Agency (from the television series <span style="font-style:italic;">Mad Men</span>)</span><br /><br />One hand clasping an old fashioned, with the other one busy slapping a secretary in the rear. A lovely blend of alcohol abuse and sexual harassment, straight from the sixties (it was a simpler time). I feel cooler just from watching <span style="font-style:italic;">Mad Men</span>; I can’t even imagine what a boost (no matter how unjustified) to my ego it would be to knock a few back with Don, Roger, and company. I’d probably be under the table while most of them were still capable enough to make multi-million dollar deals, but as long as no one takes out any piece of John Deere machinery, I think I’d be okay with that.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEZcMLgB9Ym5FtaPiJx3D8MfSvEobhiJLt0NC9zPRZL6fgy49f0Jk6CL0hHZZ0jUc7Vr1FERPfoZ0yS9OdRhTjhuZAoVE3q9pZVDtVj-3Fn2hZm4Gy94s_aI78q3KhFDvalAyMJYn1p78/s1600-h/primary_cast_stairs.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 226px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEZcMLgB9Ym5FtaPiJx3D8MfSvEobhiJLt0NC9zPRZL6fgy49f0Jk6CL0hHZZ0jUc7Vr1FERPfoZ0yS9OdRhTjhuZAoVE3q9pZVDtVj-3Fn2hZm4Gy94s_aI78q3KhFDvalAyMJYn1p78/s320/primary_cast_stairs.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449449097561051922" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Rick’s Café American (from the 1942 film <span style="font-style:italic;">Casablanca</span>)</span><br /><br />Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, this one looks like one of the best. It has awesome live music, from “Knock on Wood” which always seems to be a crowd pleaser to the duet of the “La Marseillaise” and “Die Wacht am Rhein” to special forbidden songs. There is a delightful cast of characters (even most of the Nazis are a hoot!) with whom to converse. And if you provide enough of a sob story, you can get the owner to turn the roulette wheel in your favor. The only thing that would worry me is that I might stumble into some stray bullets if I have a bit too much “Vichy water.”<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiad9Qw5atSrXAnRuubzlvmm0SUpqkmDO9Vktzjoux54Do_4imOUyzUiBoHHl4_iPmOn7n8LTPImc4c2yuz5F5RUM0KNpAm5clGAB6Rmask7Rk0fLDtVT2JVkiskppkZKUBKVW7LqHH88w/s1600-h/Annex+-+Bogart,+Humphrey+(Casablanca)_06.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 253px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiad9Qw5atSrXAnRuubzlvmm0SUpqkmDO9Vktzjoux54Do_4imOUyzUiBoHHl4_iPmOn7n8LTPImc4c2yuz5F5RUM0KNpAm5clGAB6Rmask7Rk0fLDtVT2JVkiskppkZKUBKVW7LqHH88w/s320/Annex+-+Bogart,+Humphrey+(Casablanca)_06.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449448817683898162" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Mos Eisley Cantina (from the 1977 film <span style="font-style:italic;">Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope</span>)</span><br /><br />Grab a Blue Russian (or whatever you make out of the late Beru’s blue milk), brush aside that severed arm, and enter Nerd Heaven. And don’t worry – in this cantina, Han always shoots first.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimzgGYxM2Kb7rZYwvyW-IQOFmGA4OVxk6U7EJQwlaLirouBQQjpwy8ueld5eCfOnvfiAUZrgun0oljslmedcnRZDXufrk0wVheLd8B0N5RTsYNyBWfBnnmtDapXPONnRC2YnlFGTr_rY8/s1600-h/cantina_denizens_2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimzgGYxM2Kb7rZYwvyW-IQOFmGA4OVxk6U7EJQwlaLirouBQQjpwy8ueld5eCfOnvfiAUZrgun0oljslmedcnRZDXufrk0wVheLd8B0N5RTsYNyBWfBnnmtDapXPONnRC2YnlFGTr_rY8/s320/cantina_denizens_2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449449353273926626" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Moe’s Pet Shop (from the episode “Homer vs. the 18th Amendment” of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Simpsons</span>)</span><br /><br />Moe’s Tavern usually seems quite dreary, dirty, and unappealing. It only serves deviled eggs and one draft of American beer that I suspect is not the epitome of gustatory arousal. However, Moe’s Pet Shop is the best damn pet shop in town! Everything is more fun when it’s illegal and, in a perfect world, every bar would be a speakeasy! This establishments provides not only the draw of secretive spirits, but puppies, turtles, and all sorts of mechanical contraptions as well!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ8ExBbdGVHi6m3MJQ9VTx8LMrak6qargJvXvtSi4VZwJV6ykTGs_vGwmvpTIlkEDSgFgMvJ2vl_-1tZsRKwj3y_dxjqKsyYWeFzJUVoJE22h_kwf_RwSZ2JcX4rAgHwJKP61Ki652BAQ/s1600-h/Moe's.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ8ExBbdGVHi6m3MJQ9VTx8LMrak6qargJvXvtSi4VZwJV6ykTGs_vGwmvpTIlkEDSgFgMvJ2vl_-1tZsRKwj3y_dxjqKsyYWeFzJUVoJE22h_kwf_RwSZ2JcX4rAgHwJKP61Ki652BAQ/s320/Moe's.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449449620149995586" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hogwarts (from the, er, movie (?)<span style="font-style:italic;">Wizard People, Dear Reader</span>)</span><br /><br />If you haven’t listened to/watched Brad Neely’s brilliant <span style="font-style:italic;">Wizard People, Dear Reader</span>, go out and do that now. Then get back to me. Because his Hogwarts kicks the Cruciatus Curse out of Rowlings’s. Wine-out-nowhere spells, cognac by the fire as you speculate on Valmart’s next move, and swigs of peach schnapps amidst a tense game of Wizard Chess: this place sounds like a lot more fun than that half-decaying castle with a goblet of fire and a few broomsticks. My one caveat: if you’re starting to get beer-glasses, stay away from that wretched Harmony or the hideous Snake. You’d regret it in the morning.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBfhG1MsrDjGB4zYdQmWKc6Ck4t58y3Tjj4xGvD_CH6Qp_QFH62p4xHXlT7mk5T1XgXbYbE1Oo3mspiEffmzmUqb7oKQbbkpwNVT-A4AZwoYwbTcKSO3dlajJgLJXwDxuSBhrg-uoL-5k/s1600-h/emma_watson_rupert_grint_daniel_radcliffe_harry_potter_and_the_sorcerer's_stone_001.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBfhG1MsrDjGB4zYdQmWKc6Ck4t58y3Tjj4xGvD_CH6Qp_QFH62p4xHXlT7mk5T1XgXbYbE1Oo3mspiEffmzmUqb7oKQbbkpwNVT-A4AZwoYwbTcKSO3dlajJgLJXwDxuSBhrg-uoL-5k/s320/emma_watson_rupert_grint_daniel_radcliffe_harry_potter_and_the_sorcerer's_stone_001.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449450313788454914" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory (from the 1971 film <span style="font-style:italic;">Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory</span>)</span><br /><br />Candy may be dandy, but liquor is quicker. Aficionados of 70s cinema (or Gene Wilder films) will remember that part of the film with butterscotch and buttergin, which makes this a-okay with Rule #2. I’m just curious to see what this sucrose savant has dreamed up in his marriage of the two best vices known to man: candy and hard liquor. Gin that will make you fly? Vodka that will take you through time to meet Catherine the Great? Bourbon that tastes like a whole weekend in New Orleans? Oh, the possibilities are limitless!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7TkvG4uWFzwek_n2-lXeiWYnMGQ8Dmcewy0H6DcBk77EsDsv5l1krmcsMvNwYwb03IhUsJiJIQaurgw-AcuIr46It0LWWp3nzbejaAit9CBiCvwLjRwgPy1m5tQipA328d78u4QGXTss/s1600-h/WillyWonka.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 314px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7TkvG4uWFzwek_n2-lXeiWYnMGQ8Dmcewy0H6DcBk77EsDsv5l1krmcsMvNwYwb03IhUsJiJIQaurgw-AcuIr46It0LWWp3nzbejaAit9CBiCvwLjRwgPy1m5tQipA328d78u4QGXTss/s320/WillyWonka.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449450569790493074" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Walker Dinner Table (from the television series <span style="font-style:italic;">Brothers & Sisters</span>)<br /></span><br />Not only would I get to have superb wine in abundance, but I’d be treated to a show like no other. Every Walker dinner party inevitably ends in disaster and I’d love nothing more than to be able to sit in the epicenter of the chaos as it unravels! Who’s been sleeping with whom? Who is whose father? Who isn’t a Walker anymore? Can I grab Justin in middle of the commotion and ferry him off to the pantry? What better way to spent a Sunday night than guzzling down Walker Landing’s pinot as family secrets inevitably come out and this week’s rivalries boil over to a histrionic catastrophe! And don’t forget Sally inevitably breaking down in tears and cursing her late husband! Dinner, drinks, and entertainment! Sign me up.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO7e1B01JGCPjhsuCaPT3s9C4aAqMcFCJOZjAR4EUHuWK8e6O7q6z2lVPLzJkoBgPlSTnXxuRJ5Gb0VzNQEo9kklmfrg-5KkI1OC_bohr4IaNbQjmIZKEjOpoYb_vZJBGH7epwk1dPLn0/s1600-h/brothers-and-sisters-s3e1-20090108104101-7_625x352.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO7e1B01JGCPjhsuCaPT3s9C4aAqMcFCJOZjAR4EUHuWK8e6O7q6z2lVPLzJkoBgPlSTnXxuRJ5Gb0VzNQEo9kklmfrg-5KkI1OC_bohr4IaNbQjmIZKEjOpoYb_vZJBGH7epwk1dPLn0/s320/brothers-and-sisters-s3e1-20090108104101-7_625x352.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449451092919489634" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Jay Gatsby’s Mansion (from F. Scott Fitzgerald's 1925 novel, <span style="font-style:italic;">The Great Gatsby</span>)</span><br /><br />This locale is like Moe’s Pet Shop, but with a splash of Ke$ha (“Oooh-oooooh-oh-oh-oh, it’s a party at a rich dude’s house!”). It provides all the fun of drinking illegally but with the extra benefits of hobnobbing with the elites of the fictional 1920s, not having to pay a cent for any of the hooch, and exploring the grounds of an opulent mansion that only a generation both jaded by war and unheeding of economic depression can create! And if you like a twist of symbolism in your martini, there’s always that green flashing light across the water.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lucille Bluth’s Apartment in Balboa Towers or Señor Tadpoles (from the television series <span style="font-style:italic;">Arrested Development</span></span>)<br /><br />I could not decide between these two Bluth-haunts. Señor Tadpoles does seem <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjavkCHPvZm0EpHIJzi-NY5Fu-J628FYioXcPhhipVFB8tZs5LUKFKddFOafHxEhME2HjQEbyl2nKaOgaOAKP7yiZ01xdtRJ4beh5nraXKJ4K7zW-ndcvh-wihL4rRLX_ucpApJFFaQxiI/s1600-h/Lucille.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 181px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjavkCHPvZm0EpHIJzi-NY5Fu-J628FYioXcPhhipVFB8tZs5LUKFKddFOafHxEhME2HjQEbyl2nKaOgaOAKP7yiZ01xdtRJ4beh5nraXKJ4K7zW-ndcvh-wihL4rRLX_ucpApJFFaQxiI/s320/Lucille.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449451967806780066" /></a>tempting, especially as there would be quite a lot of people there right now for Spring Break (WOO!) and I could probably get a glimpse of some girls with low self-esteem (and maybe get into a drinking contest or two). However, Lucille’s apartment provides me with a unique opportunity: getting absolutely smashed with Lucille as we trade barbs. She’d probably win in the battle of words and drink me from there to Wee Britain without winking an eye, but the experience would be worth it. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Noonan’s Bar (from the comic book series <span style="font-style:italic;">Hitman</span>)</span><br /><br />This place seems like the quintessential Irish pub in a bad part of town <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhconGhiIW6Pu3fujL7SUXCpE7Ro2LZ0O7mHX0QJVr03pEBaY0FjfFu3PqtXvdytLkwq_kaOyHsNEXC02es59ADqrnkzwfKL1hyphenhyphenII_6T_8fk4BfMFhGODXUvWyg4rsZ8RSE3SP4_kJIO3w/s1600-h/tommy.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 194px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhconGhiIW6Pu3fujL7SUXCpE7Ro2LZ0O7mHX0QJVr03pEBaY0FjfFu3PqtXvdytLkwq_kaOyHsNEXC02es59ADqrnkzwfKL1hyphenhyphenII_6T_8fk4BfMFhGODXUvWyg4rsZ8RSE3SP4_kJIO3w/s320/tommy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449452082039135410" /></a>(practically the realized platonic form of that concept), which is already a decent enough reason to want to go. Now just make that town Gotham City and add in a demon bartender named Baytor and some awesome assassin patrons (and maybe a visit by Batman or Green Lantern now and then) and I think I may’ve found my dream place to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day.<br /><br />What places did I forget? Where in fantasy land would you love to destroy some brain cells? Where's a prose-portal when you need one?Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-32580283580728096122010-03-12T12:06:00.000-08:002010-03-12T12:44:03.294-08:00There's No Place like Oz<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3VWHWTNiLq2HBCktfLx1dugDjGukyJNgD-i-2T7Pn3ckccmRgdQ0B_IzRpjRljlcQZtW0nxpZfczcAMcra2IJZw0gTSHAxPlnLFTPpLh6FVogOARBp1lhi0952EAjX39EquSXj4aR2vU/s1600-h/wizard-of-oz.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3VWHWTNiLq2HBCktfLx1dugDjGukyJNgD-i-2T7Pn3ckccmRgdQ0B_IzRpjRljlcQZtW0nxpZfczcAMcra2IJZw0gTSHAxPlnLFTPpLh6FVogOARBp1lhi0952EAjX39EquSXj4aR2vU/s320/wizard-of-oz.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447849306884712978" /></a>The past month, I had a few dreams that have been parodies/homages of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wizard of Oz</span>. Naturally, I mean the movie, not the book, as the dreams tend to be Technicolor spectacles and involve me skipping down the Yellow Brick Road (since, ever since Judy Garland did so in 1939, there really has not been an alternate, acceptable method of travel along such an itinerary). Upon reflection, I realized that the best part of these dreams were that, in a way, they were just as valid as the “original.” After all, Garland’s Dorothy only dreams she goes to Oz and, upon waking up, I too can say to my friends, “I had the most wonderful dream. And you were there. And you were there,” etc. The whole idea of dreaming that one is in the dream part of MGM’s <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wizard of Oz</span> is actually quite post-modern if one thinks about it.<br /><br />I then had the good fortune of seeing <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wizard of Oz</span> again, on a big screen, at The Film Forum in New York City. I went there with my friend anticipating to marvel at the Technicolor and some of the aesthetic choices, and maybe the acting, but that would be it. I would appreciate <span style="font-style:italic;">Oz </span>as many do: a brilliantly done fable that has withstood the tests of time. I would see the movie as a masterpiece so elegantly simple, a tale with such a universal appeal, and the quintessence of imagination on celluloid. Hell, even the furthest Roger Ebert goes with glorifying the cranial aspects of the film is to say:<br /><br /><blockquote>``The Wizard of Oz'' has a wonderful surface of comedy and music, special effects and excitement, but we still watch it six decades later because its underlying story penetrates straight to the deepest insecurities of childhood, stirs them and then reassures them. As adults, we love it because it reminds us of a journey we have taken. That is why any adult in control of a child is sooner or later going to suggest a viewing of ``The Wizard of Oz.''</blockquote><br /><br />Upon revisiting the film, I was shocked to discover a movie with a tremendous amount of bite. In the act of creating an Oz perhaps more archetypal than that of L. Frank Baum’s novel, it still manages to parody and question the subject material. The <span style="font-style:italic;">Wizard of Oz</span> is simultaneously the classic <span style="font-style:italic;">Oz </span>and the classic <span style="font-style:italic;">Oz </span>parody.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjks5ALLPFlPDeVHmadGpSxKgm9qVsrk-hAYt8scI0K6Mf85G4RygY7wIrSEPMsCyJFibf4jWnRdPC8JDNqaPaMBc9ZL39rIcTCczz9zZYaFbTECMygJrcotEQKMTkgE5V8SAn_fvLad5Y/s1600-h/bilde.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjks5ALLPFlPDeVHmadGpSxKgm9qVsrk-hAYt8scI0K6Mf85G4RygY7wIrSEPMsCyJFibf4jWnRdPC8JDNqaPaMBc9ZL39rIcTCczz9zZYaFbTECMygJrcotEQKMTkgE5V8SAn_fvLad5Y/s320/bilde.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447849785159644306" /></a><br /><br />Before I go further, let me just add a few words to those of you raising Joan Crawford eyebrows right now. By the time the movie came out, the novel was already 39 years old and widely regarded as a “classic.” Of course, “classic” delivers both reverence and a propensity to be mocked. Furthermore, the film was at one point under the direction of George Cukor and eventually delivered to Victor Fleming to create. Both of these men were not simple-minded, idealistic artists who only wished to entertain children. Fleming had quite a few pre-Code sex comedies under his belt and Cukor, after leaving both <span style="font-style:italic;">Oz </span>and <span style="font-style:italic;">Gone with the Wind</span>, would find himself directing the bitchy catfight known as <span style="font-style:italic;">The Women</span>. While none of these facts automatically prove my prior paragraph, they should at least quell any knee-jerk reactions that I am simply trying to fit the square peg of post-modernism into the round hole of 1939.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKMpeVsg5f9i3X_dbmlJaAipPhXagavs9lOULqY9AFZGyA2u2iiBNqKQBrQF-s6M3bB4HI5KsFneNLoZsQ0JD8eghEJRPa0a-rqUXFdVC4Ezo73U7PFKG2b4SH0V-W1UftK97u5eT4MZI/s1600-h/oz_l.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKMpeVsg5f9i3X_dbmlJaAipPhXagavs9lOULqY9AFZGyA2u2iiBNqKQBrQF-s6M3bB4HI5KsFneNLoZsQ0JD8eghEJRPa0a-rqUXFdVC4Ezo73U7PFKG2b4SH0V-W1UftK97u5eT4MZI/s320/oz_l.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447849506638009026" /></a>Now for the film…<br /><br />As I have already said, the movie already feels like a parody of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wizard of Oz</span>, or at least an homage. Consider any parody/homage you have seen of the film. Most of them involve taking already existing characters and placing them in roles from the classic. One example which immediately comes to mind is <a href="http://www.spike.com/video/futurama-professor/2725579 ">Futurama’s</a>. As we watch Leela go along Martin Luther King Blvd (the renamed Yellow Brick Road) she encounters Fry as the Scarecrow, Bender as Tin Man, Dr. Zoidberg as the Cowardly Lobster, Professor Farnsworth as the Wizard, and Mom as the Wicked Witch. We would never simply say she encounters the Scarecrow, Tin Man, Cowardly Lobster, the Wizard, and Wicked Witch. Furthermore, all of the choices are meant to fit the characters to the pre-made roles from the work and each side (for example the Cowardly Lion and Dr. Zoidberg) has a role to play in the ultimate product on screen.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhonRKc1-VEHe_RJpphZiSTuFR19bkxme6yvuRX_r1JfQcOZX2jHS7KqeH87HQ8UpWZn8MsWbr-BTE-pNNAlcFFuv8UHgpRAVHy8_9if9XWlBYaItV5u0K46qzUUze_TvO3TGjk32BcVdg/s1600-h/Y+THe+last+man.GIF"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 206px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhonRKc1-VEHe_RJpphZiSTuFR19bkxme6yvuRX_r1JfQcOZX2jHS7KqeH87HQ8UpWZn8MsWbr-BTE-pNNAlcFFuv8UHgpRAVHy8_9if9XWlBYaItV5u0K46qzUUze_TvO3TGjk32BcVdg/s320/Y+THe+last+man.GIF" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447849961884090802" /></a>Oddly enough, we never seem to take note that the exact same concept is at play in the MGM classic film. We do not simply meet the Scarecrow, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, The Wizard, and the Wicked Witch. Just as we think “Oh, look! It’s Fry as the Scarecrow,” we also should think “Oh look! It’s Hunk as the Scarecrow!” Both are fitting matches, as Fry is quite brainless and Hunk had earlier been talking about a head of straw. Just as Mom’s inclination to evil deeds makes her an ideal choice for Leela’s Wicked Witch of the West, so does Miss Gulch’s cruelty make her an ideal choice for Dorothy’s Wicked Witch of the West. Mom’s choice of words colors her portrayal of the Witch; Miss Gulch’s hatred of Toto makes her green-skinned counterpart threaten “I’ll get you my pretty and your little dog too!” (a line absent from the source material).<br /><br />I could list the differences between the film and the novel for quite some time. But let me just sum up this argument by talking about how each of the actors uses his or her position to play to his or her own acting and comedic strengths. We are watching a classic vaudeville routine as much as we are watching a recreation of Baum’s classic. <br /><br />I could argue that Dorothy’s Kansas is more akin to our own than to that of L. Frank Baum’s and that, in fact, Dorothy herself has read <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wondeful Wizard of Oz</span>. Encountered with a similar <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg75aJTBI0GLvwPiahkEUP2eQaQU2J-VhjlAbSW7g_8suKvd8XLR0CSPI9afOyzvwKbwElUeohCe0x77oIraGtxsk-GyO1VlWepoFmk2g_Qe1btS0H7Hy6MSUtvRGxfX2XUWNTtnoB8KCg/s1600-h/book.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg75aJTBI0GLvwPiahkEUP2eQaQU2J-VhjlAbSW7g_8suKvd8XLR0CSPI9afOyzvwKbwElUeohCe0x77oIraGtxsk-GyO1VlWepoFmk2g_Qe1btS0H7Hy6MSUtvRGxfX2XUWNTtnoB8KCg/s320/book.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447850863958541490" /></a>situation and a need to sort out problems, she is taken by her mind into a world very similar to a book from her childhood. The characters of the novel are replaced with familiar faces and situations are modified to become more pertinent to her own crisis. After all, in the original work, Dorothy truly travels to Oz and we know little about Kansas beforehand. The mirroring of her Kansas life to her Oz life is a device unique to the film. Just as I have had dreams about <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wizard of Oz</span> that have reflected my own life (and have found myself not referencing the source material in my dream), so could Garland’s Dorothy have encountered such an experience. <br /><br />But I digress. The whole dream sequence (i.e. the meat of the film) is conscious of its own theatricality. Every character is an actor playing a role. The movie rubs its Technicolor in the viewers face more than almost any other film had or ever will. But with this self-awareness also comes a self-awareness of the sinister nature of a children’s story, particularly the very one on which it is imbuing cinematic immortality.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJnVRO0Op_sA-JBjnHyhz32sbMXfFHmwCY43WdjsK2pqRgoPZtdFy-9jpW-j8IvS2NNeqzrebpRL93y__4zjowOepjL-KIogP4MIMZUwQrtwjrbxCPnaDnxkMXXz9Y2T40irTJ6NspzM8/s1600-h/the-wizard-of-oz.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJnVRO0Op_sA-JBjnHyhz32sbMXfFHmwCY43WdjsK2pqRgoPZtdFy-9jpW-j8IvS2NNeqzrebpRL93y__4zjowOepjL-KIogP4MIMZUwQrtwjrbxCPnaDnxkMXXz9Y2T40irTJ6NspzM8/s320/the-wizard-of-oz.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447850189331976322" /></a><br /><br />This film is not a faithful recreation of L. Frank Baum’s children’s tale. Everything has an edge, a bite, and wink and a nudge to the audience. The whole celebration is Munchkinland is, indeed, quite manic, gaudy, and indicative of an acid trip. Most parodies will include some jab at Munchkinland. But look at Dorothy’s face during the event: she knows she is not in Kansas anymore and the film knows we are not in Kansas anymore. The entire transition to Oz must be anything but gradual. From sepia to Technicolor, from a world where the most action comes from falling into a pit with some pigs (twister excepted, as it is the doorway between Kansas and Oz) into a frantic celebration of nonsense and high-pitched singing. Whereas <span style="font-style:italic;">Snow White and the Seven Dwarves</span> and earlier children’s movies seem comfortable in their spectacle, <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wizard of Oz</span> both excels in such category and is at odds with its own nature. <br /><br />Furthermore, there is Glinda. Most people seem willing to write Glinda off as an <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv3TzBsUXOHwBl2gtFgUFkhHMrXhWLYXqoz6z1PmlxPRk0UfuTofAoFCr78R5G6mTUReeUWy5fhrsqEVS7niIy8qfwq1WeslHZv6TZiLWO1s3tSyWitrrev5NP3a5lMZ8SROgpcyPEmlI/s1600-h/Glinda.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv3TzBsUXOHwBl2gtFgUFkhHMrXhWLYXqoz6z1PmlxPRk0UfuTofAoFCr78R5G6mTUReeUWy5fhrsqEVS7niIy8qfwq1WeslHZv6TZiLWO1s3tSyWitrrev5NP3a5lMZ8SROgpcyPEmlI/s320/Glinda.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447850354285525522" /></a>empty-headed character of insipid pink goodness. But actually, Glinda is quite sinister. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So6MWJTnpyQ">Parodies</a> have noted the danger she placed Dorothy in by not telling her how to get home immediately (again, a difference between Baum’s novel and the film, as there are two different good witches and Dorothy only meets Glinda at the end). Yet her dark nature only begins here. Watch again the first encounter between Dorothy and the Wicked Witch of the West. Glinda pushes Dorothy towards the billow of smoke before pulling her away to “protect” her. Furthermore, throughout the whole exchange, she taunts the Wicked Witch of the West and practically paints a target on Dorothy. Even putting the ruby slippers on Dorothy by magic is a machination of the film. In this “parody” of Oz, the good witch is just as foul-minded and sadistic as the wicked one. At least the Wicked Witch is courteous enough to be ugly and to grimace. <br /><br />I could again rattle off examples, such as the effeminate, queer natures of the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion or the changed nature of the Wizard’s gifts. All I will say about the latter subject is that whereas the novel emphasizes the fulfillment of the characters and how they had those traits all along, the movie appears more skeptical. After all, the Scarecrow doesn’t even give a correct mathematical equation. Instead, the focus on that scene is the movie seems to be the deception and ineptness of the Wizard and gullibility of the others. Their gifts are as much of a placebo to keep them happy as a kid’s movie is a placebo to make children feel at ease with a world on the brink of war (or a dream to make Dorothy believe there is no place like home).<br /><br />And that sentence does bring us to the end. The end may be the most unsettling part of the film. Yes, there is no place like home, but there’s also no place like Alcatraz. We are ferried away from a tear-jerking scene where Dorothy says goodbye to the first characters we have seen display true affection and respect to her to the boring, sepia world of Kansas, full of claustrophobic shots and people who do not believe a single word coming out of Dorothy’s mouth. Is Dorothy’s final mantra the truth or merely a way to delude herself into happiness, even though she just abandoned her friends and the beautiful Technicolor world of Oz where she was a hero?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimuocXWKDo9xOOoUjyYBmPRk9vxOGf0jY_TpBQHXmIOvg37sPmui38K0oLw7-rTRfdI2IOFy-hnUcuIdO6JIVIxAOnvLPGE2zbyYIG10wycWlTZSbaRCnKnqMZJyp-MWS2dR_iB4_su2I/s1600-h/wizard-of-oz-cast.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 230px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimuocXWKDo9xOOoUjyYBmPRk9vxOGf0jY_TpBQHXmIOvg37sPmui38K0oLw7-rTRfdI2IOFy-hnUcuIdO6JIVIxAOnvLPGE2zbyYIG10wycWlTZSbaRCnKnqMZJyp-MWS2dR_iB4_su2I/s320/wizard-of-oz-cast.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447850547213391762" /></a><br /><br />In short, the entire movie seems critical of its own story and characters. It tinges “good” characters with hints of sadism, heroic ones with behavior not fitting their genders, and joyous celebrations with bouts of insanity. The very tale is a dark retelling of Oz despite being the iconic telling of the story. And, all the way, it manages also to doubt its own reality. The very novel is framed as a dream, not a reality, a world of fake sets and actors in make-up. Yet, would that make Kansas the reality? Are we comfortable allowing a world without color and with character actors on the loose in the vague pretense of being farm hands to be reality? I am not sure. After all, this reality is far less present than the dream and in the end, both are figments of the imagination. <br /><br />I suppose reasons like this are what grad school is for. I have only scratched the surface of the Oz question, one that most movie critics seem terrified of even acknowledging. Which I guess I leave as my final question: why has no one written about this…or if they have, why has it not broken into the world of common critical knowledge? Are we so desirous of always having one piece of innocent childhood to return to that we will, if necessary, turn something that was never all that innocent into it? In the end, I guess we are like Dorothy: ready to ignore the reality of our situation and, no matter the circumstance, click our heels together and mutter “there’s no place like home.” We do not care what “home” is, as long as it’s “home.”Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-80875479975578604472010-03-08T06:57:00.001-08:002010-03-08T07:04:20.816-08:00The BAH!scars #11: 25 Thoughts on the 82nd Oscars Ceremony<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivM0BhzKG0oKgdAiimWOZtyUihZzZ8SXbtRb66TZyazSw8MAHyDradiUri5KFaqKBhGgsYFh0DrBBdMNwsoRxC7EC8djahXCIA1hkSy2qT9W2XDxfqur7-mGeyDFc3CGB6aOrujnmVtt0/s1600-h/Oscar+Grouch.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivM0BhzKG0oKgdAiimWOZtyUihZzZ8SXbtRb66TZyazSw8MAHyDradiUri5KFaqKBhGgsYFh0DrBBdMNwsoRxC7EC8djahXCIA1hkSy2qT9W2XDxfqur7-mGeyDFc3CGB6aOrujnmVtt0/s320/Oscar+Grouch.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446278958597639058" /></a>25 Thoughts on the Oscars:<br /><br />1. The Oscars amuse me so much. Just think of the concept of all those actors gathered in one studio, all just sitting next to each other. The whole image is sort of hilarious when you take a step back.<br /><br />2. I am sick of Neil Patrick Harris. I know, I know – he’s the gay ambassador to straight people, which makes him Ellen without a penis. But his whole schtick of “I’m gay and I sing but I’m more or less castrated and it’s funny that I’ll dance with lots of girls because you know I won’t make out with them and if I do I won’t enjoy it,” is just tired. Can someone take him out to pasture already? <br /><br />3. Though, it was nice of the programmer to give Rob Marshall a job choreographing that number, considering <span style="font-style:italic;">Nine </span>may have destroyed his career.<br /><br />4. I dug Martin and Baldwin’s monologue for the most part. Particularly how it showcased why I want to be best friends with Meryl Streep. I really feel like I could say anything about her and she would just laugh merrily.<br /><br />5. What the hell was up with the stoic George Clooney?<br /><br />6. I’m relatively certain that the wife of Peter Docter has been crying since she first saw the opening 5 minutes of <span style="font-style:italic;">Up</span>.<br /><br />7. John Hughes so won the Dead Person Popularity Contest. And Karl Malden came in a clear second. Roy Disney and Budd Schulberg were tied for third. I was incredibly wrong. Also I wish the cinematographer for <span style="font-style:italic;">The Red Shoes</span> and the writer for <span style="font-style:italic;">La Dolce Vita</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">La Strada</span>, and <span style="font-style:italic;">8 1/2</span> had gotten more applause.<br /><br />8. The guy behind “Music by Prudence” was 1,000 types of fabulous. Why couldn’t the ceremony have opened with him instead of Neil Patrick Harris?<br /><br />9. I can’t believe that "The New Tenants" won! I was so proud of the Academy for a brief moment. Then they started just playing winners off very quickly and I knew they were back to normal.<br /><br />10. Maybe instead of playing those guys off so quickly, they should have cut that stupid tribute to horror, which only managed to showcase how much the genre has gone downhill. And I love how they said that it hadn’t been honored since<span style="font-style:italic;"> The Exorcist</span>, then proceeded to show clips from Best Picture Winner <span style="font-style:italic;">Silence of the Lambs</span>. It accomplished, though, proving the point that the only horror music ever is from <span style="font-style:italic;">Psycho </span>(apparently).<br /><br />11. And why the hell did they not play Jeff Bridges off-stage after minute 3 or so of his incredibly staccato speech?<br /><br />12. In things that would have been better than the prior two points: maybe showing some clips for cinematography? That might have been nice. <br /><br />13. I am so sick of “I see you.”<br /><br />14. The winner for Best Costume gave a pretty classy, small speech. Good on her.<br /><br />15. Oh man, the scores. That was the dumbest, most Oscar-y, pretentious thing I have ever seen. Particularly when they did The Robot during <span style="font-style:italic;">Up</span>. That whole display really defies commentary. I just feel ashamed for everyone who has ever danced right now. Ever. <br /><br />16. While I liked Michael Giacchino’s speech in theory, I was wondering if he was wasting his time a bit with that video camera. After all, he didn’t win for anything visually. Womp-womp? <br /><br />17. I thought the editor for <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker </span>was pretty ballsy when he brought up how the movie was a small, unfocused group movie and how he thanked the Academy for still choosing it. It seemed to reiterate the point brought up by the producer about how this is not the $500 million film (which got him banned from the ceremonies).<br /><br />18. Man, they were not even subtle about cutting away from the guy with the “text Dolphin” sign. Love that the Academy will give an award to the movie, but won’t actually care about its entire message/point.<br /><br />19. Was <span style="font-style:italic;">Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire</span> really all that much of an underdog? I mean, it may have had typical “indie movie” woes in the making, but after that, it had Oprah behind it and was a story about a poor child overcoming adversity with every “hot-button, but not controversial” issue imaginable? It had HIV, rape (but only really dealt with the victim for most of the movie), abuse, poverty, illiteracy, etc. Hell, the stereotypical “Oscar winning speech” (as evidenced in <span style="font-style:italic;">Wayne’s World</span>) culminates in “I never learned to read!” It felt as normal for an Oscar contender as they come. <br /><br />20. Furthermore, what was with Mo’Nique’s speech about the politics? Yes, the Oscars are political, but I don’t see how the politics were against her. It felt awfully entitled. Though it was <span style="font-style:italic;">incredibly </span>soulful.<br /><br />21. The Best Actor presentation was spectacular…in that it was overdrawn and hilarious. And it sounded like everyone on stage wanted to jump the bones of the actor to whom they were talking. Sadly, that did not happen on camera. I would have loved to see some Colin Farrell/Jeremy Renner action.<br /><br />22. Having Oprah talk to Fatty just made my life. And yes, I did giggle a bit whenever they would cut to Fatty.<br /><br />23. The two huge upsets of the night: <span style="font-style:italic;">Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire</span> beating <span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air</span> for screenplay and neither <span style="font-style:italic;">A Prophet</span> nor <span style="font-style:italic;">The White Ribbon</span> winning foreign film. What the hell? to the latter. To the former, at least we got to see the director cut to EVERY black person in the audience. <br /><br />24. This also meant that <span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air</span> walked home completely empty handed. Pretty sad for a film that, back in December, was the favorite to win Best Picture. <br /><br />25. <span style="font-style:italic;">Hurt Locker</span>! Hurrah! This win may is the first time in a while I was happy at the end of the Oscars. This film was the real underdog that pulled ahead (unlike P<span style="font-style:italic;">recious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire</span>). But the best part of the entire win was watching the intense bromance between the three stars going on behind Bigelow & crew.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-31204149983871787102010-03-06T20:11:00.000-08:002010-03-06T20:15:16.546-08:00The BAH!scars #10: The Nightmare Before Oscar Night<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZDIVjPdYXR-WYIkXRJOm0NdrUmRnn317NEd9dqfrUockrGrX7CQArIxHOm5R5okurSGrXlcBTyH_-l9UovWrcojCHMLnmKhyH_unGRVpW2Gcz3QW7o4YIajE3hjJf_2PXU3imzgPjxg8/s1600-h/Oscar+Grouch.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZDIVjPdYXR-WYIkXRJOm0NdrUmRnn317NEd9dqfrUockrGrX7CQArIxHOm5R5okurSGrXlcBTyH_-l9UovWrcojCHMLnmKhyH_unGRVpW2Gcz3QW7o4YIajE3hjJf_2PXU3imzgPjxg8/s320/Oscar+Grouch.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445740613096331474" /></a>Twas the night before Oscar,<br />And all through my head,<br />I thought of the picks,<br />That would make me wish I were dead.<br />Maybe my head wasn’t screwed on just right,<br />Or maybe it was that I wanted a fight,<br />But all the stars in Hollywood and all the –<br /><br />Er, I’m a bit confused. Anyway, on Oscar Eve, I have decided to post my Nightmare Oscars. These are what I would least want to see win each Oscar. At least with this post online, I know that no matter what happens tomorrow…I can assure myself that it could have been worse. And, if I am correct…well, at least I’ve guessed all the right picks.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Best Picture</span> “District 9″<br />Let’s face it: no one wants <span style="font-style:italic;">Blind Side</span> to win. If that is victorious, I have legions of angry cinephiles on my side. Here, I have to deal with the fatuous masses praising the Academy for picking a really relevant action film or something like that. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Best Direction</span> “Up in the Air” — Jason Reitman<br />I’ve already seen Ron Howard win once in my lifetime. I don’t need to see such a bland director win again. Daniels was a close second…but at least I could delude myself into thinking of it as an Aronofsky win.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Actor in a Leading Role </span>Morgan Freeman in “Invictus”<br />I can’t stand Morgan Freeman. Nuff said.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Actress in a Leading Role</span> Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”<br />See: my complaints about her back in earlier entries. Her win will just solidify that the Academy cares more about tracks of careers than singular performances. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Actor in a Supporting Role</span> Matt Damon in “Invictus”<br />I had no strong feelings here. Damon rides my Freeman-hatred just as he rode the coattails of his performance to get a nomination. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Actress in a Supporting Role</span> Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”<br />In my own version of <span style="font-style:italic;">Hostel</span>, I am just forced to watch Maggie Gyllenhaal’s performance in this movie over and over again. Eventually, someone takes pity on me and decides to instead drip corrosive acid on my balls.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Writing (Adapted Screenplay) </span>“District 9” — Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell<br />I haven’t been quiet about my disgust with <span style="font-style:italic;">District 9</span>’s script that was simultaneously cookie-cutter and heavy-handed.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Writing (Original Screenplay)</span> “A Serious Man” — Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Animated Feature Film</span> “Coraline”<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Art Direction</span> “The Young Victoria” — Art Direction: Patrice Vermette; Set Decoration: Maggie Gray<br />Only because I was most bored by its trailers.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Film Editing</span> “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” — Joe Klotz<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">District 9</span>’s was pretty bland, but Klotz lifted far too much from <span style="font-style:italic;">Requiem for a Dream</span> to allow me to be comfortable with his victory.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Cinematography</span> “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” — Bruno Delbonnel<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Costume Design</span> “Coco before Chanel” — Catherine Leterrier<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Foreign Language Film </span><br />Can’t say in all fairness. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Sound Editing</span> “Star Trek” — Mark Stoeckinger and Alan Rankin<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Sound Mixing </span>“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” — Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Music (Original Score)</span> “Avatar” — James Horner<br />Although I really want to say “anything that isn’t <span style="font-style:italic;">Up</span>.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Music (Original Song)</span> “The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart” Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Crazy Heart</span>’s music felt so manufactured to me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Makeup </span>“Il Divo” — Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano<br />Just because I am not familiar with it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Visual Effects</span> “Star Trek” — Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Short Film (Animated)</span> “Logorama” Nicolas Schmerkin<br />Yes, “French Roast” is the least of the picks, but “Logorama” just seems so damn smug when it does not deserve to be.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Short Film (Live Action)</span> “Instead of Abracadabra” — Patrik Eklund and Mathias Fjellström<br /><br />(No opinion on documentaries) <br /><br />See you on the other side of the tunnel everyone! Feel free to share your own Nightmare Oscars!Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-4463875559246264622010-03-04T15:21:00.001-08:002010-03-04T15:43:56.242-08:00The BAH!scars #9: Dead Person Popularity Contest<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7dncOSi4t71hrWM1w1t3WVAOWUor-TE4C9_NgW4aMng5BzwOJSe3fS5X13LPk0v9StCEbvmlnuitC7SSHJoO824_ZOeUG7RZ38h9kH7PMXF6pqUVJ6a-D7fCDarjbkdRFbsdUjlWYjSc/s1600-h/Oscar+Grouch.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7dncOSi4t71hrWM1w1t3WVAOWUor-TE4C9_NgW4aMng5BzwOJSe3fS5X13LPk0v9StCEbvmlnuitC7SSHJoO824_ZOeUG7RZ38h9kH7PMXF6pqUVJ6a-D7fCDarjbkdRFbsdUjlWYjSc/s320/Oscar+Grouch.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444923372180088386" /></a>Up to now, I’ve speculated and weighed in on quite a few categories and awards. But there is one I have not mentioned: The Dead Person Popularity Contest.<br /><br />For those of you who are not Oscar savvy, the Dead Person Popularity Contest is the part of the Awards show where they “pay tribute to those who have left us in the past year” and some people stay to hear who gets the loudest applause but most people go to the bathroom, get some chips, or make themselves another Inglourious Cocktail, Avatarita, or Hurt Locker Car Bomb. They are fools. This race is the tensest one of any year. <br /><br />Sure, there may be 10 Best Picture nominees, but there are dozens of contenders for this space! Furthermore, you never know who will win. One acclaimed director may seem to be zombie-walking away with this prize only for a beloved actress to snatch it from his cold dead hands. Obviously, I can’t weigh in on everyone who died this year. Some I’m not even sure will get mentioned in the telecast. Will Billy Mays manically smile at us on Oscar night? Will they honor one of final Munchkins to bite the Yellow Brick Dust, Mickey Carroll? What about pornographic thespians; is Jack Wrangler worthy of the Academy’s attention?<br /><br />Sadly, I was forced to narrow it down to nine people. I won’t get scientific (or pseudo-scientific) with it; merely just give some thoughts and speculations.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg39-sH3we5ancr6gImoxvXGTZNU00eV8DT8GA-KsferluNeaMox5oLE-nQMwPzXlVG14Qm7VGenvT7ykbZ0m7VCPc3W75Iv6zCglU7PMC-mPThJkvGJA9A6ZmGM4rRBCmNMvtEHVtjfQA/s1600-h/patrick-swayze-johnny-castle-patrick-swayze-3108859-400-5001.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg39-sH3we5ancr6gImoxvXGTZNU00eV8DT8GA-KsferluNeaMox5oLE-nQMwPzXlVG14Qm7VGenvT7ykbZ0m7VCPc3W75Iv6zCglU7PMC-mPThJkvGJA9A6ZmGM4rRBCmNMvtEHVtjfQA/s320/patrick-swayze-johnny-castle-patrick-swayze-3108859-400-5001.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444923994283748002" /></a><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Patrick Swayze</span></span><br /><br />This guy is, in my opinion, the current favorite for the winner. He died semi-young, valiantly, and tragically. He was pretty, he was well-liked, and he’s most associated with younger, innocent roles like those in “Dirty Dancing.” <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Who to cut to after picture is shown:</span> his wife.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Michael Jackson</span></span><br /><br />While MJ won 2009’s Dead Person Popularity Contest (perhaps the whole decade’s), this ceremony will leave him empty-handed. Hollywood looks after its own. Jackson may have been in a great music video/mini-movie and had a walk-on in M<span style="font-style:italic;">en in Black II</span>, but he’s not an actor.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who to cut to after picture is shown:</span> the cast of <span style="font-style:italic;">Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire</span>…as they will be the only other black people in the room.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuVn7eP14ED3URHjtS87Vq0EZQu3ZksPfA5HIf3A77-xspav9kX70s84C8XBzsBSHBeVMyIabCTmW9Bu7mbM80DJVsajGbHj2HizIBdKn-f0h1d96eyqVPd3dzulI5boQUcwfr-AGhWO8/s1600-h/pl_michael-jackson.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 256px; height: 232px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuVn7eP14ED3URHjtS87Vq0EZQu3ZksPfA5HIf3A77-xspav9kX70s84C8XBzsBSHBeVMyIabCTmW9Bu7mbM80DJVsajGbHj2HizIBdKn-f0h1d96eyqVPd3dzulI5boQUcwfr-AGhWO8/s320/pl_michael-jackson.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444923873433586882" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Natasha Richardson</span></span><br /><br />This poor girl looked like an early hopeful for the winner of the contest last <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHWqppnyZIDYcJC2-5mkS8CmJdvtiwunhEXfB5Vfwq_CcKLkQOVDZYa3bZcYQ1WOLFWg3HAh7952RPDLK3d9qlStadRTl8oqXFm62NzGuN5A_fCyvqnlW9b4FSStaqwp2veawD5zuYeNU/s1600-h/natasha_richardson.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 168px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHWqppnyZIDYcJC2-5mkS8CmJdvtiwunhEXfB5Vfwq_CcKLkQOVDZYa3bZcYQ1WOLFWg3HAh7952RPDLK3d9qlStadRTl8oqXFm62NzGuN5A_fCyvqnlW9b4FSStaqwp2veawD5zuYeNU/s320/natasha_richardson.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444924242649311506" /></a>March, right when the new season of contenders opened up. I remember thinking upon her passing that I might finally be able to make fun of Heath Ledger without getting a “too soon.” Little did we all know that the Summer of Death was to follow and she would just be a brief memory come fall, let alone Oscar time. She’ll get some applause, mostly out of guilt from forgetting her, but she’s just like <span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air</span> is for best picture: she peaked too soon.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Who to cut to after picture is shown:</span> Liam Neeson, or perhaps her kids. Slight chance of Vanessa Redgrave<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">David Carradine</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdKgs2ScaVOQOxF4O6qP5o3LePC51zmIBYJWOPR7BN-xQl0XPdyl_4WcyO0BQwe-2RvzFT3oGqYDflgbQX3pOg_kF-WsUT2WRZFzbuXBrEYogC-8oFCIr4pCOVxvpkqSPkhXfwgIu6bi0/s1600-h/David-Carradine1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdKgs2ScaVOQOxF4O6qP5o3LePC51zmIBYJWOPR7BN-xQl0XPdyl_4WcyO0BQwe-2RvzFT3oGqYDflgbQX3pOg_kF-WsUT2WRZFzbuXBrEYogC-8oFCIr4pCOVxvpkqSPkhXfwgIu6bi0/s320/David-Carradine1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444925890253023602" /></a>Considering how he died, I wonder what the reaction to him will be. His death seemed one of the quickest ones to joke about and (since he was never that prestigious or iconic of a star) I doubt the guests will hold him in all too much reverence. There will be some polite clapping, but that’s all they will muster.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who to cut to after picture is shown:</span> Quentin Tarantino<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Ed McMahon</span></span><br /><br />There will be a brief pause as people try to remember who he is, followed by much louder applause than warranted to atone for the prior lacuna in sound.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who to cut to after picture is shown:</span> some random D-List celebrity. Or maybe they’ll go all out and have Kathy Griffin appear just so they can cut to her after him.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Farah Fawcett </span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJiq5XxRcAFsiuoy4Q1j1wLi67z6HS8iobdoIBOj1qGmE4lCYWXv4PzD_AN0v3Hv-Pjd-DOjTSniWPrPkEotx41sQTFBy1mmMdzMSUTmzTDyBs5N3g3jA7ziYvJIaHBz_r5z6LQe9larU/s1600-h/farrah-fawcett.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 184px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJiq5XxRcAFsiuoy4Q1j1wLi67z6HS8iobdoIBOj1qGmE4lCYWXv4PzD_AN0v3Hv-Pjd-DOjTSniWPrPkEotx41sQTFBy1mmMdzMSUTmzTDyBs5N3g3jA7ziYvJIaHBz_r5z6LQe9larU/s320/farrah-fawcett.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444925517110179794" /></a>Ah, the girl who turned the death of Ed McMahon (and the earlier one of Carradine) into an epidemic of celebrity deaths. Her glamor and tragic death should have her in Patrick Swayze territory (or at least close), but unfortunately, she’s now most famous for being upstaged by the King of Pop.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Who to cut to after picture is shown: </span>let’s just hope they cut to someone instead of going straight to MJ.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">John Hughes</span></span><br /><br />He will receive a decent applause, but probably less than one would expect. This disappointment will most likely be due to the fact that he became a bit of a recluse for the past two decades and he is most remembered for pieces of 80s kitsch (and while Swayze will get more of the idealization from the nostalgia, he’ll get more of the derision and mockery in people’s heads). But he was quite a successful writer and director, so while there is still some good clapping in his future.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Who to cut to after picture is shown:</span> Molly Ringwald or perhaps some young teeny bopper actress who has no clue who this man is.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJZTdwZ-ffNgiH_OvKxLzADdDTDnyL-p6S_I_6PJLf2jBT1FPnWyVOwb7MtqGhMrowIm4bgqipulfJUdLk4MNgB50-2EQycHgnIWgeZHFzOgZyABWtcIxpQ7_05UODl_bnuZfWZhiG9BE/s1600-h/Bea.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 190px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJZTdwZ-ffNgiH_OvKxLzADdDTDnyL-p6S_I_6PJLf2jBT1FPnWyVOwb7MtqGhMrowIm4bgqipulfJUdLk4MNgB50-2EQycHgnIWgeZHFzOgZyABWtcIxpQ7_05UODl_bnuZfWZhiG9BE/s320/Bea.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444926802719780434" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Bea Arthur </span></span><br /><br />She’ll get standard “old dead person” applause. Reverent of her long career, but realizing that her death was not all that great of a surprise and it’s not like she was expected to do anything else of note. Unless she could’ve guest starred on SNL as well.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who to cut to after picture is shown:</span> PLEASE have Betty White be at the Oscars!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Brittany Murphy</span></span><br /><br />“Do I clap? Didn’t she OD? Wait, she didn’t? Are you sure? Okay, then I should clap. Are other people clapping? Would it be too much if I joined in? Well, some <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZtPvN3S93Fc_jfyG5fUdW05NIVT9i5PV7WSgsbRvnnmWkH9pZd27R2Ia2C4EOapEdEd_3vfjz9KznvWyBsdxAXxSOKZIpAhhUN4YeKumfkQCwm3fUmfGx565Ro4Ncc1leKkaKvUlm0Hk/s1600-h/brittany_murphy_grooms_3.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 159px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZtPvN3S93Fc_jfyG5fUdW05NIVT9i5PV7WSgsbRvnnmWkH9pZd27R2Ia2C4EOapEdEd_3vfjz9KznvWyBsdxAXxSOKZIpAhhUN4YeKumfkQCwm3fUmfGx565Ro4Ncc1leKkaKvUlm0Hk/s320/brittany_murphy_grooms_3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444926951820019778" /></a>people are clapping. Clueless was good. I should probably commend that. And she was in Sin City, right? Was I in Sin City? I think so. I got a check. Or that might’ve been for a re-airing of a Simpsons episode I was on. Man, everyone was in Sin City. It’s like Valentine’s Day but with hookers and severed hands. Granted, I didn’t see Valentine’s Day. Maybe it does have hookers in it after all.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who to cut to after picture is shown:</span> the next trashy girl to kick the bucket. It’ll be the camera cut of DOOM!Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-20532325032964360162010-03-02T18:35:00.000-08:002010-03-03T07:38:29.884-08:00The BAH!scars #8: Salute the Shorts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvbzYR4C19OJP9L7jqi1fhxZhQLMcOGLdsg0nOtRkQI7Hr8amBiAYkdptmQMxuUrRm3UFYntwgkUZ42meZGofPntdJs-OfsoNvSLu4wHVUJXWSJUrmmvyYxeuGC3338nEHWsDXU1bz8zc/s1600-h/Oscar+Grouch.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvbzYR4C19OJP9L7jqi1fhxZhQLMcOGLdsg0nOtRkQI7Hr8amBiAYkdptmQMxuUrRm3UFYntwgkUZ42meZGofPntdJs-OfsoNvSLu4wHVUJXWSJUrmmvyYxeuGC3338nEHWsDXU1bz8zc/s320/Oscar+Grouch.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444236215998670002" /></a>In a supreme act of nerdiness and/or unemployedness, today I watched all the shorts that were nominated for Oscars, both live and animated. A local Clearview was playing both and since I get two free tickets to Clearviews thanks to my Optimum account, I decided I might as well watch.<br /><br />Watching shorts in a theater is a bit odd. You are both less cogniscent of time (since you’re following smaller story arcs) and more aware of time (since after each short you know that X amount of minutes have passed, as they tell you the length of each short beforehand). Overall though, it was an interesting, different experience and something I’d like to do next year as possible. Now, for my thoughts on the nominees (in order they showed them):<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Short Film (Live Action)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Kavi” — Gregg Helvey</span><br /><br />This felt a bit like <span style="font-style:italic;">Slumdog Millionaire (abridged)</span>, though I probably preferred it to its chai-walling predecessor. Granted, there’s no gameshow and the kid doesn’t grow up, but there’s still the adorable young boy amidst that distinctly horrid poverty that only India can supply. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5oSq63vcnwJ4SccD00lszUSQg3FDFK8VnDeMpCAGx8SKN4kpDNBAjJkaZu000KKLXp4ZoAErbym7mO8HBuffdCruf-eLtVrA-yRiJyGnE6hsFRjlbTh5zTic678o1HJXxz9qInFd8s1A/s1600-h/kavi.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 185px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5oSq63vcnwJ4SccD00lszUSQg3FDFK8VnDeMpCAGx8SKN4kpDNBAjJkaZu000KKLXp4ZoAErbym7mO8HBuffdCruf-eLtVrA-yRiJyGnE6hsFRjlbTh5zTic678o1HJXxz9qInFd8s1A/s320/kavi.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444236460067178962" /></a>Thankfully, this time there’s no great tale of half-assed romance and a lack of fetishization on how exotic such Indian destitution looks. The movie hits a bit hard with its message, but at least it’s so blatant and honest about it, that I can’t fault it too much. Overall, this movie feels, well, exactly like a movie I would expect to be nominated for best short film (Live Action). This was also the first one they played and I was almost certain I was in for another ninety minutes of this. This film stands a great chance of winning though because of A) the coattails of <span style="font-style:italic;">Slumdog </span>and B) it has such a nice, relevant Academic message and the whole Academy can feel like they made a difference.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I’d rank it:</span> 3 of 5<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning:</span> 2 of 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“The New Tenants” — Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson</span><br /><br />I loved this short film/one-act play. I loved loved loved it. It occupies the same territory as <span style="font-style:italic;">In the Loop</span>: it’s so rude, <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJYFuvdt5RODj3jGYuyacTy__D1FcelBqBQYyvh3NuAvJ_kPW2lrB_ZQsEPrh5IDmOVHU7vhv1Rjbo5NfIaI0nElma_GAa89P17QCr7d9YWcl32tRBEuBiuKP68VMOA7XlKjW0DUiUbkA/s1600-h/new-tenants.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 230px; height: 230px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJYFuvdt5RODj3jGYuyacTy__D1FcelBqBQYyvh3NuAvJ_kPW2lrB_ZQsEPrh5IDmOVHU7vhv1Rjbo5NfIaI0nElma_GAa89P17QCr7d9YWcl32tRBEuBiuKP68VMOA7XlKjW0DUiUbkA/s320/new-tenants.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444236766931339474" /></a>vulgar, well-written, odd, and untidy in its ending that I am still in shock that the Academy nominated it. I’d go again (though 15 minutes late to skip <span style="font-style:italic;">Kavi</span>) just to see this film again. It’s funny, tense, surprising, and engrossing. I can’t remember the last time I found something that dark that funny (and because it got so dark). Furthermore, lo and behold: well-written gay characters! They exist!<br /><br />Of course, this same adoration also comes with the price tag that this does not stand all that great of a chance of winning. It doesn’t stand a horrible chance (I’d be it just behind <span style="font-style:italic;">Miracle Fish</span>…to the point where I almost had it in 3), but the two front-runners are indeed quite the front-runners.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I’d rank it:</span> 1 of 5.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning:</span> 4 of 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Miracle Fish” — Luke Doolan and Drew Bailey</span><br /><br />I just was not feeling this film. It was horribly slow (of course, where I say “drawn-out,” others say “Kurosawa”) and did not seem to have much of a point or pay-off. The child protagonist did not attract as much empathy as he required and I really did not see all that much of a reason to the final confrontation. But, it seems dark and brooding and contemplative and "hurray for child actors!", so I’m placing it at three for odds.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN94e6dsPzCtqXz6KCebXRsmkltHWnTtX62_TEr0EA-39QT3JxzqxD1DZD8uaGd2UagHUbjNTIUqsbXWAaOcD7__Q5yRxKpp86qLplP180UREMar7GM2DKMwypvBTdnDG7FXheKQbjzDo/s1600-h/miracle_fish.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN94e6dsPzCtqXz6KCebXRsmkltHWnTtX62_TEr0EA-39QT3JxzqxD1DZD8uaGd2UagHUbjNTIUqsbXWAaOcD7__Q5yRxKpp86qLplP180UREMar7GM2DKMwypvBTdnDG7FXheKQbjzDo/s320/miracle_fish.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444236882451243954" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I’d rank it:</span> 5 of 5.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning:</span> 3 of 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“The Door” — Juanita Wilson and James Flynn</span><br /><br />This film was beautifully done. The first minute or so, nearly every shot wowed me. The job remained strong throughout the rest of it. I would love to see the director and cinematographer work on a full-length film. <br /><br />The script, however, was not the best. So, I’m tempted to say “SPOILER ALERT,” but I think this film would actually be better if you knew the twist at the onset of the it. But, if you want to see it as the filmmakers intended it, please skip down to the next entry.<br /><br />I'm in the midst of post-apocalyptic exhaustion. Or at least, with very run of the <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifhLwYSM3x3BG4TlrToq-_zGmoTSc4kzRxEO6ayzhJfXgHiuSVR5l5Q_V6gcIiq31pENw4Xr1R7rbIss7hy_SNeUE4GS0w4GkovmDQ8jEuQVBS9SOdPysr_QBNqIAQFFMkJlU4jr1Nles/s1600-h/door.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifhLwYSM3x3BG4TlrToq-_zGmoTSc4kzRxEO6ayzhJfXgHiuSVR5l5Q_V6gcIiq31pENw4Xr1R7rbIss7hy_SNeUE4GS0w4GkovmDQ8jEuQVBS9SOdPysr_QBNqIAQFFMkJlU4jr1Nles/s320/door.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444237021065346386" /></a>mill stories of what happens after the end of the world as we know it. Yes, the apocalypse sucks. Yes, it shows a dissolution of society and your bonds are stripped down to a few people who truly matter/you can trust and something about materialism. I blame <span style="font-style:italic;">The Road</span>. It felt so abysmally standard that I think it obliterated my ability to enjoy an entire genre. Or maybe, on a more positive level, Jasper Fforde’s own post-apocalyptic setting in his novel <span style="font-style:italic;">Shades of Grey</span> was so odd, unique, and refreshing (his theory is that the end of the world will be very British and vanish in a poof of politeness) that I now find it difficult to buy into catastrophic works that take themselves so seriously.<br /><br />So, this short film leads us down a, er, road where we first believe it’s a totalitarian, post-apocaltypic futuristic society. Then we flash back to an incident that seems increasingly Chernobylish. At the end, we discover it was about Chernobyl. I really don’t think the movie gained all that much from hiding such information. If anything, it got itself lost in an increasingly hackneyed genre before finding its way out.<br /><br />But this film is both beautifully shot and has a nice important message. One is a good reason to choose it, another is an Academic one.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I’d rank it:</span> 2 of 5.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning:</span> 1 of 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Instead of Abracadabra” — Patrik Eklund and Mathias Fjellström</span><br /><br />This was mildly funny, mildly clever, but overall felt like a forgettable mini-indie film. This by all means is the winner of the “Littler Little Miss Juno Award.” Also, the “failing magician” joke is so much harder to make after <span style="font-style:italic;">Arrested Development</span>. I’m not saying you can’t make that joke…but if you do, you have to realize it’s like writing a novel about a man in love with a 12-year-old girl…you have gargantuan clodhoppers to fill. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I’d rank it:</span> 4 of 5.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning:</span> 5 of 5.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaY-Jik2sQQAo7jbGiQAu6_elSSGwzJhbi3mGNEa0MvweM5lWZrCi8v7LuoDnvfgRmknPAqg9UfOXFSUnwP-LWlsAgCqqbmuy1sXjWbI7o7jt-QhhrHlJeSxllynBv_czoi9bj81bT-FA/s1600-h/Abracadabra.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 168px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaY-Jik2sQQAo7jbGiQAu6_elSSGwzJhbi3mGNEa0MvweM5lWZrCi8v7LuoDnvfgRmknPAqg9UfOXFSUnwP-LWlsAgCqqbmuy1sXjWbI7o7jt-QhhrHlJeSxllynBv_czoi9bj81bT-FA/s320/Abracadabra.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444237230403618034" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Short Film (Animated)</span><br /><br />Before I go into the nominees, I’m going to describe a few thoughts on the overall experience. Firstly, unlike the live action ones, these nominees also came with three “highly commended” short animated films. I’m guessing this was because of the fact that three of the nominees were six to eight minutes long and one of the longer two was for Mature Audiences only, so if you were a parent who came with children, you would’ve shelled out about 10 bucks for under an hour of viewing time. One of the shorts was the Pixar one that came before up ("Partly Cloudy"), the other two ("Runaway" and "The Kinematograph") were clear cases of “interesting but not great.” While I would have put "Partly Cloudy" in the running, the Academy actually chose wisely with the other two.<br /><br />I noticed that all of the films were either wordless or in English. “French Roast,” “The Lady and the Reaper,” “Runaway,” and “Partly Cloudy” were all silent, which I appreciated. Such a choice really allowed for the emphasis of animation as a truly visual medium and also hearkened back to Chuck Jones's toons such as “One Froggy Evening” or the majority of “Rabbit of Seville.” I’m wondering if the other ones (as in, “The Kinematograph” and “Logorama”) were simply dubbed (since there would be more children in the audience) or if they were made for an English-speaking audience despite being made around the globe. I assume the former.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“French Roast” Fabrice O. Joubert</span><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbFhATUfuow&feature=related"><br />This film</a> was cute. I literally have nothing else to say about it that deserves mention.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzlyjHRrhF8cGaYRNsm8trJw5boEBA6bQjFgdkCTHXphtDqJEoSBdBBVyNs2iRR3JH3DGF-PA1d1Y65Naw-SeBPShBcQYkPrUGavHRHVhvnVUmgg2jdLcw8wfQPIBegBPNb2MGM6g7ZpI/s1600-h/french_roast_1.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 185px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzlyjHRrhF8cGaYRNsm8trJw5boEBA6bQjFgdkCTHXphtDqJEoSBdBBVyNs2iRR3JH3DGF-PA1d1Y65Naw-SeBPShBcQYkPrUGavHRHVhvnVUmgg2jdLcw8wfQPIBegBPNb2MGM6g7ZpI/s320/french_roast_1.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444237447517392642" /></a><br /><br />Wait, I was wrong. I did like how the “camera” was placed in pretty much one location/dealt with the window/reflection. That was interesting and nifty.<br /><br />Okay, that’s it.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Where I’d rank it:</span> 5 of 5.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning:</span> 3 of 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)” Javier Recio Gracia</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWlo1lOhMW5nKnbdtoZMxMKU0S5R4D8iwyr7LMY5luc_kGvdC7VVPEcAOmDnnmZgSBbnkP22Sm-7-E4cdB2BYGDaDcofPmrQoFuttoS-xmXILRQc5gWNs_nYN0q5AJjoqBRwW-9GVG0PI/s1600-h/Lady+and+Reaper.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWlo1lOhMW5nKnbdtoZMxMKU0S5R4D8iwyr7LMY5luc_kGvdC7VVPEcAOmDnnmZgSBbnkP22Sm-7-E4cdB2BYGDaDcofPmrQoFuttoS-xmXILRQc5gWNs_nYN0q5AJjoqBRwW-9GVG0PI/s320/Lady+and+Reaper.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444237614591322610" /></a><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9CQDKt8LVo">This cartoon</a> truly felt like the lovechild of Tex Avery and Chuck Jones. It had the craziness you can only get in a cartoon but tempered a bit by the higher concepts of animation to which Jones was partial. I mean, I can’t give this film higher praise than to say that it felt like it would belong in the good ol’ days when animated shorts preceded any movie.<br /><br />However, the morbid nature of this film will probably be its undoing in voting time.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I’d rank it:</span> 1 of 5.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning:</span> 4 of 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“A Matter of Loaf and Death” Nick Park</span><br /><br />This felt like standard “Wallace and Gromit” fare. Which is still very good. Okay, I’m going to attract some hate now. I like Wallace and Gromit. I really respect what it is and what it does…but I don’t love it. This case is not even one of “I don’t get the love/adoration.” I get it. I can’t even say I disagree with the logic behind it. But something in "Wallace and Gromit" doesn’t click as much with me as it does with others. I enjoyed this film, I found parts very clever and enjoyable, but overall it did not make too great of a lasting impression on me.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHa6HEGfZHrdLkIlisGiCHafX7AgDOZ6Dnqq98we3SIAv0wLyPNSGAjYMtP9du87wMwXf0y0yghZIos8i_jZ1ijOmvq6pXzYcwSIhMNndYL3cHdDT3_rg2kNu8o0sRwJKIBHWyEZR_bVI/s1600-h/loaf-or-death.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 185px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHa6HEGfZHrdLkIlisGiCHafX7AgDOZ6Dnqq98we3SIAv0wLyPNSGAjYMtP9du87wMwXf0y0yghZIos8i_jZ1ijOmvq6pXzYcwSIhMNndYL3cHdDT3_rg2kNu8o0sRwJKIBHWyEZR_bVI/s320/loaf-or-death.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444237967873318114" /></a>The namebrand nature of this short is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it is definitely the safe pick for those who do not know anything about animation. They at least know it’ll make a lot of people happy and no one will really denounce them for it (of course, no one really cares all much about this category anyway). On the other hand, it may have the Meryl-Streep curse. Wallace and Gromit are always in the public mind that voting for them does not seem all that special.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I’d rank it:</span> 3 of 5.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning: </span>2 of 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty” Nicky Phelan and Darragh O’Connell</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIDv1jJhoxY&feature=channel">This movie</a> was delightfully odd. Even in the frantic category of animation, it stood out like a cellphone playing <span style="font-style:italic;">Monty Python</span>'s "Sperm Song" going off in the <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid5Z24cYax3H-OFULVo5-xN91G6OmPuxzy2yoRIhN6SsicsvSsiTHSI79v7ex8NXfn_vzPFuzoYEtldPDwajOy3qyWxBdcMCgW8oz51AQIaPdqECZCYR4cSGvn-1E8g1mdZ_k1F67PcUs/s1600-h/Granny.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 162px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid5Z24cYax3H-OFULVo5-xN91G6OmPuxzy2yoRIhN6SsicsvSsiTHSI79v7ex8NXfn_vzPFuzoYEtldPDwajOy3qyWxBdcMCgW8oz51AQIaPdqECZCYR4cSGvn-1E8g1mdZ_k1F67PcUs/s320/Granny.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444238098747468370" /></a>middle of a eulogy. I was guessing this film would go one way, and it sort of did, but in the way that one orders a cheese burger and gets a halfpounder triple stacked burger with four types of cheeses, bacon, and barbeque sauce. It took “fairy tale retelling” to a whole new level. Six minutes of insanity. <br /><br />As for odds, this is one of those cases where I’m surprised it was even nominated.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Where I’d rank it:</span> 2 of 5.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning:</span>5 of 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Logorama” Nicolas Schmerkin</span><br /><br />There’s a part in <span style="font-style:italic;">Romeo and Juliet</span> where one character keeps asking questions to a group of musicians. After each witty response, he exclaims “Pretty!” and “Pretty too!” Everything is very clever, an enjoyable little trinket that is nothing of real substance by the point in the play when corpses are beginning to pile up and the stars are really starting to cross.<br /><br />I fear that my reaction to much of this short was “Pretty!...Pretty too!” Every use of a logo was clever and cute and enjoyable…but I felt an overall lack of substance. Now, were I to suspect that the overall message of this film was that, in the face of all this need for meaning, there is none and all you need is a bunch of “Pretty!”s, I’d be much impressed. However, I could not help but think that this was trying to make a point. And I worry that the majority of its point was a tired one about corporate America or globalization or the evils of the prevalence of marketing. It huffs and puffs with much gusto, but does not blow me over.<br /><br />This movie has the pretentions and the buzz. Game, set, and match.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Where I’d rank it:</span> 4 of 5.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where it stands in chance of winning:</span> 1 of 5.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2PSXE_cqHrlp0BSiiwHnD88gQ_SK4XQNZ9wzwPorWLU-5HbtYfRJ8IWbu8m-snLMn77Jc7KF7Y-l2w7H-xy4ZuJ1Wir-Faypm97ZEMX34vVA0g0KwAOiUCZGnoq_2FCCQueSPpRKmTOE/s1600-h/logorama2-550x309.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2PSXE_cqHrlp0BSiiwHnD88gQ_SK4XQNZ9wzwPorWLU-5HbtYfRJ8IWbu8m-snLMn77Jc7KF7Y-l2w7H-xy4ZuJ1Wir-Faypm97ZEMX34vVA0g0KwAOiUCZGnoq_2FCCQueSPpRKmTOE/s320/logorama2-550x309.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444238214530896322" /></a><br /><br />I'm sorry. I know I promised a lighter entry for the BAH!scars. That'll come on Thursday.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-1145472972753021832010-03-01T14:57:00.000-08:002010-03-01T15:04:06.476-08:00How I Learned to Start Worrying and Hate My Kindle<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDioqPq69rVl3bEj_6MhHbjEloJvLcs8dKiMDM6LltkmLPeMNT1zD9HpOc74azoLXGz31DZehZ9I6Lwwtb3dzDI47FXE5o6Z8qtM4ni8XF4CoKUU1_sX2HjRrqa_BWd2qz4-n2gUZgQKA/s1600-h/KindleDevil.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDioqPq69rVl3bEj_6MhHbjEloJvLcs8dKiMDM6LltkmLPeMNT1zD9HpOc74azoLXGz31DZehZ9I6Lwwtb3dzDI47FXE5o6Z8qtM4ni8XF4CoKUU1_sX2HjRrqa_BWd2qz4-n2gUZgQKA/s320/KindleDevil.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443804944494609218" /></a>This entry is going to be a bit more personal/auto-biographical than my usual work. This past summer, I received a Kindle as a graduation present. My mom’s fiancé (who is a standup guy) got it for me with the best intentions; he knew I was a bibliophile and thought I should try out the much-discussed “next generation of the written word.” He and his intentions unwittingly paved my cliché to hell.<br /><br />I was hesitant to use the Kindle. Why? Because I’m a clumsy fuck. In fact, only a few weeks after receiving the Kindle, I was at the foot doctor. I won’t go into my medical history, but I needed to get a cast of my foot made. The process required the following ingredients: my Fred Flinstone-sized extremity, the doctor’s assistant, a tub of water, some little-paste-like-cast-strips, and 45 minutes. Naturally, I brought a book. It was <span style="font-style:italic;">The Moonstone</span> by Wilkie Collins and I had purchased a copy of it at a used bookstore for $4.50. As you can surmise, this wasn’t a first edition. Good thing too since during the process, I dropped the novel and watched it plummet in that real-life slow motion that is only attainable when you drop something and know you will not catch it. <br /><br />That was when I knew that I could never really use a Kindle. Blow-drying a Kindle won’t do you much good. The Kindle also probably can’t withstand being dropped 10 feet onto concrete or a wood floor and I’m not sure how it will hold up against the sand at the beach. Your average paperback is incredibly more durable, for about 1% of the cost. Also, while I’m relatively certain that neither the Kindle nor your average book can withstand your everyday fire (because I’m sure literature-related accidents happen while camping), at least replacing a book (even if it is a new hardcover) is far less costly. Also, when I lose a book, I lose a book, not my entire library (and while you can redownload a book – for now – you lose all your precious notes, which are big for an English major).<br /><br />Furthermore, I just didn’t see the point to a Kindle. Yes, with music, I can only burn so-many CDs and tend to enjoy switching back and forth between songs and artists quite often. However, my mind is not so addled with ADD that I need a constant cornucopia of books from which to choose at all times. Someone once said that he likes having a Kindle for 14-hour flights. Let’s see. A page a minute seems like a pretty generous average, especially for an Oxford or Penguin classic. A book is about 450 pages, so that means that at most, you only need two books (and that’s if you do nothing but read instead of, you know, sleep, watch something on the chair in front of you, stare out the window, complain about the crying infant, etc.). Yes, two books take up a little bit more space than a thin Kindle…but I find those extra 50 or 75 or 100 cubic inches not all huge of a sacrifice, considering the drawbacks of the Kindle.<br /><br />So my Kindle lay dormant for the next few months. Finally, after about 150 days of residency in my room in its box, I decided that I should probably at least give it a chance. I was about to embark on an 18-hour car ride and was aware that (if I read in the car for too long) I had a propensity to get car sick. Normally, this problem is not a noticeable one since I don’t go on 18-hour car rides all too often, but I knew it would be inevitable this time and thought that maybe the Kindle would be better.<br /><br />Even if the effect was purely in placebo territory, it was there. Score one for the Kindle. <br /><br />I was starting to grow slightly fond of the contraption. I found the search function mildly useful as well as the dictionary. Of course, I was still not sold. Flipping through a book is just exponentially easier, and I really don’t know if there really is a way to rectify that problem, no matter how much better the technology gets. Writing notes can become easier if they add a pen-esque device, but then I’m sure I’d lose that and continuously spend money replacing that (and the current highlighting/note system is quite cumbersome). In short, the Kindle was not the godsend that many technophiles make it out to be, but it was not completely without merit.<br /><br />Of course, Nazi Germany had a great highway system, socialized heathcare, and was a forerunner in animal rights. (Hurray Godwin’s Law!) So something can still be demonic without being bereft of virtues.<br /><br />On the one month anniversary of using my Kindle, I went to turn on the screen and continue to plod my way through Cormac McCarthy’s overrated, self-important, and achingly dull <span style="font-style:italic;">The Road</span>. The screen mostly went on. But about 15% of it would not. Granted seeing “the boy moved ********************* said the man” was about as fulfilling as if I actually got to behold McCarthy’s oh-so-stark prose, but this was a matter of principle. I called Amazon and after about ten minutes on the phone, they sent me a new Kindle.<br /><br />This, as you may have guessed, meant waiting a few days. Amazon was very lucky I was not particularly engrossed by the molasses-esque pace of the novel or else I would have been most cross indeed. As it was, I was still quite cross. In all my years of reading, I have never opened up a book to find a page malfunctioning (okay, there have been printer errors, but I tend to find those when first looking a book). I felt as if I were living in some work by Italo Calvino, where I was in the middle of a book, only to find an egregious error and be forced to go searching elsewhere for literary fulfillment.<br /><br />I then got another Kindle. However, lo and behold, it came with broken wireless and quite a few hours of phonetime with Amazon only got me a third Kindle headed my way. In this third Kindle, I experienced the great joy of the Kindle’s autonomy and its desire to purchase a book when I was merely browsing. I must confess, I greatly prefer looking around Barnes and Noble, where I know that picking a book up off the shelf will not mean accidental ownership. Well, maybe if I ripped a page or something, but I would just have to hope that no one was looking. Another angry letter to Amazon, more agita, etc. etc.<br /><br />The Kindle brings all the faults of technology into the old-fashioned world of books. iPods may have errors, DVDs may have errors, computers may have errors, digital cameras, but all of these are updates on still recent technology. They offer a service you could not get outside of the modern world. The closest you can get is an acted play for a DVD or a Victrola instead of an iPod; one is far too different from the first and the other has a far more noticeable lack of drawbacks compared to its futuristic offspring.<br /><br />Here we seem to be going from singing a capella to an MP3 of Lady Gaga. The gap is too large to be filled by merely throwing enough marketing and lab work. In the end, the experience and medium is just too different. The Kindle cannot replace the book. At best, it can fill a book-on-tape-esque role, but I think even that is too much. Yes, the Kindle is growing in popularity, but I think most of that is because it is very fashionable right now and attracting both curious readers and people who are only starting to exercise that vestigial skill because it’s trendy. “No one” read books a few years ago. “No one” is still reading books. The only difference is everyone who is “someone” is reading a Kindle.<br /><br />Recently, someone dug up <a href="http://thenextweb.com/shareables/2010/02/27/newsweek-1995-buy-books-newspapers-straight-intenet-uh/?awesm=tnw.to_15kYx&utm_medium=tnw.to-other&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_content=twitter-publisher-other">an article written in Newsweek</a> which may have the title of the worst prediction in history. It essentially denounces any use of the internet. Perhaps this will be another such prediction. I certainly hope not. If I am wrong, I cannot imagine it being due to the victory of a superior being…merely a triumph of marketing. <br /><br />[special thanks to Ryan Oliveira for the photoshop]Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-77682554144775556092010-02-24T10:56:00.000-08:002010-02-24T11:21:32.333-08:00The BAH!scars #7: Getting Some Direction<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK-2gpqpgP500BXgTLvwQVsDTqIh75P9KTwE4rjobE6u1MLFwbQiHWXUd6mcjYI-S8i1Dr83MUSaZ150lqnKWzzbQvwgbLvDS-Lw6qBYS1ZPhSGSAMe7hSOZfnn-960IcrIXl-4UcmP2c/s1600-h/Oscar+Grouch.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK-2gpqpgP500BXgTLvwQVsDTqIh75P9KTwE4rjobE6u1MLFwbQiHWXUd6mcjYI-S8i1Dr83MUSaZ150lqnKWzzbQvwgbLvDS-Lw6qBYS1ZPhSGSAMe7hSOZfnn-960IcrIXl-4UcmP2c/s320/Oscar+Grouch.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441889100909868258" /></a>Time for me to finish off my predictions and ranting. Well, sort of. I have a few more crazy things in store for the BAH!scars before the big night...but before I get to those, time to do my good duty as a blogger and weigh in on the rest of the big categories.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Best Direction</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Avatar” — James Cameron<br />“The Hurt Locker” — Kathryn Bigelow<br />“Inglourious Basterds” — Quentin Tarantino<br />“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” — Lee Daniels<br />“Up in the Air” — Jason Reitman</span><br /><br />I'm a tad ambivalent about Lee Daniels's job as director of <span style="font-style:italic;">Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire</span>. I found some of the techniques interesting and effective at conveying what I imagine to be the feel of Sapphire’s prose. I appreciated how the camera really changed its style to fit each scene. However, the whole time, I was being irritatingly reminded that this was all just a trope on a much better director and a much better movie: Darren Aronofsky and his masterpiece, <span style="font-style:italic;">Requiem for a Dream</span>. Lee Daniels does well because he has chosen the right guy to copy. Furthermore, I cannot help but be vexed by the fact that Aronofsky has directed three better films than this (I have to reevaluate <span style="font-style:italic;">Pi</span>), but has not gotten a single nomination. Daniels of course gets it by making a movie that is almost textbook Academic.<br /><br />About Jason Reitman, I barely have anything to say since I found <span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air</span>’s direction unimpressive. As for feel, I’ve reiterated on numerous occasions how he went the completely wrong direction (see: Devin likes screwball comedies). As for camera, with the exception of two scenes, it conveyed the idea that Reitman would be more comfortable just directing a play with an innumerable amount of sets. The two scenes are the opening credits, which were horrendously obnoxious, and first scene of George Clooney making his way to his plane, which might have been a bit too flashy, but was just good enough to work.<br /><br />James Cameron clearly accomplished what he set out to do in <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar</span>, but I’m not sure where to draw the line between director and visual effects and I’m pretty sure it veers towards the latter.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span> is a director’s movie. It’s a good, but not great script, that is buoyed by a phenomenal camera and well-done performances. Bigelow perfectly captures the right feel, where you are nervous even after you would be in a typical narrative (like when the bomb is already diffused). She does shaky cam right which nowadays almost seems worthy of some laurels in and of itself.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HpAPwqne9hcZj52R9WBmR4K2L9D6d95OmvCxzhGzeCPFAklXuq_pzYQEfo801B1j4NXbGfHbb0FIne4dMtsaKBFoc9nkzs_YuHnuzXrREmJp-dLA1Fva8mA-7udYSKY6AO2Y9QNZ5jY/s1600-h/hurtlockerinterview1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HpAPwqne9hcZj52R9WBmR4K2L9D6d95OmvCxzhGzeCPFAklXuq_pzYQEfo801B1j4NXbGfHbb0FIne4dMtsaKBFoc9nkzs_YuHnuzXrREmJp-dLA1Fva8mA-7udYSKY6AO2Y9QNZ5jY/s320/hurtlockerinterview1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441891691795383730" /></a><br /><br />Finally, there’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Inglourious Basterds</span>. Like I’ve said earlier, I think this might be one of the best films of the decade. As you may have guessed, Tarantino’s direction is definitely responsible for a good chunk of that. But, like Best Picture, this is ultimately a race between Bigelow and Cameron – the gritty vs. the pretty. While Best Picture seems tougher to call, I can say that Bigelow has a more noticeable lead here. Not so much that Cameron taking it from her is unthinkable, but as I see it, either the Academy will split the vote or give director and picture to the same film (okay, that’s a bit of a tautology). If they give it to the same film, it’ll be more on quality and therefore <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span> will get both. If they split it, they’ll do so to appease more people. They’ll give <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar </span>the big prize to really appease the masses and give Bigelow the slightly less important Best Director to appease the film geeks.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who will will:</span> Kathryn Bigelow<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who should win:</span> Quentin Tarantino, though I’m quite fine with Bigelow<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFGztyGgTRUsPsC0tdecRtHHnoiJS0tVwvD6whLR1eFqCpPNyQtJgxfNOwVKGxhPJOvptxvsbl3t-utJw-u4AbQp9Pej-LL36Ub9KPZ902-8nzYzydpO_I3ovRpYt6dFNVhuEyyq4XI9A/s1600-h/basterds2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFGztyGgTRUsPsC0tdecRtHHnoiJS0tVwvD6whLR1eFqCpPNyQtJgxfNOwVKGxhPJOvptxvsbl3t-utJw-u4AbQp9Pej-LL36Ub9KPZ902-8nzYzydpO_I3ovRpYt6dFNVhuEyyq4XI9A/s320/basterds2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441891800055849762" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Writing (Original Screenplay)</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“The Hurt Locker” — Written by Mark Boal<br />“Inglourious Basterds” — Written by Quentin Tarantino<br />“The Messenger” — Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman<br />“A Serious Man” — Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen<br />“Up” — Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigGqN3lH77nsPZYJS-pahCAAepWomLgdABZxAvAoYY3HLjD2aU5g5GjALjktObGBqYWPkR4KswphXB5fG7fHyIvBYpQJKethgxRleLfv129S1SvK3GDzWLVJnHORPVepavBSQgUsBAw2I/s1600-h/messenger.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigGqN3lH77nsPZYJS-pahCAAepWomLgdABZxAvAoYY3HLjD2aU5g5GjALjktObGBqYWPkR4KswphXB5fG7fHyIvBYpQJKethgxRleLfv129S1SvK3GDzWLVJnHORPVepavBSQgUsBAw2I/s320/messenger.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441892074838867474" /></a>Aside from <span style="font-style:italic;">A Serious Man</span>, I would not be too upset over any of these choices. <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span> in my opinion is a bit weaker in the script department than acting or direction, but not so much that I would find its winning a grave injustice. <span style="font-style:italic;">The Messenger</span> is probably in a similar category but I would simply be amused by the oddness of such a small, not-known independent film winning over 4 Best Picture nominations. <span style="font-style:italic;">Up </span>would be a perfectly suitable winner, though the Academy’s anti-animation prejudice is far reaching. Finally, there’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Inglourious Basterds</span>. This movie will probably not take home too many awards in March (aside from Waltz’s), but it has a strong likelihood of winning this award. Despite bouts of extreme violence, this movie is all about dialogues between characters in the way that only Tarantino can deliver it (along with some great mini-monologues). The Academy may tend to lean towards a sweep (as is their habit) and go with <span style="font-style:italic;">Hurt Locker</span>, but they might also try to throw Tarantino his bone. Ultimately, this is probably one of the closest races of the year, and I myself go back and forth on who will win day after day.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who will win:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">Inglourious Basterds</span> – too close to call. If forced at gunpoint, I’d choose <span style="font-style:italic;">Basterds</span>, if only because that’s what I want.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who should win:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Inglourious Basterds</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Writing (Adapted Screenplay)</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“District 9” — Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell<br />“An Education” — Screenplay by Nick Hornby<br />“In the Loop” — Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche<br />“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” — Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher<br />“Up in the Air” — Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner</span><br /><br />The great irony here is that the surprise nomination (and the one that has not the slightest hope of winning) is clearly the best of the five screenplays. In fact, it may be one of the best of the ten. But sadly, <span style="font-style:italic;">In the Loop</span> is too clever, too rude, and far too problematic to dream of ever taking home a little gold man. After seeing the film, I was even surprised that the Academy deemed to nominate it.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN-GbeKlqUKL3U5LRQGR7bE8C320C6SFGclh-zoo_GbzHaoLLAqJ9uvydFXODpNrMQxsun_jDMnOk3o13Om-knHwnbumjW3rNp0XETV5eh9AQtE_D6bHDbDADXfyu6uToQ_XhDhaXlbws/s1600-h/in_the_loop.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 217px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN-GbeKlqUKL3U5LRQGR7bE8C320C6SFGclh-zoo_GbzHaoLLAqJ9uvydFXODpNrMQxsun_jDMnOk3o13Om-knHwnbumjW3rNp0XETV5eh9AQtE_D6bHDbDADXfyu6uToQ_XhDhaXlbws/s320/in_the_loop.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441890153648402930" /></a>Also, little aside: I keep going back and forth on whether or not this script deserves to be in the Adapted category. While the scenario is based on a television show and one of the characters comes from that show, the story, dialogue, and majority of the characters are original. So yes, while this is not 100% from nothing…how could this be Adapted when <span style="font-style:italic;">Milk </span>last year was under original screenplay?<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">An Education</span> is the only other film I would be reasonably fine with seeing win this award. The dialogue is great, dramatic (and at times melodramatic) without losing itself (it constantly remains aware that the characters are prone to overreacting) and at other times just hilarious. Nowhere near as good as <span style="font-style:italic;">In the Loop</span>’s, but very few screenplays this year are.<br /><br />I’ve already gone into depth about my hated of District 9’s script and my warm to lukewarm about <span style="font-style:italic;">Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire</span>. As for <span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air</span>, I still do not get the love for this film’s “cleverness” or “wit” or “originality” or what-have-you. I mean, all of that love makes this the clear frontrunner and has guaranteed this film at least one prize…I just don’t see from where the love grows.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who will win:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air.</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who should win: </span><span style="font-style:italic;">In the Loop.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Animated Feature Film</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Coraline”<br />“Fantastic Mr. Fox”<br />“The Princess and the Frog”<br />“The Secret of Kells”<br />“Up”</span><br /><br />Neither <span style="font-style:italic;">The Secret of Kells</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">Coraline </span>stand a chance. This is a symbolic race, between computer, stop-motion, and cell-animation. <span style="font-style:italic;">The Secret of Kells</span> winning will mean nothing since nobody has seen it (including yours truly) and <span style="font-style:italic;">Coraline </span>is not as emblematic (or good) an entry as <span style="font-style:italic;">Fantastic Mr. Fox</span> when it comes to stop-motion animation. Yeah, I did not really like <span style="font-style:italic;">Coraline </span>all that much. It was…good, but that was about it. I imagine how I felt about its style is akin to how many felt upon watching (and disliking) <span style="font-style:italic;">Juno </span>with all its hipster affections. I love <span style="font-style:italic;">Nightmare Before Christmas</span>, but all the Hot-Topic-Girl’s-Jerk-off Fantasy, semi-Tim-Burton-esque, mainstream-alternative style of <span style="font-style:italic;">Coraline </span>bothered me. It wasn’t quirky or disturbing or whatever the designers were going for, but instead felt like a computer’s reaction if you fed it the past two decades of designs that met that description and asked it to make one itself. It felt artificial and forced and a bit bland and ultimately quite irritating. All of this is also an apt description for the character of <span style="font-style:italic;">Coraline</span>. I’m sorry to all of you who felt that a girl who moves into a new town where she just doesn’t fit in and her parents don’t understand was such a breath of fresh air in the canon of cinema. The second half did a decent job with the final execution…but all that did was make me give it three stars on Netflix instead of a damnable two.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv_kb3NKu1gENrehQqNuoLrsllHPAKdnKkrBaBYb5gNDvvJZZ7NyCxnoe1WizdT2KEt38g0-xME_RmUazaSm3a-t6w59BlSYOtw8bRzIKRe0UTY64BVryyJt21fqD6oPwu92NkJ2hJlF4/s1600-h/coraline-and-other-mother.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv_kb3NKu1gENrehQqNuoLrsllHPAKdnKkrBaBYb5gNDvvJZZ7NyCxnoe1WizdT2KEt38g0-xME_RmUazaSm3a-t6w59BlSYOtw8bRzIKRe0UTY64BVryyJt21fqD6oPwu92NkJ2hJlF4/s320/coraline-and-other-mother.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441890565263216610" /></a><br /><br />Now for the big three. If <span style="font-style:italic;">The Princess and the Frog</span> wins, it will win purely because the Academy wants to see more 2-D animation. While the story was good and cute, the problem is that the mere evocation of the Disney movies of the late 80s and early 90s (as the trailer did try to summon up) only serve to highlight that while the story was good and cute (and Shadow Man was a fun villain), this movie is nowhere near the caliber of <span style="font-style:italic;">Beauty and the Beast</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">Aladdin</span>. It’s a standard-good entry into the world of cell animation. In 1991, it would be pretty forgettable. Now, it’s Oscar-nominated.<br /><br />Finally, it’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Up </span>vs. <span style="font-style:italic;">Fantastic Mr. Fox</span>. Now, we all know my adoration of <span style="font-style:italic;">Up</span>. I think it was the second or third best film <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-37Ez_WhOiP8iMlsNapw0U9NqKTXuWr1xP3B8pZ3mWj3RkSj4J4gKgUrdIUkEEzJLOWJQcZtvdeqxlxistAfTujxEjjRCBVjzjbfm3938awpWoLafvOJANGB5mCjBL_FIvzcsCClKoeU/s1600-h/fantastic_mr_fox_poster2.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-37Ez_WhOiP8iMlsNapw0U9NqKTXuWr1xP3B8pZ3mWj3RkSj4J4gKgUrdIUkEEzJLOWJQcZtvdeqxlxistAfTujxEjjRCBVjzjbfm3938awpWoLafvOJANGB5mCjBL_FIvzcsCClKoeU/s320/fantastic_mr_fox_poster2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441890788626047474" /></a>of the year. It’s a better movie than <span style="font-style:italic;">Mr. Fox</span>. But, I would be completely fine if <span style="font-style:italic;">Fantastic Mr. Fox</span> won. The fact that of the five nominees, only one is computer animated is refreshing enough. To see such a wonderful showcase of stop-motion animation and all its quirks and differences from real life win would be a lovely boost of energy for animation as a medium. It might even help stop the onslaught of Despicable Me and similarly subpar, mass-produced 3-D animated films. Granted, the chance of that happening is as small as the chance of Mr. Fox winning. Up has the award in the bag like it’s Lock, Shock, and Barrel and the gold statue is Sandy Claws. And if there is any upset, symbolic win, it’ll be <span style="font-style:italic;">The Princess and the Frog</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who will win:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Up</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who should win: </span><span style="font-style:italic;">Up</span>Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-23930072643251491752010-02-19T09:55:00.000-08:002010-02-19T10:23:48.381-08:00The BAH!scars #6: Actors Speak Louder Than Words<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPv85zFnDtxlV-_SvnwkiQd_ALdT8dbAyNvb_EhKO2RQTMTA1eEzIuYEVUTNzc_BoXUKQkxf44cBRvetafECqwp06x0Ou8qVcabtw5_vS50kKDVV1U8cb2FAlQqUJU3ObEkNXoFWn0ZJ4/s1600-h/Oscar+Grouch.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPv85zFnDtxlV-_SvnwkiQd_ALdT8dbAyNvb_EhKO2RQTMTA1eEzIuYEVUTNzc_BoXUKQkxf44cBRvetafECqwp06x0Ou8qVcabtw5_vS50kKDVV1U8cb2FAlQqUJU3ObEkNXoFWn0ZJ4/s320/Oscar+Grouch.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440017909992388114" /></a>I don't exactly understand the title myself, but like many a line in a Bruce Springsteen song, it sounds cool despite not be completely decipherable. Now, without further ado, I present my take on the four acting categories.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Actor in a Leading Role</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart”<br />George Clooney in “Up in the Air”<br />Colin Firth in “A Single Man”<br />Morgan Freeman in “Invictus”<br />Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker”</span><br /> <br />As I said before, I haven’t seen <span style="font-style:italic;">Invictus</span>, nor do I have any inclinition to do so and I’m pretty sure I would find Morgan Freeman’s performance as unimpressive as his last two decades of work. Jeremy Renner does not have a shot at winning since his very nomination was doubtful, which is a shame since his performance is the second best on this list. I do not understand the George Clooney buzz. He does a decent job with what he had to do in <span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air</span>, but what he had to do was not <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTG9bIZzShIUYqDG6CLG4upJK6ToteVQKth1YQz4xot1IfsQ1iGOcrvxRyP4qj2vZY9B5gIe9c2C5zDRJDj9evEsPu0RNEWuH0ceGx6qrQDWBzf-tfkxRXkkWPt254sQ-7me5U7gj3IZk/s1600-h/up-in-the-air-george-clooney.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 167px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTG9bIZzShIUYqDG6CLG4upJK6ToteVQKth1YQz4xot1IfsQ1iGOcrvxRyP4qj2vZY9B5gIe9c2C5zDRJDj9evEsPu0RNEWuH0ceGx6qrQDWBzf-tfkxRXkkWPt254sQ-7me5U7gj3IZk/s320/up-in-the-air-george-clooney.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440018068740424242" /></a>all that much. Just because one does not screw up pan frying chicken breasts does not make one a gourmet chef. This role more or less cements his desire to be a modern day Cary Grant, but Clooney’s problem is that he is not willing to humiliate himself (well, except for maybe <span style="font-style:italic;">Batman and Robin</span>) and go off-the-wall-bonkers like Grant often does. He always has to be the coolest guy in the room, but that is only half the game. Could you see Clooney leaping about in a frilly negligee screaming, <a href=" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A8U6aUPW48">“I just went gay all of a sudden!”</a>? Neither could I. <br /> <br />That leaves us with the two big figures in my eyes: who should win and who will win. If the Academy could actually identify good acting, this award would be Firth’s. His quiet, restrained, tortured performance as a man in an intense state of grief and mourning was the heart of <span style="font-style:italic;">A Single Man</span>. Every word of his, every action he did was informed by what he had suffered, yet he did not labor his points like other actors would. My only concern with Firth winning would be that, between him, Hoffman, and Penn all winning in recent years, that would turn "playing a gay man" into the new "playing a mentally challenged person" for "how to win Best Actor."<br /> <br />Jeff Bridges however has made a pretty clean getaway with most of the awards. This trophy is his. Now allow me to rant for a bit:<br /> <br />I despise <span style="font-style:italic;">Crazy Heart</span>. Originally, I walked out of it just feeling bored and underwhelmed and wanting to kill Maggie Gyllenhaal for what she did to my sensibilities. The movie is <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wrestler</span>, just with a less interesting screenplay, a completely bland director, and an inferior actor. In fact, this movie is a great rebuttal to anyone who said that <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wrestler</span> was soley carried by Roarke's performance. <span style="font-style:italic;">Crazy Heart </span>has been scrubbed and polished and Hollywoodized to the extreme, replacing pro-wrestling in New Jersey with the overly romantic country singing in the southwest and shoving in a trite happy ending. It feels contrived and created just to win awards and I honestly don’t sense the semblance of a soul or piece of artistic merit in it. Naturally, the Academy would smile even the slightest bit more favorably on this film than <span style="font-style:italic;">The Wrestler</span>.<br /> <br />Now, when I see a movie, even if I hate it, I can usually find one thing good about it. Even <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Knight</span>, my sworn celluloid <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuQA_nLBjYJbBlz3I8slcqMM69_ELVaFKS-9qTD3e5ntOje3TuyF5DLOQfoO8UxH7Y_ZlpoRfdrZiHkJ9ssD2M_4X6Q-LxNbwa6uN8o7-Y3HVZDt_ZtSZFiOAT62Y8eHKKmduaKurye28/s1600-h/Colin+Firth+Set+Single+Man+5nu23gqVLC5l.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 246px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuQA_nLBjYJbBlz3I8slcqMM69_ELVaFKS-9qTD3e5ntOje3TuyF5DLOQfoO8UxH7Y_ZlpoRfdrZiHkJ9ssD2M_4X6Q-LxNbwa6uN8o7-Y3HVZDt_ZtSZFiOAT62Y8eHKKmduaKurye28/s320/Colin+Firth+Set+Single+Man+5nu23gqVLC5l.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440018305530051394" /></a>nemesis, has about 15 seconds that I thought were excellent (Joker fiddling with the explosive remote outside the hospital). (<span style="font-style:italic;">500) Days of Summer, District 9, A Christmas Carol</span> – all of these had one aspect or another that I could praise, something that would make me hesitate or even stop before throwing all proof of these films into utter nihility. <span style="font-style:italic;">Crazy Heart </span>has nothing I can praise. Nothing is noteworthy. Nothing ascends beyond its bile of insipidness and absolute forgetability. If Bridges’ performance can be praised as “good,” it is only good in the most average of ways that the world would not have suffered had it been deracinated at its inception as there are hundreds of more of those in the sweep of cinema.<br /> <br />Colin Firth delivers a powerful character study of a broken man. Jeff Bridges just goes through the motions.<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who will win:</span> Jeff Bridges<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who should win: </span>Colin Firth<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Actress in a Leading Role</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”<br />Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”<br />Carey Mulligan in “An Education”<br />Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”<br />Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia”</span><br /> <br />I’ve already spoken about my disgust at the mere concept of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Blind Side</span> (see prior entry if you suffer from amnesia). Of course, Bullock already should start dusting off a place on her shelf from her little gold man. <span style="font-style:italic;">The Blind Side</span> got nominated for Best Picture and she’s the only other nomination it has. The Academy clearly finds her so great (or, to be honest, is so surprised that she is not a completely shit actor and can act in a serious role) that it nominated a movie for the top accolade because of her. She’s already won.<br /> <br />I haven’t seen <span style="font-style:italic;">The Last Station</span>, so I’ll instead talk about the other three actresses who will be done a great disservice next month. First off, Meryl Streep, who was probably hoping for some time that she’d finally win her first Oscar in decades despite a bajillion and eight <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIyVjQH6Kp9I-0oW8hD825cx2eX69-hK88XIQSZIzWqPbIQwj0b8fKVDup-Eohvhyphenhyphen-Xl_ldMDIXVzRvMIWn2nGbXECAe87CEmlQilEd9oNy23to1AyeR99JbsRjpgsaqy-i_4wr2Tpqrw/s1600-h/20100202-gabby-sidibe-600x411.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 165px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIyVjQH6Kp9I-0oW8hD825cx2eX69-hK88XIQSZIzWqPbIQwj0b8fKVDup-Eohvhyphenhyphen-Xl_ldMDIXVzRvMIWn2nGbXECAe87CEmlQilEd9oNy23to1AyeR99JbsRjpgsaqy-i_4wr2Tpqrw/s320/20100202-gabby-sidibe-600x411.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440018559212284242" /></a>nominations. Every moment that she was Julia Child on screen was an absolute joy (I really think I had a smile on my face the entire time). As for Gabourey Sidibe, she really impressed me. Her performance may seem on the surface to be very simple – she just plays a victim. But she plays the role of a stoic, where she can’t overact or overreact, but instead must play the part of a character who keeps the same expression despite her turmoil of emotions (akin to Heath Ledger in <span style="font-style:italic;">Brokeback Mountain</span>). Yet her body language (in large print font – hey-o!) changes so subtly yet effectively that you don’t even realize how much she’s growing as a character until the end.<br /> <br />Finally, there’s Carey Mulligan. She deserves this Oscar for her absolutely breath-taking break-out role as Jenny. She plays the role perfectly and, as one critic nicely put it, conveys that she is a girl making stupid decision, but herself is not stupid. Just as I mentioned how Sarsgaard seduces us, Mulligan is as necessary to that seduction. She must convince us how attractive David is and simultaneously place herself as a figure of identification and almost authority (so we can embrace her choices) and a figure who we know is headed towards a tragic conclusion.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who will win: </span>Sandra Bullock<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who should win:</span> Carey Mulligan<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Actor in a Supporting Role</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Matt Damon in “Invictus”<br />Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger”<br />Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station”<br />Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones”<br />Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds”<br /></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0I2n7oqgQhpEd52WDXhfwQewpw25aHqHVaogwXgUeEcyYbfQz7Fl1PbbK0c89a9aabjjKf03kI4GfoGS2D-aYsU5ZyjF8Nn8pJEYvJyb1OUp4m_RBLj8eOuKommSWHNgA3njQni_OQsE/s1600-h/300.harrelson.messenger.lr.011510.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 210px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0I2n7oqgQhpEd52WDXhfwQewpw25aHqHVaogwXgUeEcyYbfQz7Fl1PbbK0c89a9aabjjKf03kI4GfoGS2D-aYsU5ZyjF8Nn8pJEYvJyb1OUp4m_RBLj8eOuKommSWHNgA3njQni_OQsE/s320/300.harrelson.messenger.lr.011510.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440018728963567970" /></a>Yeah, this one still ain’t a contest. And I still have only seen two of the performances. And I still wonder why Stanley Tucci was not nominated for <span style="font-style:italic;">Julie and Julia</span> since everyone seems to like that movie more and really only have nominated him for <span style="font-style:italic;">The Lovely Bones</span> since for some reason that seems better than nominating him for <span style="font-style:italic;">Julie and Julia</span>. Anyway, I love me some Waltz, though am sorry for Harrelson that he had to put forth such an outstanding performance this particular year.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who should and win will: </span>Christoph Waltz.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Actress in a Supporting Role</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Penélope Cruz in “Nine”<br />Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air”<br />Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”<br />Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air”<br />Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”</span><br /><br />God, this category just vitiates the entire Oscars. I’ve already gone on in the BAH!scars #3 about the absolute, hyperbole-defying atrocity that is Maggie Gyllenhaal in <span style="font-style:italic;">Crazy Heart</span>. Vera Farmiga was in that “Meryl Streep in <span style="font-style:italic;">Doubt</span>, good but not astoundingly, uniquely good, just generically good” category. Penelope Cruz excels with her one musical number in <span style="font-style:italic;">Nine </span>(and also probably successfully titillated all 12 straight men who saw it), but aside from that is stuck doing a decent job covering scenes from <span style="font-style:italic;">8 ½</span> that could never surpass the original.<br /><br />Of course, the buzz in this category is circling around Mo’Nique, who plays Precious’s truculent mother, particularly for her final monologue. Naturally, I <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmZln-KLMrCiWVbAVMnUMUhQrJAIDfP99lT3FCxeuk_IdczFPcuCsiBRCApHQheqweBBL55Qar81VCDpCCMPMQkml4fH4zJ7GxXfPjvYtp50J2jC7bQ_eaRm-FC6QK6-hkuiFRLlYytvQ/s1600-h/monique-precious.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 260px; height: 226px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmZln-KLMrCiWVbAVMnUMUhQrJAIDfP99lT3FCxeuk_IdczFPcuCsiBRCApHQheqweBBL55Qar81VCDpCCMPMQkml4fH4zJ7GxXfPjvYtp50J2jC7bQ_eaRm-FC6QK6-hkuiFRLlYytvQ/s320/monique-precious.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440018890868660146" /></a>differ from the masses. I liked Mo’Nique’s character for most of the film, as she simply sat in her chair, watching TV, smoking, and waiting to strike. She was like a scorpion in the room; you knew she was going to bring destruction eventually, but you knew that running away from her would only entice her sadistic tendencies. Furthermore, I liked that she was an unexplained evil and the same level of obstacle for Precious as poverty. She could not be reasoned away or reasoned with – she was just there. Very rarely is inexplicable evil done well - this could have been one of those times.<br /><br />Then came that atrocious monologue. Firstly, I do not think Mo’Nique did all that impressive of a job with it. She was *ACTING!* instead of acting and that only works if you’re Gloria Swanson and the name of your movie is "<span style="font-style:italic;">Sunset Boulevard</span>". As for the speech itself...no. Just no. It did not work. It did not provide a satisfying explanation, and whether it was trying to make me hate her more or elicit sympathy, I could not tell. At the end, I was just confused and ready for her to exit stage right. <br /><br />I suppose I would give this award to Anna Kendrick. While she does play her part in an over-the-top fashion, she manages to make her choice become of the funniest, liveliest parts in a film that only wishes it were that funny and lively. She perfectly straddles the line of too-ridiculous-to-be-true and <span style="font-style:italic;">just</span>-believable-enough-to-work-in-a-movie.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Who will win:</span> Mo’Nique<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Who should win:</span> Anna Kendrick (at least of those nominated)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPWza2gQyMCDLgdv3f1Cp1gcvT9Eicf_ZRfd_VCOiDWUccY3v8fVVMFRbyJ5uu33-8W_kkz52bhM-IRHjVrEbGNc44iITnYZU5vJpUAD0wOQ5CZdbl3JF1dGh-3Zn7cxG2t7C5ZPUawhA/s1600-h/anna+kendrick.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 282px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPWza2gQyMCDLgdv3f1Cp1gcvT9Eicf_ZRfd_VCOiDWUccY3v8fVVMFRbyJ5uu33-8W_kkz52bhM-IRHjVrEbGNc44iITnYZU5vJpUAD0wOQ5CZdbl3JF1dGh-3Zn7cxG2t7C5ZPUawhA/s320/anna+kendrick.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440019022511645010" /></a><br /><br />Because I'm a considerate sonuvagun, I'll do the rest of my Oscar predictions next entry to spare you from reading another 5+ page entry. Coming up next time: director, screenplays, maybe cinematography, possibly animated, and anything else you're really curious for me to weigh in on! Seriously, if you want me to do a category, just let me know!Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-40887026483405700082010-02-15T19:30:00.000-08:002010-02-15T20:04:09.177-08:00The BAH!scars #5: Best Picture?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK-qnF2OzrU5SYwWwcLumMHYlXIwgcArhnl3BPlebdpvjxyyx1LyQvSQtkLFkiq3nqv-FwrpfaP_8BMg0mkltHbbo5Vs4t2nmxEZ1fdpUE7XOKBrplbiYMxD6CeW1lHx5xoqMxOskix2Q/s1600-h/Oscar+Grouch.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK-qnF2OzrU5SYwWwcLumMHYlXIwgcArhnl3BPlebdpvjxyyx1LyQvSQtkLFkiq3nqv-FwrpfaP_8BMg0mkltHbbo5Vs4t2nmxEZ1fdpUE7XOKBrplbiYMxD6CeW1lHx5xoqMxOskix2Q/s320/Oscar+Grouch.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438678964125943090" /></a>Welcome back to another installment of the BAH!scars! This entry really requires no introduction...so I'll stop now.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Level 1 – the Other 3</span><br /><br />These were the three films that were kind of the toss-up when it came to the Best Picture nomination discussion. Obviously, they all stand an Aronofsky’s chance of winning (despite Aronofsky’s films being able to wipe the floor with these pieces of poo).<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Blind Side</span></span><br /><br />The one nominee I have not yet seen and, to be perfectly frank, have no interest in seeing. Anyone who I respect and who has seen it has nothing but condemnatory words <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJEyjoQLj6za-wQhrV2eKZd5RCl8CLAidqWuurup8OgYYeVImdMRkcCgBFSnnrq9C0XMsjcvGf0q71fOEgOvGQ5UV9Hz8geT6_kEY0TCeNNfJ9QKpTs3iAgxZ6V7qAWZGE5-BFPdgLH5M/s1600-h/blind_side_poster.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJEyjoQLj6za-wQhrV2eKZd5RCl8CLAidqWuurup8OgYYeVImdMRkcCgBFSnnrq9C0XMsjcvGf0q71fOEgOvGQ5UV9Hz8geT6_kEY0TCeNNfJ9QKpTs3iAgxZ6V7qAWZGE5-BFPdgLH5M/s320/blind_side_poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438679309236565106" /></a>to say about it. “Glorified TV movie.” “Bullock’s just okay.” “Boring then boring then racist then boring.” What can I say? I hate schmaltz, I hate sport movies, I hate mindless Oscar feel-good-inspiration bait. And I hate Sandra Bullock. I’d be miserable every step of the way and I’m not giving into the Academy by seeing this movie just because they threw two nominations at it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I rank it amongst the ten</span>: 10<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Odds of winning</span>: 1 to 1,000. This film was the surprise nominee of the year, bolstered only by the awards/reviews for Bullock, very similar to <span style="font-style:italic;">The Reader</span> last year. In a five-picture year, the odds might be 1 to 100, but now there are nine other films to beat, all of which have more clout/support than this one does. Of course, bad Bullock movies that take a heavy-handed look at race have won before against all odds. But if it happens this time, film-nerds nationwide may have their own “Rodney King Verdict”-style riots.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">District 9</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDq7tB30IFrLIW7Fl7lQYtLQsBFMr02jtWQxLp7C4liISMoSMgf6dsmmFfNfHopOd6eMexJi7rv6wUt5IsYHQNBzUhVErg6eJ2Vi6FfIC50GSf8VyrbXQiq_XhOUMVnOxurhC9O6eHo8s/s1600-h/district-9-poster.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 217px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDq7tB30IFrLIW7Fl7lQYtLQsBFMr02jtWQxLp7C4liISMoSMgf6dsmmFfNfHopOd6eMexJi7rv6wUt5IsYHQNBzUhVErg6eJ2Vi6FfIC50GSf8VyrbXQiq_XhOUMVnOxurhC9O6eHo8s/s320/district-9-poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438680897121411698" /></a>Like I said in a prior entry, this movie snatched up <span style="font-style:italic;">Star Trek</span>’s “Token Summer Movie Nomination/Let’s Keep the Plebs Happy” prize. Ironically, despite thinking <span style="font-style:italic;">Star Trek</span> is a better movie, I am annoyed less by this selection. Possibly because at least this choice seems more in line with typical Academy thinking (Little Indie That Could, Important Issue, etc.). That being said, the fact that <span style="font-style:italic;">District 9</span> is a nomination for Best Picture is a complete and utter joke. The plot was incredibly cookie cutter (I dare say it may rival <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar</span>’s), the commentary was heavy-handed, and I really do not think I should feel so bored when watching people explode. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I rank it amongst the ten:</span> 9<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Odds of winning:</span> 1 to 500. Note the “Token” in its prize. This nomination was an act of diplomacy by the Academy. Diplomacy is taking a few small hits to appease the other party. It’s not committing seppuku to show you were wrong.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">A Serious Man</span></span><br /><br />The more I thought about <span style="font-style:italic;">A Serious Man</span>, the more it crumbled for me. Probably initially I was temporarily blinded by what so <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWYJgqB_pjPVf2i-HsYj9QVrWijRHmJkDcaICSwC30-lorqIw6LdsQD1pcL51yKDBrfxms6gVkZinkWg_WJeYPR-sbE8OFcolISw588vzswIQRs_w0F-94Wuqsm2xAJcslwPMuAC5Qt7M/s1600-h/a_serious_man_poster.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 208px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWYJgqB_pjPVf2i-HsYj9QVrWijRHmJkDcaICSwC30-lorqIw6LdsQD1pcL51yKDBrfxms6gVkZinkWg_WJeYPR-sbE8OFcolISw588vzswIQRs_w0F-94Wuqsm2xAJcslwPMuAC5Qt7M/s320/a_serious_man_poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438680789519622754" /></a>many people were blinded by: if a movie is that depressing, boring, dense, and contains no answers, it must be great stuff. It had a strong lead performance and a few good moments with the camera (and I did love the opening scene), but aside from that…it was a shaggy dog of a movie: a lot of hair that couldn’t attach itself to anything. While there have been great movies that have broken free of traditional norms of plot and character (e.g. Bunuel’s <span style="font-style:italic;">The Phantom of Liberty</span>), this picture did not even have a single idea upon which to hinge itself, aside from the very tired Job one.<br /><br />This nomination was probably a combination the aforementioned blinding with A) “Hey! We’ve nominated and awarded the Coen’s before!” and B) a desire for more cred among the film geeks who hate the Academy as much as the cretins.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I rank it amongst the ten: </span>8<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Odds of winning: </span>1 to 150. In many’s eyes, this was a doubtful nomination. I thought it had a good chance of making it to the race of 10, but that’s about it. This movie is bland, but not Academy-Approved-Bland and will therefore not grab voters’ eyes come check-off time.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Level 2</span> <br /><br />“We’re so happy the Academy amped it up to 10!” These two were the ones that were pretty much guaranteed 2 of the 5 extra slots. They never would have gotten a real nomination, but they were also not a question when filling out the list. They have the slightest chance of winning, though a picture of that moment would have to go in the dictionary under “upset.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Up</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0IRdBbEAhUgX5qAY-rtVPDCSktZglVWzH06E2M7bi1SMlTMRKEhyC8MpD8jdhGJyr4ijj4-AeDj2gkZKXlK-ZFweiiLrlEhjN-b2d8UcIyiFxHVnx1FRr75hACAkFGbqFfPV5B1Mt04E/s1600-h/new-up-poster.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0IRdBbEAhUgX5qAY-rtVPDCSktZglVWzH06E2M7bi1SMlTMRKEhyC8MpD8jdhGJyr4ijj4-AeDj2gkZKXlK-ZFweiiLrlEhjN-b2d8UcIyiFxHVnx1FRr75hACAkFGbqFfPV5B1Mt04E/s320/new-up-poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438681835204852162" /></a>Oh, how I love this movie. Oh, how it’s refreshing to see the Academy’s need to nominate token films used for good instead of evil. Oh, how this movie does not have a chance of winning. <br /><br />Amazing - <span style="font-style:italic;">Up </span>is a film that delivers well-developed characters, clever humor, tears, an uplifting message about the human condition, and adventure…and because it’s computer animated, it has a pretty infinitesimal chance of taking home the gold. However, this nomination does cement what everyone already knew: that <span style="font-style:italic;">Up </span>will win Best Animated Feature.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I rank it amongst the ten:</span> 2<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Odds of winning:</span> 1 to 85. This nomination is almost as much of a token as District 9. However, this injustice has the benefit of having a more vocal, consistent, and intelligent group of complainers rallying behind it. There is a miniscule possibility that the Academy will try to appease the animated lobbyists in one foul swoop before returning to their usual antics. But it’s miniscule.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">An Education</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPfRUQofMO5J5aOFnZWlVSqBq1ehrW1bUbdloHP8zwZj92ZptYRLzv9uOsT_3ZndDLrU3Y6LAjecW0P2FnMRPbJf0cdKg4HNViz3ny7XwSVb6kTqBbrmA6MQYV0jOdWCu6vM3d0IkLn1k/s1600-h/an_education-poster-0.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPfRUQofMO5J5aOFnZWlVSqBq1ehrW1bUbdloHP8zwZj92ZptYRLzv9uOsT_3ZndDLrU3Y6LAjecW0P2FnMRPbJf0cdKg4HNViz3ny7XwSVb6kTqBbrmA6MQYV0jOdWCu6vM3d0IkLn1k/s320/an_education-poster-0.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438686134045041282" /></a>This film is a solid choice. The acting is phenomenal and the dialogue is top notch. Carey Mulligan deserves the Oscar, though she won’t get it, and a few of the other actors were quite snubbed. It by no means is a “Best Picture” film either in the Academy’s eyes (Ew! Girl sleeping with older man! Ew! Quiet British film!) or mine, but this film is a welcome addition to filling out the list, be it 5 or 10 films.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I rank it amongst the ten:</span> 4<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Odds of winning:</span> 1 to 60. Like I said, it’s a good pick for filling out the list, but it is not flashy enough for the Academy. Only if there were an incredible vote split would it have a shot.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Level 3</span><br /><br />We’re now on the movies that would have been the five nominees had the Academy not decided to make a desperate attempt to get more viewers and pander to the masses. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire</span></span><br /><br />I will admit I went into this movie with some biases against it. I thought (and still think) that the title is as obnoxious as a neon yellow sweatsuit (and misuses quotations). All the trailers made it looks exploitative, predictable, and mindless Oscar-bait (let’s all think about race for two hours! Hurray for triumphing over adversity!). I did not like how certain critics/marketers were trying to guilt the American public into seeing the film by saying they were racist if they did not (when really, the American public will only see “indy”-ish film if they’re quirky and cute). And, I really did not want to see Fatty walk down the red carpet in a dress, trying to look attractive or at least not completely repulsive. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXnwhzaMEviDt601HAgZowkTwXAZ2Se09cg6G71srScCEjg0jPsIFNc6D_mdqlGBaNTa-iH4xtiU7tKQmDPu2ompRagHzsL9VO7iIa1cBjdc8mIRnPNdAZ42st1rWnzm4kFYdC4moDvc4/s1600-h/precious.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXnwhzaMEviDt601HAgZowkTwXAZ2Se09cg6G71srScCEjg0jPsIFNc6D_mdqlGBaNTa-iH4xtiU7tKQmDPu2ompRagHzsL9VO7iIa1cBjdc8mIRnPNdAZ42st1rWnzm4kFYdC4moDvc4/s320/precious.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438686293451099906" /></a>Now, little sidetrack. Sometimes, I see a movie that I expect I’m going to hate and it surpasses my expectations as to how repugnant it can be. I will then say, “Yes, it was indeed as horrible as I surmised...and then some!” and people will say that I went in prejudiced against it and did not give it a fair chance. I always argue with them that even if I go in with expectations, I still do not let those cloud my judgment. In fact, if the movie is even the slightest bit decent, it benefits from my bias. I often will think “Wow! This isn’t horrible!” and that will quickly transition to “This is quite good!” If anything, most movies find that my preconceived negative opinions ameliorate my final judgment, just as my excitement for a film has a tendency to lead to ultimate disappointment.<br /><br />Upon reflection, <span style="font-style:italic;">Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire</span> is still predictable (it's only a step or two up from <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar</span>), a bit exploitative, and nothing all that special. But the acting is mostly strong (Fatty in fact so exceeds with what her role requires that I lament the reality that she probably will not have a career after this movie), the script is just interesting enough, and the directio – er, I’ll describe my ambivalence towards the direction in my next Oscar post – that it won my over. I approve of <span style="font-style:italic;">Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire</span>, as a movie. It may not deserve to be in the top 5, but it’s better than a lot of other nominees.<br /><br />Of course, I may not have actually seen <span style="font-style:italic;">Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire </span>since both my ticket and the marquis for the theater only said "Precious."<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHqM54YEQZS6odteHZKGhC-0B2J8vfL6DOtPuJTQQWoLX6A32_hyphenhyphenrwSjhoWWKowPOQc_ojR8KP-S2UCY23oORx5rP8V1WKbSYWa_QO9fBp66GlwhxmOkqB5vl3MghZK6OeJMoHNGHIT4s/s1600-h/DSC01123.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 254px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHqM54YEQZS6odteHZKGhC-0B2J8vfL6DOtPuJTQQWoLX6A32_hyphenhyphenrwSjhoWWKowPOQc_ojR8KP-S2UCY23oORx5rP8V1WKbSYWa_QO9fBp66GlwhxmOkqB5vl3MghZK6OeJMoHNGHIT4s/s320/DSC01123.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438685862202002978" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Where I rank it amongst the ten:</span> 6<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Odds of winning:</span> 1 to 25. It’s the recipient of the “Little Miss Juno” Award. Part of the deal with that award is that the recipient has not all that great of a chance of getting any award past the “Little Miss Juno” Award.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYngyP1u6Pd6oo1y5jqT4CMmyl9uxXUQ8UBqxnXYbGv_GaraDSgEMcmzKmY3MBg-X7IwoF1K7I_NN7AgBYlCEYQEJAZihmqGzTL99pYXqYVvtBHrx3F-DCx_ShtbfR_XivLxLZBHGrkzU/s1600-h/upintheair_poster1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYngyP1u6Pd6oo1y5jqT4CMmyl9uxXUQ8UBqxnXYbGv_GaraDSgEMcmzKmY3MBg-X7IwoF1K7I_NN7AgBYlCEYQEJAZihmqGzTL99pYXqYVvtBHrx3F-DCx_ShtbfR_XivLxLZBHGrkzU/s320/upintheair_poster1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438686645875304034" /></a>Back when this movie had a very good shot at winning, Entertainment Weekly ran <a href="http://movie-critics.ew.com/2010/01/02/avatar-vs-up-in-the-air/">this piece</a>. It simultaneously interested and bothered me. Why did it vex me so? Because <span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air</span> is not a triumph of witty dialogue and plot and great characters. It only thinks it is. It half-wants to be a modern day screwball comedy (as this article belies) but cannot bring itself to abandon its seeming-sophistication and unabashedly invite in the immaturity that allows such a pleasant juxtaposition. As a result, it drags. Furthermore, I simply did not find Clooney’s character as funny, sharp, distinct, roguish, or fascinating as the film expected me to. He seemed like a partially-formed idea that never fully took route into a person, and without that, the script continued its collapse. There are moments of greatness in this film, sure, but this is not a great film or anything close. There are just briefs flashes of what could have been one.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I rank it amongst the ten:</span> 7<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Odds of winning:</span> 1 to 10. This movie was probably the favorite back at the turn of the year, but it has lost steam like a kettle taken off the stove. I think the problem was that people started actually seeing it and realized it really wasn’t all that special. It’s only true shot comes from the fact that it carries with it a very timely and Academic message: having loved ones >>> having money and a job.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Level 4</span><br /><br />These are the ones that are really duking it out for Best Picture. Any other one will be some level of an upset. None of these three have a definite chance of winning and therefore there will be surprise no matter which one wins, but not <span style="font-style:italic;">too</span> much surprise.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Inglourious Basterds</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioV8e3rLWX-uju6s1nEj58Q2uODcS93GYgbhxff_NeCkKJYhywEHR4MEk8_ObSzF0013ues1ivEzMmkmFI54l8RS-rTmOriujMUfqpR2EusHFtfem2hUc4zxyDM6n4D0EBERz_appxKa4/s1600-h/inglourious-basterds-new-poster1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioV8e3rLWX-uju6s1nEj58Q2uODcS93GYgbhxff_NeCkKJYhywEHR4MEk8_ObSzF0013ues1ivEzMmkmFI54l8RS-rTmOriujMUfqpR2EusHFtfem2hUc4zxyDM6n4D0EBERz_appxKa4/s320/inglourious-basterds-new-poster1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438684228134063026" /></a>Forget about the year; I’d rank this film as one of the best of the decade. It’s a remarkably clever, incisive film masquerading as a mindless, frat-boy gorefest. Yet, it’s façade of Eli Roth controlling Quentin Tarantino like Brainiac puppeteering Lex Luthor only manages to enhance the film’s overall message and make it more brilliant (I may have to gush about this more in depth in a full-length entry). I walked away from this movie back in August not knowing what to think. I did not even know if I liked it. Repeated viewers and what probably amounts to hours of thinking and discussion have affirmed its place in film history in my mind (and probably also guaranteed that I’ll be writing a real academic essay on this at some point in the future)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Where I rank it amongst the ten:</span> 1<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Odds of winning:</span> 1 to 4. On one hand, we have a director that has already been nominated, the SAG win, nominations in director, screenplay, editing, and cinematography, and general good buzz. On the other hand (SPOILER), we have a movie that ends with Hitler getting a machine gun to the face. The Academy may not look too favorably upon a film that exposes all other “good” WWII films for being as bloodthirsty as any slasher flick. However, this film may be able to rise above the rubble that will ensue in the <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar/Hurt Locker </span>brawl.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijZYgNXaapY-p3PZeOFn-8jQCl8T5epQXjuwroNVsK3dyEr2xVBq87NDWID2yW8RecX8EQv0om6C8JxgJDkDJSaqtsnjk8mIMh_PNzevxxHIxMjgGFr_5hgFcWKtHDatvLpY8qqrwN8PQ/s1600-h/DSC01121.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijZYgNXaapY-p3PZeOFn-8jQCl8T5epQXjuwroNVsK3dyEr2xVBq87NDWID2yW8RecX8EQv0om6C8JxgJDkDJSaqtsnjk8mIMh_PNzevxxHIxMjgGFr_5hgFcWKtHDatvLpY8qqrwN8PQ/s320/DSC01121.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438683690251967586" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzX1Si3eO0tSR0nzpriAIWGVnoino4wppaSaSsGCBqlbmZsm400FxI74LG6FPcMNOFGIiQhLXYbc-hvq7YPzC4Nz9sVf48dKDJ_68FidlXDcyoVJNIghxD9FfwbYaXFQLfSws-X1tfJd4/s1600-h/avatar-poster-neytiri.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzX1Si3eO0tSR0nzpriAIWGVnoino4wppaSaSsGCBqlbmZsm400FxI74LG6FPcMNOFGIiQhLXYbc-hvq7YPzC4Nz9sVf48dKDJ_68FidlXDcyoVJNIghxD9FfwbYaXFQLfSws-X1tfJd4/s320/avatar-poster-neytiri.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438683102726896642" /></a>I’ve already defended <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar </span>in this blog (read “Avatar’s Gross!” if you need a refresher). That being said, this movie is not Best Picture material. Too many necessary elements are lacking from the film to allow it to make the leap from “enjoyable” to “great” (by the way, I know I use the word “great” a lot when discussing films…I owe that quite a bit to Roger Ebert’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Great Movies</span>. It’s more of a status than an adjective for me, hence why I don’t vary my vocabulary when it comes to that). <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Where I rank it amongst the ten:</span> 5<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Odds of winning:</span> 3 to 7. It will definitely eat up Technical Awards like they were white dots and it was Pac Man. And the Academy is really trying to appease the masses this year (see: ten nominations), so how better to do that than awarding the top grossing movie of all time the top prize? Hey, it worked over a decade ago! And then of course, there’s that whole Golden Globe thing and the fact that the last thing the director did was that movie where the boat sinks.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span></span><br /><br />The great paradox of the Oscars is that they make no one happy: not the masses, nor film nerds. The plebeians complain that the Oscars only choose prestigious, boring films that only a few people see. People who actually know about film bewail that the Academy only chooses films that tend to gross over $100 million and only give the illusion of being “small, independent films.” Yet, ironically, the plebs’ conception might finally be the case for a change. Up against the movie that everyone saw is the truly great film that only grossed about $10 million in its initial release in theaters.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCWcfCV1nXF80d2Heyd2M7eYCR0m9CgzN-pzS33jHFVQtdiGwZKqgfelq49GQ0s4XxPPz2LqL6MN1XkdqDaFsjDdJc8bQp2yfr-3rL9qMI8uSUFXH0fG_TWDl_tSdaQBv_ne_I8MSbLJw/s1600-h/hurt_locker_poster.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 206px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCWcfCV1nXF80d2Heyd2M7eYCR0m9CgzN-pzS33jHFVQtdiGwZKqgfelq49GQ0s4XxPPz2LqL6MN1XkdqDaFsjDdJc8bQp2yfr-3rL9qMI8uSUFXH0fG_TWDl_tSdaQBv_ne_I8MSbLJw/s320/hurt_locker_poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438682722827158098" /></a>Barely anyone saw <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span> this summer. Only a select few film nerds and friends of film nerds were lucky enough to enter the theater in July to see one of the tensest films in years and the best film about the Iraq war to come out so far. It was a film lover’s/thinking man’s action movie, one that delivered a few explosions but knew that the mere promise of an explosion is so much scarier and so much more thrilling. <br /><br />While I prefer <span style="font-style:italic;">Inglourious Basterds</span> to this movie, I will be more than happy if <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span> wins. This movie is the one that has the best chance of beating <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar </span>and it will be the first time in a while that I can really rally behind a Best Picture winner. Hurray for that. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where I rank it amongst the ten: </span>3<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Odds of winning:</span> 1 to 2. This movie not only took home a lot of critic’s year-end awards, but has been catching up pre-Oscar awards like they’re Pokemon (what is with me and videogame similes?). By all means, it should be a hands-down favorite to win. But it’s a small movie. And therefore, it’s going to be a struggle. It has a slight advantage over <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar</span>, but that’s about it.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1390756008457544459.post-81871676723614313332010-02-12T11:54:00.000-08:002010-02-13T07:42:20.080-08:00Caught in a Bad Romance<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6WKBupWiNCbz1jtUHfSGdU7uW3JX5YxXnpSb4hwaQqRALD_DWaDn7H-QTL1LNuEi2G5-dT079SkVvTETb1keaW0Un8aJxRWWSIkbCG7xoUV39kGnHG2aGmA_PSY1MZbP6q_R2ebIbDko/s1600-h/Venus.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6WKBupWiNCbz1jtUHfSGdU7uW3JX5YxXnpSb4hwaQqRALD_DWaDn7H-QTL1LNuEi2G5-dT079SkVvTETb1keaW0Un8aJxRWWSIkbCG7xoUV39kGnHG2aGmA_PSY1MZbP6q_R2ebIbDko/s320/Venus.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437500244197433426" /></a>Sunday’s Valentine’s Day. You know what that means: every restaurant is booked. Dammit! In honor of the event and to spite everyone who is being wined and dined, I present 10 movies that fuck with love and show how love fucks with you.<br /><br />Note 1: SPOILERS. If you haven’t seen a movie and don’t want it spoiled, skip to the next one. <br />Note 2: These are not the top ten movies that do so. Only 10 from across time and genre. Though, I admit that two are only a year apart. <br />Note 3: Any of these movies are DEFINITELY worth a look. Many of them are among my favorites.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Little Mermaid (1989)</span><br /><br />“So much for true love!” – Ursula <br /><br />Things you will have to give up for love may include any or all of the following: your voice, your family/life-long friends/acquaintances <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguH5APOD5gf1ZmZXEj0aewkpqBgkXekoHyM_Cecrb-D8L9w0lhBbB4H-I4kbKa09yhWcGeEUcuff0IXccHsyRp31kiWkDGJd9BvUlgI4IxG7ItBXM0VfFF5ROA32Ph0D10-bk8vKFE5rk/s1600-h/Little+Mermaid.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 204px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguH5APOD5gf1ZmZXEj0aewkpqBgkXekoHyM_Cecrb-D8L9w0lhBbB4H-I4kbKa09yhWcGeEUcuff0IXccHsyRp31kiWkDGJd9BvUlgI4IxG7ItBXM0VfFF5ROA32Ph0D10-bk8vKFE5rk/s320/Little+Mermaid.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437450607617375410" /></a>with whom you’re able to have decent conversations at the supermarket, your kingdom, and your life. <br /><br />Yes, love makes Ariel go stupid to an exponential degree. She forsakes her family, imperils her people and her kingdom, and abandons her friends all to go after a pair of legs and a dick that she has only seen for the grand total of probably a minute. Well, she also has a statue of him, but that just summons up Pygmalion allusions, all of which do her no favors. <br /><br />Imagine for a second that you’re a merperson living under Trident’s sovereignty or even someone residing in the coastal town of the movie. You’re sitting there, eating your seaweed salad, and suddenly it's the climactic battle of the film and an enormous fat drag queen with a trident starts causing storms and spreading desolation. All thanks to Ariel's sex drive. Your wife may be fried to a cinder by a stray trident bolt, your home may be annihilated by some eighty foot tall waves, and you may have permanent psychological scars that will never fully heal…but at least it all ended with the spoiled little princess getting her man. <br /><br />And yes, it’s totally healthy to leave everyone you’ve known and who has loved you your entire life (except a fatuous seagull) all for the sake of getting married. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Sunset Boulevard (1950)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Betty Schafer</span>: Come on, Joe.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Joe Gillis</span>: Come on where? Back to a one-room apartment that I can’t pay for? Back to a story that may sell and very possibly will not?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Betty</span>: If you love me, Joe.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Joe</span>: Look, sweetie -- be practical. I’ve got a good thing here. A long-term contract with no options. I like it that way. Maybe it’s not very admirable. Well, you and Artie can be admirable.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Betty</span>: Joe, I can’t look at you anymore.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Joe</span>: Nobody asked you to.<br /><br />Which relationship am I even talking about here? Norma and Joe? Norma and Max? Joe and Betty? Betty and Artie? Us and Hollywood? Whatever the case may be, none of these are healthy, fulfilling relationships. Joe is with Norma for money; Norma with Joe in a delusional attempt to feel young and attractive still. Betty is with Artie because it’s the “right” thing to do. Max is with Norma because of some misguided, blind devotion…or because no one wants to hire him as a director. Norma is with Max because right until the movie started, she needed someone to clean up all that chimpanzee poop. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLa5JFZpolKoB4JY8YTQHODurcCSeGOxK8Wk47F3j8T8eihctSrbn7pq-vHdZcWfn4p3QDVLOCtnVqDIXD18mNPKy25mHptvJezI8kO-81sEXW3qImppuSVQTbzxfKT4an8vgVaKoVZt4/s1600-h/Sunset+Blvd.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLa5JFZpolKoB4JY8YTQHODurcCSeGOxK8Wk47F3j8T8eihctSrbn7pq-vHdZcWfn4p3QDVLOCtnVqDIXD18mNPKy25mHptvJezI8kO-81sEXW3qImppuSVQTbzxfKT4an8vgVaKoVZt4/s320/Sunset+Blvd.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437450927373697554" /></a><br /><br />Love is selfish. Love is a ploy created to get what you really want: be it money or fuel for your vanity or even just purpose. And even then, it still sucks. You get stuck in an old house with a crazy lady or worry that your lover is sleeping around or, worst of all, you can be Betty and Artie. They are the only couple who stay together at the end. Yet we know that Betty “loves” (or at least feels passion for and can get a good screenplay/job out of) Joe. Instead, she has to run off to Artie at the end – Artie who wants to get married for cheap and skip a honeymoon and probably whisk Betty away from the world of movies that she grew up in and loves and trap her in her own Hollywood mansion (albeit a tinier one). That’s the happy couple at the end.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">L’Atalante (1934)</span><br /><br />[I can’t find quotes online]<br /><br />Roger Ebert calls this movie “poetic.” I guess it is…if you are alluding to a dreary, humdrum "way of life" poetry style that you can find in modern or post-modern works. Quite frankly, this <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Pr0RE0fakJEqNQcLRrPYGefG_yxT4ESJKnkPlgWRcU8KZRfswXtaD4BYbymP2ke1OcbSVdmAHgYuVjVLEHjNqlUEb14K1R_rzi7QrCa-fv0dU82sQMLQ2G1BFftlVGu68scR3j9UpuU/s1600-h/L'Atalante.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Pr0RE0fakJEqNQcLRrPYGefG_yxT4ESJKnkPlgWRcU8KZRfswXtaD4BYbymP2ke1OcbSVdmAHgYuVjVLEHjNqlUEb14K1R_rzi7QrCa-fv0dU82sQMLQ2G1BFftlVGu68scR3j9UpuU/s320/L'Atalante.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437451035818616802" /></a>movie is one of the most depressing movies ever made. We begin with a marriage (the traditional end to a narrative). But the movie only shows us that this coupling, this happy ending, is really neither happy nor the end. After the blissful union that is the typical “Hollywood ending,” what are we left with? Fights about feline hygiene and laundry. A husband jealous to the point of abusive and a wife who may be giving him reason to be. Marriage is like the ship L’Atalante, a small, claustrophobic world that we can’t wait to escape, if only for a few hours.<br /><br />Sure this movie ends with the lovers reconciled and happy…but that’s just where we started. And there are many, many more trips on L’Atalante still in store for these two.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">An Education (2009)</span><br /><br />“You have no idea how boring everything was before I met you.” – Jenny <br /><br />In this movie, Jenny, a nice British schoolgirl, meets David, a “bad Jew” who tries to indoctrinate her into a world of thievery, deception, and promiscuity. She is tempted, but in the end, good perseveres over not-so-good and Jenny leaves David. By the epilogue, we are informed that she’s met a nice British boy who has never been to Paris and who probably is a virgin and who will be Jenny’s rather darling husband. <br /><br />YAWN. Yes, David may have been a shyster and an attempted bigamist, but I’ll be damned if he also was not one of the most attractive, seductive, and fun characters on screen in a long time. <span style="font-style:italic;">An Education </span>manages to show us an actually “good romance,” but it also tells us that what is good for romance is bad for everything else. To have a happy life, you must choose the boring guy, the one you would never bother making a movie about. The only romance worth having is the one that can’t last and the one that will eat away everything else around you like corrosive acid. <br /><br />David did not save Jenny from her boring life, he only showed her how boring the rest of her life would be. And the worst part is – that was the better of the two options she had.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRvG25I1o0GuLdcVx_NRp4mXQ0pBTzbXubf3zlxymudyqwCdXAOE-8RWXpAg5FgfbZuxOrVm_c0fgO2xpWESuWSeWJLleW5y7HIVMYmaaux_tRK3zeiyAyZ6LVM5RzDL5kkdNpuZEpOSs/s1600-h/An+Education.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRvG25I1o0GuLdcVx_NRp4mXQ0pBTzbXubf3zlxymudyqwCdXAOE-8RWXpAg5FgfbZuxOrVm_c0fgO2xpWESuWSeWJLleW5y7HIVMYmaaux_tRK3zeiyAyZ6LVM5RzDL5kkdNpuZEpOSs/s320/An+Education.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437451163938416674" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Vertigo (1958)*</span><br /><br />“Too late. It’s too late. There’s no bringing her back.” – Scottie Ferguson<br /><br />Imagine the perfect mate; he/she’s stunningly attractive, magnificently cultured, and only has eyes for you. Are you imagining him? Good – because that’s the only way you’re ever going to see her (oh look at me being all gender-inclusive). In <span style="font-style:italic;">Vertigo</span>, Scottie will for a few brief days get to know Madeleine, a woman so sublime and ethereal that he cannot help but fall madly and hopelessly in love with her. We ourselves can’t help but fall in love with her and want to see Stewart and Novak make mad passionate love on screen (since that would be the closest we’ll ever come to getting in on the action).<br /><br />But of course, Scottie loses her. And then, thanks to an enormous (apparent) coincidence, he finds a girl who looks remarkably like her and tries to recreate his love. He doesn’t really care that he’s mentally tormenting a seemingly innocent woman and, really, neither do we. For love, sacrifices must be made. <br /><br />Except there’s one problem: Judy, the girl off the street, was Madeleine. Which means that there was no “real” Madeleine, at least in so much that we ever knew <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb0_wRYxQPjNF1g4Qy7O5ksVUF9Twy5l13jtruwFQZnpYYBBroP3k2bRB7W7SvlfKhx_0Zv0WENv1RRGSUlTXZ_9vVn5rXYft8sFTvnRemcN4RDF3j8GbDDH6uqz69zhaDlpT6v-q1oeU/s1600-h/Vertigo.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb0_wRYxQPjNF1g4Qy7O5ksVUF9Twy5l13jtruwFQZnpYYBBroP3k2bRB7W7SvlfKhx_0Zv0WENv1RRGSUlTXZ_9vVn5rXYft8sFTvnRemcN4RDF3j8GbDDH6uqz69zhaDlpT6v-q1oeU/s320/Vertigo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437451305047877906" /></a>her. Scottie’s dream girl was a lie. For all we know, the “real” Madeleine Elster farted constantly and got chili stains all over her grey suits. Of course, there’s no “real” Madeleine Elster since this is just a movie, but don’t think too hard. The more you think about <span style="font-style:italic;">Vertigo</span>, the more you feel like you’re precariously holding onto the increasingly slipping ledge of your sanity.<br /><br />In short: perfect mate = nonexistent. The best you can do is try to dress someone else up as him or her, but in the end, you’re being abusive or s/he’s deceiving you or you’re deceiving yourself. Love is a lie. A lie that hurts like a cold, blonde bitchslap.<br /><br />*With eternal gratitude and apologies to my Hitchcock professor Lee Edelman. I’ve taken about 3 hours of brilliant lecturing and mutilated it into a few paragraphs in a blog and most likely did his whole argument a great disservice in the process.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Sheik (1921)</span><br /><br />“When an Arab sees a woman he wants, he takes her.” – Ahmed<br /><br />Hurray for Stockholm Syndrome! This movie teaches us all that the best way to get <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXDThEjVUNfadBnXP189F0yzDskbfvxcTWrPO7cQ1464srEomo9LZDabTyVgPpUd9w4m07UEHLIyKGoY0bllDcQ9wb_A8BFCspN6JSHWqtYnWtz7OqFxVA9oEGcI4xgRdwzrTxwsBkBAs/s1600-h/The+Sheik.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXDThEjVUNfadBnXP189F0yzDskbfvxcTWrPO7cQ1464srEomo9LZDabTyVgPpUd9w4m07UEHLIyKGoY0bllDcQ9wb_A8BFCspN6JSHWqtYnWtz7OqFxVA9oEGcI4xgRdwzrTxwsBkBAs/s320/The+Sheik.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437451495159004386" /></a>the woman of your dreams (especially if she’s an independent free-thinking woman in the early part of the twentieth century) is to kidnap her and force her to live with you until she tries to escape and realizes that you aren’t the worst guy out there. Oh, and if she’s repulsed by the prospect of marrying a Middle Eastern man when she herself is white, simply inform her that you’re adopted and are as white a Klansman’s hood. True love truly is triumphant!<br /><br />(Also, I just realized that this plot is a bit like that of <span style="font-style:italic;">Beauty and the Beast</span>. Just changing “Middle Eastern” to “furry” and “white” to “not furry”)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Brokeback Mountain (2005)</span><br /><br />“I wish I knew how to quit you!” – Jack Twist<br /><br />The typical reaction after seeing <span style="font-style:italic;">Brokeback Mountain</span> is to bemoan homophobia and think, “Alas, alack, and Alaska! If only those two could have loved each other openly and gotten married in California without fear of their heads being bashed in!”* But can’t we also just say, “Man, wouldn’t these two have been so much happier if that incident never happened on Brokeback?”<br /><br />Yes, it’s technically not the nice thing to think…but it’s true. Ennis seemed <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhedqN91qrbQbkBpIBVVJzdD4ZWwuM4rGs_cA7KuZzNJS-SrQPheXb_k0eWJ0b4QxB2HEVKL_vsYcFI6vp_s-Jn3zWEYrgTATd_76vxhBBiMXAl1_0zfedgSdfU2coZjmBOCBqnmTLeJ2E/s1600-h/Brokeback.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhedqN91qrbQbkBpIBVVJzdD4ZWwuM4rGs_cA7KuZzNJS-SrQPheXb_k0eWJ0b4QxB2HEVKL_vsYcFI6vp_s-Jn3zWEYrgTATd_76vxhBBiMXAl1_0zfedgSdfU2coZjmBOCBqnmTLeJ2E/s320/Brokeback.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437451652457317426" /></a>suppressed enough that he never would have succumb to his urges without some Twisting of his arm (and pulling of his fifth leg and…okay, I’ll stop now). He would have gotten married, probably not gotten divorced since his wife would have no infidelity to suspect and everyone would be happier and Daddy would just occasionally buy Men’s Fitness magazines and disappear into the bathroom with them every once in a while.<br /><br />As for Jack, he might have just had a lot more hookups over the years before still being turned into a human piñata. Even if this were the case, he’d be better off. More sex and less angst makes Jack a content homo. And hey, without the emotional ties of Ennis, he might’ve even just decided to move out of Montana/Wyoming/whatever useless state they were in and head out to San Francisco instead. Then not only might he have lived, but he would have had the opportunity to guest star in another Oscar nominated film, <span style="font-style:italic;">Milk</span>!<br /><br />As the poster said, “Love is a force of a nature.” It’s a big fucking hurricane that blows you off course and makes you stupid and miserable and eventually kills you and leaves the other guy with only a shirt to cry over.<br /><br />*Granted, homophobia is worth much bemoaning and gays should be able to get married without fear of cranial restructuring, but that’s not for this entry.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Love & Death (1975)</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Sonja Grushenko</span>: You were my one great love!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Boris Grushenko</span>: Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm dead.<br /><br />I know most people would say <span style="font-style:italic;">Annie Hall </span>might be a better candidate, but as Alvie says at the end, “We need the eggs.” It might be one of the better defenses of love and the inevitable heartbreak. <span style="font-style:italic;">Love and Death</span>’s title shows that while we put the love first in our mind, ultimately death is what matters. Sonja’s overly romantic remark, which would be the emotional triumph of most other films, is sarcastically and rightfully retorted with Boris’s reality-check. Love isn’t a great powerful force that can overcome all in this movie; it’s a distraction from the real force: human mortality. And, as you watch the movie, you see that people will get their distraction through any means necessary: power, deception, money, and guilt trips. One great love is like a very shiny penny – it’s charming but ultimately worthless. The only real, eternal coupling is between Boris and the Grim Reaper.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioF2jXX8hW-c6uypAzIDOnOv_V323GXYTngmjNCQ-73mMTyUsRIkZ1lJWh9ymPj56ufICKEkhgWILwhc67D9ZLCM72S4EwIjhwgx5NzJodV7oyOZG3jqFe-d5UOqvxkEeLBN0wscvegaA/s1600-h/Love+and+Death.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 209px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioF2jXX8hW-c6uypAzIDOnOv_V323GXYTngmjNCQ-73mMTyUsRIkZ1lJWh9ymPj56ufICKEkhgWILwhc67D9ZLCM72S4EwIjhwgx5NzJodV7oyOZG3jqFe-d5UOqvxkEeLBN0wscvegaA/s320/Love+and+Death.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437451782757470402" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">City Lights (1931)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Tramp</span>: Can you see now?<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">A Blind Girl</span>: Yes, I can see now.<br /><br />There really is no more touching way to finish a love story than with the uncovering<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEish92FQd-3ybToL5N-KTRcZUPwG1WZz3MwUZ3aPLs8_FwLE9u4SWs6Wc-3nnhvLHvoJ-B-HWjaiWQYYHM3jPRRGw1At3dt4bNtYeXNXaLqkTjXCpnmRfIRTeXnvkusHhkUgi_L2kMITDA/s1600-h/City+Lights.jpeg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEish92FQd-3ybToL5N-KTRcZUPwG1WZz3MwUZ3aPLs8_FwLE9u4SWs6Wc-3nnhvLHvoJ-B-HWjaiWQYYHM3jPRRGw1At3dt4bNtYeXNXaLqkTjXCpnmRfIRTeXnvkusHhkUgi_L2kMITDA/s320/City+Lights.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437451909837109266" /></a> a ruse and the realization that the man of your dreams is just a dirt-poor ex-con. I guess this is sweet; she finally sees him for who he is and realizes how much he sacrificed for her. But he also deceived her into thinking that he was well-off enough to support her and her mother and who knows what she turned down waiting for Prince Charming? Let’s not even get into the fact that these two probably aren’t going to have all that happy of a marriage as they struggle to get by and she brings up his chicanery whenever they get into a fight. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Imitation of Life (1959)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve Archer</span>: I've been trying to do something with my pictures. It's meant everything to me. Every minute, for a long time now.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lora Meredith</span>: No, it hasn't. Or you wouldn't give it up to sell beer.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve</span>: I gave it up for something much better, something right now: You.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lora</span>: But you're asking me to give up something I've wanted all my life, ever since I was a child, and I can't do it!<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Steve</span>: If you grew up, you could.<br /><br />You know what I like? Having to choose between the man I love and my career plus all my dreams I’ve had since my earliest recollection! Once I find that relationship with a guy, I’ll be set for life! What? No? Not every girl dreams of being carried off by Prince Charming who will then tell her that her own ambitions are infantile compared to her responsibility to him and his need to sire an heir? <br /><br />The particularly horrifying thing about this movie is not simply the fact that Steve <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDfepZpnl5F5ZpjvMwvR9STvouqxwMjV22t5GNyFwwVCQ7E1jB1rF3ycdZTua3FaUBFAXrmEvBmDxWfMuSmgxLoOV4Hc2mSmWdOQ8fJDkvUCnulf3Ndg0nmfolgr3XDfHIFX50NsTfu6g/s1600-h/Imitation+of+Life.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 212px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDfepZpnl5F5ZpjvMwvR9STvouqxwMjV22t5GNyFwwVCQ7E1jB1rF3ycdZTua3FaUBFAXrmEvBmDxWfMuSmgxLoOV4Hc2mSmWdOQ8fJDkvUCnulf3Ndg0nmfolgr3XDfHIFX50NsTfu6g/s320/Imitation+of+Life.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437452050165906482" /></a>does not stray from his position that a woman cannot have it all; no, the most disturbing facet of this movie is that it endorses Steve’s ultimatum and wants the viewer to both validate it and condemn Lora as self-obsessed for simply not surrendering to the throes of her libido. The rest of the movie after this confrontation will obsessively create a world where Lora must be wrong and must be taught a lesson. <br /><br />Also, this movie shows another danger of love: falling in love increases your risk of having children. And children, as illustrated by the duo of the insipid Suzie and the prickly Sarah Jane, are ungrateful little brats who will not realize all that you did for them until you’re in a coffin being pulled by four white horses. Fuck children. <br /><br />(Okay, don’t literally fuck them, but you get the idea)<br /><br />So for those of you not going out to dinner on Valentine's Day, I highly recommend any of these 10 movies. They will make you feel better about your current lack of a significant other.Devinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06366575396224261254noreply@blogger.com0